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Old 08-06-2014, 11:05 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,141,087 times
Reputation: 22373

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Travelassie View Post
Sounds like you've got things moving in the right direction, Ani. And IMO, too, counseling might well be a good idea with everything you and your husband are dealing with. A counselor won't tell you anything you don't already know instinctively, but he/she can put in perspectives you may not have thought about.

That and the time, when you're able, for some good old fashioned visits with your girlfriends over lunch, to maintain some perspective in that regard..

for both you and your husband.
Thank you, Travelassie! I am so pleased that hubby recognizes he is "not himself." He was able to verbalize that and it was the encouragement I needed. We will get things back on track. I appreciate your caring and your support -- and listening to my vent(s).
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Old 08-06-2014, 11:09 AM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,164 posts, read 8,687,150 times
Reputation: 6164
Smile Couldn't rep you - had done that before

Ani:
Prayers for you and your husband. You seem to handle so much.
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Old 08-06-2014, 11:14 AM
 
3,090 posts, read 1,717,042 times
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Quote:
I had to provide him with two lists, one list for items we needed, and the other list for a 'DO NOT BUY AND I MEAN IT NO MATTER HOW GOOD A SALE IT'S ON WE HAVE ENOUGH TO CHOKE A HORSE" items.
OMG, this is such a great idea! thank your husband for me :-) i have to remember to make that list next time he goes shopping, anywhere. he cannot resist bargains no matter we need it or not. the other day he turned up with 10 LB of potatoes - for the 2 of us and i rarely cook them. i set it out in the garage, i have no room in the pantry. i might put it in his car trunk LOL.
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Old 08-06-2014, 01:55 PM
 
Location: SoCal desert
8,093 posts, read 13,225,721 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cb2008 View Post
OMG, this is such a great idea! thank your husband for me :-) i have to remember to make that list next time he goes shopping, anywhere. he cannot resist bargains no matter we need it or not. the other day he turned up with 10 LB of potatoes - for the 2 of us and i rarely cook them. i set it out in the garage, i have no room in the pantry. i might put it in his car trunk LOL.
You could try making vodka?
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Old 08-06-2014, 03:25 PM
 
Location: in the miseries
3,302 posts, read 3,577,670 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Travelassie View Post
That or you put it in perspective.
I am pretty laid back.
But 37 years of perspective?
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Old 08-06-2014, 07:43 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,141,087 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post
Ani:
Prayers for you and your husband. You seem to handle so much.
Thank you for the prayers - very much appreciated. (((hugs))) We will get through this and I have faith the years ahead will be just as fulfilling and happy as the years behind us.
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Old 08-06-2014, 07:54 PM
 
526 posts, read 741,191 times
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not what to do, but how to do it.......
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Old 08-07-2014, 09:04 AM
 
6,293 posts, read 3,566,992 times
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Maybe it's true that we devolve as we age. The really heated discussions used to be about time, sex, money.

Now they're about "You're not the boss of me!"
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Old 08-07-2014, 09:35 AM
 
Location: in the miseries
3,302 posts, read 3,577,670 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cb2008 View Post
OMG, this is such a great idea! thank your husband for me :-) i have to remember to make that list next time he goes shopping, anywhere. he cannot resist bargains no matter we need it or not. the other day he turned up with 10 LB of potatoes - for the 2 of us and i rarely cook them. i set it out in the garage, i have no room in the pantry. i might put it in his car trunk LOL.
They might grow in his trunk and you'll have to sell them
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Old 08-07-2014, 09:37 AM
 
Location: in the miseries
3,302 posts, read 3,577,670 times
Reputation: 3810
Quote:
Originally Posted by animalcrazy View Post
luvmyhoss have you tried marriage counseling? Maybe he needs to sit down with someone and discuss what's bothering him. He may be thinking about his own mortality and could be anxious. I see it all the time with my patients. Health issues often create very difficult times. It's much easier to project those negative emotions on the person closet to you then it is to grab the bull by the horn and face your demons. It helped us once when John went through some kind of midlife crises. The evil twin was unbearable. We were good for a couple of years until the evil twin took over again. I gave him a healthy dose of what life would be like if we lived without each other and that banished the evil win for good. You can't do that to someone who is sick. When he gets crabby give him a lolly and a hug instead.
I've been to counseling but not BH. Says he doesn't need it.
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