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Old 08-23-2014, 05:25 AM
 
1,139 posts, read 793,942 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmyhoss View Post
My parents moved into a studio so there was NO room at the inn.

We were just having that conversation, as we moved recently and are currently renting. We are planning to buy our last house. Many incentives to go "small"...I want to pay it off before we are 62, not interested in cleaning and maintaining a big house, and...don't want it big enough for extra occupants.
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Old 08-23-2014, 05:34 AM
 
35,108 posts, read 40,356,763 times
Reputation: 62071
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmyhoss View Post
My parents moved into a studio so there was NO room at the inn.

Friends of ours ended up moving to a different state because he took a job offer.
They have 5 children, one is in and out of prison, alcoholic, drug user so he is out of their home to never return, one of them is disabled and he will live with them until they die, the other 3 are not in their home but only because they moved out of state.
They also took one of their grandchildren with them because her step father was getting more and more aggressive with her.

Anyway, they bought a mobile home in a mobile home court that has 4 bedrooms, one for their grand daughter, one for the disabled son, one for her sewing room that is jam packed completely full because she is an avid quilter and one for themselves.
There in no room at their Inn either.

When/if the other children go to visit, they have to stay in a hotel which means they have to pay for it which means they don't visit often...LOL
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Old 08-23-2014, 06:10 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,538,376 times
Reputation: 29083
When we retired and moved to a new state we bought a modest, three-bedroom home. One bedroom is ours, another is my "office" and the other was slated to be a guest room with an antique, full bedroom set we moved here. My oldest granddaughter and her husband just purchased their first home and she always loved that set so we're going to give it to her and in time, my wife will use that room for her yoga and meditation. Gone will be the days of a guest bedroom and there will truly be no room at the inn either.

With all the medical issues and coming surgeries my wife is facing her younger, single, childless daughter keeps saying she wants to come out here "to help her" (What am I, cardboard?). That's code for "pay my way out the 2,000 miles and let me take up permanent residence on your dime so I don't have to get a J-O-B and become self-sufficient at age 36." BTDT years ago, twice. Not happenin' on my watch ever again!
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Old 08-23-2014, 11:26 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,014,482 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
With all the medical issues and coming surgeries my wife is facing her younger, single, childless daughter keeps saying she wants to come out here "to help her" (What am I, cardboard?). That's code for "pay my way out the 2,000 miles and let me take up permanent residence on your dime so I don't have to get a J-O-B and become self-sufficient at age 36." BTDT years ago, twice. Not happenin' on my watch ever again!
Yes you often hear of adult children saying they're "going home to help mom and dad" when it's a veiled excuse to live there and collect unemployment, etc. In some cases the motivation is legit, as when both older
parents or a single parent really cannot function on their own and asst living is out of the question for financial reasons. I hope we will never need help from our grown kids, which is why our next step has to be carefully thought out.
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Old 08-23-2014, 12:09 PM
 
639 posts, read 1,747,399 times
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I know of 2 people that sold the house to get the grown child out of it.
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Old 08-23-2014, 03:40 PM
 
Location: Columbia SC
9,024 posts, read 7,791,206 times
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Coming back home during a transitional period of time is one thing versus long term sponging off the folks which is an entirely different situation.
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Old 08-24-2014, 09:59 AM
 
Location: in the miseries
3,302 posts, read 3,588,562 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tibbar View Post
I know of 2 people that sold the house to get the grown child out of it.
I know people who did that, too. So sad.
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Old 08-24-2014, 11:43 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,538,376 times
Reputation: 29083
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmyhoss View Post
I know people who did that, too. So sad.
Provided they were capable of self-sufficiency (laziness, lack of motivation, etc. not viable excuses) I'd sell the child before I sold our home
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Old 08-24-2014, 12:01 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,335 posts, read 54,765,930 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tibbar View Post
I know of 2 people that sold the house to get the grown child out of it.
I knew a woman about 20 years ago who sold her house and moved just before her son got out of prison so he wouldn't find her. He was a crackhead and a thief and a general waste of a human life and she was done with him.
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Old 08-24-2014, 12:32 PM
 
Location: I am right here.
4,915 posts, read 4,083,209 times
Reputation: 15540
My kids are still in college, but all have good areas of study and have had solid, well paid internships, so I am fairly confident they will find decent jobs upon graduation. With that said, if they have gainful employment and choose to save money by living at home (assuming they would accept positions nearby my home - not likely at this point, since their areas of interest are not near me), I would allow them to do so in a heartbeat! They would have to pay their own insurance bills, phone bill portions (we're on a family plan now), etc. They'd pay towards food, do work around the house (much as they already do now when they are home for summer or holidays), etc.

I own a large home and otherwise, the space goes unused, so if they would want to use it, all the power to them. I have zero interest in moving, as I live in a wonderful neighborhood and my job is a few miles away - walkable if wanted, but I usually have too much stuff to carry back and forth, so I drive.

I would not allow them to be lazy, playing video games all day. They'd have to be employed or actively looking for employment for this to work.
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