U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 08-08-2014, 11:52 AM
 
Location: in the miseries
3,302 posts, read 3,584,621 times
Reputation: 3810

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by animalcrazy View Post
Oh oh one of those. Stubborn children aren't they sometimes. Does he realize that you're unhappy?
He's quite oblivious to things that don't bother him.

I've allowed him to be the boss of me for too long
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 08-09-2014, 12:05 PM
 
Location: Chicago area
14,425 posts, read 7,942,539 times
Reputation: 53554
I understand luvmyhoss. I created the evil twin when John and I were having problems. I tend to spoil everyone and everything in my inner circle. His job was hard and I did everything in my power to make his life easier and at the expense of my happiness. Reversing it was not an easy thing and talking about it did nothing. I understand about the oblivious part all too well. The only thing that worked for us was our time apart and the fact that we still deeply loved each other. Sometimes men need a ton of bricks to fall on their head before they "get it." Finding the right ton of bricks takes a bit of creative thinking. I know he's not well now and that creates an even bigger problem, especially when thoughts of your own mortality creep in. I hope you find a way to communicate. We just don't think alike in many ways do we.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-09-2014, 02:13 PM
 
Location: in the miseries
3,302 posts, read 3,584,621 times
Reputation: 3810
Quote:
Originally Posted by animalcrazy View Post
I understand luvmyhoss. I created the evil twin when John and I were having problems. I tend to spoil everyone and everything in my inner circle. His job was hard and I did everything in my power to make his life easier and at the expense of my happiness. Reversing it was not an easy thing and talking about it did nothing. I understand about the oblivious part all too well. The only thing that worked for us was our time apart and the fact that we still deeply loved each other. Sometimes men need a ton of bricks to fall on their head before they "get it." Finding the right ton of bricks takes a bit of creative thinking. I know he's not well now and that creates an even bigger problem, especially when thoughts of your own mortality creep in. I hope you find a way to communicate. We just don't think alike in many ways do we.
We don't either.
He has a medical issue which requires me to administer medication twice a day.
He says he can't do it himself so I can't disappear even overnight.

You'd think this would factor in in his thinking
, but it doesn't.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-09-2014, 06:02 PM
 
Location: Columbia SC
9,002 posts, read 7,770,007 times
Reputation: 12234
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmyhoss View Post
My BH is an incredible back seat driver.
I guess I must be deaf, dumb and blind.
At home I'm always hearing ' turn the light out' AND I haven't left the bathroom yet.
Does your spouse?
It is more an issue when they are saying turn the light off and it is already off.....LOL
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-11-2014, 08:28 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,212,814 times
Reputation: 22375
Quote:
Originally Posted by johngolf View Post
It is more an issue when they are saying turn the light off and it is already off.....LOL
Yes, I would say so, lololol (and that laughter is somewhat rueful!)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-14-2014, 06:16 PM
 
3,145 posts, read 1,734,316 times
Reputation: 3520
Quote:
Originally Posted by animalcrazy View Post
luvmyhoss have you tried marriage counseling? Maybe he needs to sit down with someone and discuss what's bothering him.
The hard part is finding the right counselor, isn't it? after 30, 40 years of marriage sometimes you wonder if it is even worth it. if one has not learnt by then how to make the other happy, then one is just not, or has stopped, trying. what good is counseling going to do? i am not commenting on any particular poster but just thinking aloud.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-15-2014, 05:05 AM
 
Location: in the miseries
3,302 posts, read 3,584,621 times
Reputation: 3810
Probably comes under 'can't teach an old dog new tricks'
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-15-2014, 05:08 AM
 
16,437 posts, read 19,155,288 times
Reputation: 9520
Quote:
Originally Posted by BayAreaHillbilly View Post
I don't have to wait, it's already happening even before retirement.
Yeah, I thought that was what marriage was all about. After 37 years I'm pretty well trained.

"If a man spoke in the woods, and no woman was there to hear him, would he still be wrong?"
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-15-2014, 05:10 AM
 
Location: in the miseries
3,302 posts, read 3,584,621 times
Reputation: 3810
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bideshi View Post
Yeah, I thought that was what marriage was all about. After 37 years I'm pretty well trained.

"If a man spoke in the woods, and no woman was there to hear him, would he still be wrong?"
An unqualified yes!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-15-2014, 11:42 AM
 
Location: Florida
4,103 posts, read 4,283,493 times
Reputation: 10056
Wow these must certainly be generational differences. Im 29 and my wife is 27. Im always giving her orders and instructions on the weekend...but its usually "Would you put that down and get in this pool and float with me!" or "When you get off work I expect you to be laying in the hammock, Ive got dinner."

I in no way treat my wife like my employee.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top