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But figuring out what they want to do, and what will make them most satisfied, happy, fulfilled, feeling productive, having a sense of accomplishments, or content is the difficult question for some.
It's not an easy thing for some people to figure it out. And clearly the OP does not want to make a large wrong decision, such as no longer working, if working for years to come is a better decision for him.
Also for some people, hobbies sometimes feel like somewhat vacant time-fillers as compared with their meaningful work.
Last edited by matisse12; 06-27-2017 at 02:50 PM..
There are some things that I'm curious about, and the first is what does your wife think? Does she miss traveling because you're too busy working to take a vacation? Do you do things on your days off (although working those hours you probably have no time off). What is your relationship like?
When you own your family company it's your baby; your pride and joy. You sound like you enjoy working and love your company. As I've asked, what does your wife think? How does she feel?
I have a very close friend who also owns a family business. But, they have a great manager and they take time off for vacations and family events. She retired a couple of years ago and he will retire in a few years. Since they don't have family to take it over, they will sell it. It's their retirement money. Hopefully, the business stays strong, as it has all these years. But, they absolutely take vacations and time off together. In fact, although it's open 7 days a week, they both took one day off a week together while the manager ran it so they always had that day together. They made it work, but their marriage and family came first.
You are lucky that you love it. I find people that start and own their own business are usually very happy (if it's a success). If it isn't, the stress is overwhelming.
Since you work for youself, stick with it. As an earlier poster said, back off a little and hire a part timer to help out. Beats you working part time for Skippy the supervisor, just to keep busy in retirement.
OP, I'm thinking your wife (and perhaps your kids too) must have been terribly lonely with you working all those hours. Unless they are independent people who don't like to interact much with others. If she has actually asked you to retire, maybe there is a reason why.
And about the theory people always quote about people retiring and dying soon after...is it possible that a whole lot of people work until their health is so bad they can't continue to work, and when they die it isn't because they retired, but because their health was bad in the first place. I'll bet there's a lot of that.
You are lucky if your health is still good after working the hours you did all these years.
I guess I'm different. I don't have to have anything specific to do all the time. If I putter around taking care of the house, or reading a book or planting a bush in the garden, I'm content. I think people have forgotten how to just BE and be content unless they're running around doing something. I know I'm going to love retirement.
I laugh reading this because I'm married to a man like you.
My husband is a doctor who loved his work and patients. Long story and I won't go into it all.
Worked in private practice and hospital. Always said he'd retire when they took him out in a body bag.
He wasn't kidding!
Loved his work, his patients and teaching. Couldn't imagine ever retiring.
I thought of myself as a single mother, raising our kids basically on my own. He worked hours which were crazy with ER calls and emergencies. Me and the kids rarely saw him.
At age 72 the hospital mandatory retirement kicked in. He was devastated. I as thrilled and thought he's finally retiring.
No, he announced he was opening a office near the hospital so his private patients could see him outside the hospital (he had an office in the hospital).
This cost a lot of money while we were drawing down on his retirement account. But we set up an office and his patients all came. He loved them like family. A few were in their 90's.
I thought it would be easier on him as he wouldn't have ER call at the hospital. It wasn't.
At age 74, he had a heart attack suddenly. No prior history of heart problems. Luckily he recovered and immediately went back to work. I was a total wreck.
Think of your wife, your children. Even though our children were grown and independent, they cared about their father.
My husband finally gave up at age 78 when he started having memory problems. I believe the drugs he had to take for his heart caused this but it didn't matter, he needed to retire.
So he didn't go out in a body bag.
He always loved photography, never pursued it but started getting involved in it in a big way. Joined some photo groups and met many people. Being competitive he entered his photos in competitions and won. He then found people who would buy his photos.
He maintains his medical license because, who knows? He's now 85 and doing fine. I do think he misses what he did and probably has suffered some depression from lack of his love of medicine. But he's doing fine.
I have a number. If / when I meet that number, I can consider retirement. At that time, if it ever arrives, I will look at taxes, my own life, other factors ... then make a decision whether or not to quit. Even if I decide not to quit, once I meet my number and the taxes etc are within a certain set of bounds, I probably will be very likely to quit sooner rather than later after that point.
You need to find something, anything to do. How about some traveling with your OH?
As suggested, try semi retiring as you hire some people to do the work you do.
I can't believe nothing but work work work can make you satisfied.
Just because others worked till the day they died ahead of you doesn't mean you have to too.
Otherwise, your spouse will see you as rigid and high and mighty in your decision to not include your OH's thoughts and feelings too, and I'd want to divorce you just for being so pigheaded! Then you might just HAVE to work so you can pay me alimony and half the assets of the business!
Be willing to discuss it, try semi retiring, do some traveling and find/try some things, then you may have a foot to stand on in your argument if you've at least tried.
How do you know you won't like golf if you've never tried it? Model railroading? Sports for seTniors? Senior center activities? Traveling? Building a retirement home hands on?
Retirement is NOT all about sitting around watching the boob tube.
Make the decision TOGETHER, not just getting your way!
Or else " you have been served(with divorce papers) may be the next thing your OH says to you.
Update: still working and commuting monthly. One of the businesses is scheduled to close at end of the year (retail store). I will continue to run our wholesale entity for the foreseeable future. Still no hobbies or plans after the final move to NC in 4 to 5 years (age 75?)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Perryinva
Y'all do realize you are giving advice to the OP of an almost 3 year old thread, right? Haven't seen the OP post since then.....
OP came back to update us. Still alive and kicking.
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