U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
Old 08-03-2014, 11:47 AM
Location: SW Florida
9,756 posts, read 7,035,798 times
Reputation: 14295


Originally Posted by StealthRabbit View Post
mutual respect ?
being best friends ?
Been through the wringer together ? (30+ yrs of caring for others / disabled parent)
Always having been together? (Farming / traveling / home schooling / building houses and commercial buildings together). We work very well together as we have for all our many yrs. We each had very intense and difficult parents, so grew up with grandparents. I think that is a good IDEA for 'practicing being retired together'! Of course all were farmers, so... plenty of SPACE and mutual help for needs around the farm.

We retired together pre-age 50, and is still a blast, and we each still get plenty of 'alone time', Take separate vacations with siblings and for elder care / volunteer efforts and training, plus PT jobs, One prefers camping, so they do that and we meet-up at various locations thanks to CHEAP airfares.

Soon "we" will be "one", that will be a bit tough without a co-laborer / adventurer. But will have to deal with it. Each can survive pretty well independently. (not sure who is most likely to check out first, both are on borrowed time).

They won't let me rep you again right now, so I just wanted to say , and figure that your being on borrowed time, you'll treasure each moment you have left with each other while you're both still here!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

Old 08-03-2014, 12:25 PM
Location: NE Mississippi
13,664 posts, read 8,577,038 times
Reputation: 19867
Stay healthy?

People say that like it's a choice. Check it off on a list, "Stay Healthy".

If you have not maintained healthy habits your whole life, you are not going to be able to suddenly fix it at age 67.
And even if you have maintained healthy habits it may not help. Health fails or fades for a myriad of reasons and some of them are completely out of our hands.

What I'd like to see - but so far, haven't - is some oldster who decides to get healthy. Now, that's a trick! I believe it can be done, but I've never seen it.
Another thing I don't think I've seen is someone who had healthy habits all his life and suddenly abandoned them at age 67.
I've seen healthy people die suddenly and unhealthy ones totter on forever, it seems. And everything in between.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-03-2014, 01:52 PM
Location: Mid-Atlantic east coast
5,371 posts, read 9,863,395 times
Reputation: 10243
We've a couple of friends (married) who both had lap-band surgery.

In addtion to having lost a great deal of weight, they're altered their eating patterns (some due to the surgery, but a lot due to healthy dietary changes such as no more soft drinks and sugar-y pseudo-fruit drinks, ice cream, baked goods).

And they now work-out and use a physical trainer. They were pretty sedentary before. While some fail with this surgery, I think this couple will succeed. Some health problems beginning to emerge
but not yet in full bloom, such as diabetes, HBP, fatty liver, scared them healthy.

So some seniors can make changes and prevent disease. But it isn't easy. These two had failed at many diets or yo-yo'd with their weight all their lives.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-04-2014, 12:13 AM
Status: "Is that all there is?" (set 16 days ago)
Location: Southeastern Pennsylvania
996 posts, read 863,228 times
Reputation: 2298
Originally Posted by LittleDolphin View Post
What's your secret to a happy retirement?
"For better or worse, but not for lunch."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-04-2014, 08:31 AM
Location: Mid-Atlantic east coast
5,371 posts, read 9,863,395 times
Reputation: 10243
Yep, there needs to be some privacy/separation...too much togetherness is not healthy.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-04-2014, 09:20 AM
Location: Loudon, TN
5,783 posts, read 4,836,241 times
Reputation: 19448
Happy early (50's) retirees here. We have pretty much the same roles we did before retirement. Since we both worked full time, we both contribute to house cleaning, each does their own laundry, I do most shopping, he does the mowing, I do the shrub trimming, he takes care of the vehicles, I cook, he does dishes. My standards have relaxed a little, but we both get in and get it done when there is a big chore. I enjoy doing joint projects like painting the deck and making a stone garden path. It gives such a sense of being in it together. We take turns being project manager, depending on who wants it done and has the vision, I guess. We spend most time together, but each have our own interests and pursue those independently. We have couple friends and people we see as individuals, alone or together. We would like to travel more, but we have two elderly (15 and 12) dogs and an unfenced yard, so unless we board the dogs, our trips are limited. I guess we will travel later.

edited to add: OUR SECRET...don't sweat the small stuff. Life is too short to waste it being angry over something we won't care about a month from now. Let it go... DH says sometimes that he can't believe we live this life. I think that might be the real secret...being amazed and grateful daily for the good life we have.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-04-2014, 10:06 AM
3,118 posts, read 1,722,097 times
Reputation: 3507
nice thread!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-05-2014, 03:54 PM
Location: Mid-Atlantic east coast
5,371 posts, read 9,863,395 times
Reputation: 10243
Personally, I've found it takes some effort/compromise to mesh beautifully together after retirement.

We've worked out that we each take turns being "boss." We take turns in where we want to go on vacations. We divide up the household chores equally so neither of us feel put-upon and unequal in our work. We stick to our passions/talents with some spill over such as unloading the dishwasher, doing laundry.

As I'm more social and more a people person than my DH, I've found volunteer work and various other get-togethers (book club, writing group, yoga) to fulfill that social need.

The one big surprise for me/us was how much cooking (and grocery shopping) is involved when you're home full time. We don't eat out too often because it's often pricey and not-so-healthy nutrition-wise. When we had corporate careers, we ate out a lot...too tired (or lazy) to shop and cook many nights.

Luckily, we have a pretty good Chinese place a block from our home and sometimes have "Chefs NIght Off" by ordering pick-up from them. Othewrise, except for the occasional pizza or Thai meal, (and entertaining in-home with another couple), we splurge 1-2 times a year on a great gourmet feast at a top restaurant to celebrate a birthday and our anniversary.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-06-2014, 05:34 PM
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,868 posts, read 14,377,315 times
Reputation: 30751
We are find and dandy. We relocated two years ago, but have been retired for 8 years. I never want to work again, and since I am 68, I imagine I would never be hired anyway.

We began sharing household duties before we moved, although we did have house cleaners come in every 4 weeks. Since we don't have that happening here, we had to take on more stuff ourselves. DH cleans the kitchen, and usually does the hardwoods and vacuuming. I mop the kitchen floor, dust, decorate a bit and cook. DH has taken to grilling now that he treated himself to a good grill. We each clean one bathroom.

It is interesting to me that I act as the "vision" person for some tasks, giving direction to DH. And he acts as the "vision" person for other tasks. For instance, I have pushed hard to make our back yard pleasant. He keeps tab of vehicle service and our investments. I decide when and how to decorate, and have major input on our trips, which he has started planning--a job I used to do. Its all interesting.

Today I was outside pruning shrubs. He mowed the lawn. Somehow we do what we need to.

Really these years are proving to be very kind to us. If we can just maintain our health. As another poster said upthread, you can't make up for decades of neglect in that area. But I feel that I have hit my stride with exercise in these latter years. We both take our health seriously.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-09-2014, 11:09 AM
3,945 posts, read 3,262,973 times
Reputation: 11315
I'm 70 and newly married, so, we have built a new life for both of us from the beginning of our retirement. Having no past between us is at times a strain for both (memories of the past) given that we are both over 70. Our friends are long time couples and our newlywed lifestyle seems out of place at times. As for our chores around the house we have a maid service do a lot of the heavy lifting re: cleaning the home. Mostly we have allowed ourselves the luxury of a great daily experience as a couple, and loving every day of it..Retirement is really about time and the fact that we can now choose how we spend that time, I make no judgements as to how each does that....
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.

Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top