Live TO retirement (spouse, marriage, state, vacation)

[grandmallie]

just throwing this out there,I am soon to be 48 and just lost my 49 year old very sucessful boss to a massive heart attack, a sucessful dentist with at least 3000 regular patients
we are all in a state of shock and confusion, and there are alot of what ifs.
He left behind a thriving practice, a beautiful wife and 2 teenage boys
I just hope most of us can make it past something like this and make it to retirement.

[marmac]

yes, I noticed something odd in our newspaper's obituary column last week

One day there were 7 listed. The ages were as follows----------
93,91,89,------------52,51,49 ,47.

The next day there were 6 new ones listed----
83,83,-------66,66,56,52

[brightdoglover]

So I'm not the only one who checks the obits for ages and causes of death?

Without information to the contrary, I think we should expect to live an average lifespan. No one wants to be eating cheap cat food in older age. Saving for the future is like having insurance, so you have it if you need it. Yes, sometimes you have to put off something today for that saving, but I don't see people utterly deprived in the present for that amorphous future. After all, how do people sign mortgages, promise in marriage, have kids, etc., when they don't know what the future is.

[nancy thereader]

I am ashamed to admit that lately I have been checking the ages of them also. Is this human nature? I never used to do this. Sometimes I wonder, what FATE is it that allows somwon to live to be 102 ; then takes a young mother at only 34 ? I guess there is really not an answer. But, it seems so arbitrary which is another column , I am sure.

[recycled]

I took a vacation for a week earlier this month. After I returned to work, I walked in the entrance door of the building and saw a large color photo of a 48 year old co-worker surrounded by a wreath and flowers with a caption reading "In loving memory of ........". Wow, that floored me. Things like that shake me up, especially since the person in the photo was one of the last people in the office I spoke to before leaving for vacation. This guy was 5 years younger than me, he suffered some kind of stroke or anuerism while playing softball. Yes, he was a heavy guy and possibly had some medical conditions, but it still makes one realize how fragile life can be, yes, it's quite arbitrary.

[KevK]

In the Atlanta paper I often see young people listed in the obits- sometimes 1/3rd of then are people under 60 and they often have pictures of them but they almost never say what they died from. Sometimes you can kind of guess if it says "in lieu of flowers the family request a donation to Cancer Society" but often you just are left to wonder why the person died so young.

[grandmallie]

My boss was a sweetheart of a man, but he pushed himself,he took care of his family , his staff,his friends, but not himself
he was overwieght , had high bp, and high cholesterol, didnt eat right, and didnt exercise.and to think he went to college on a football scholarship.
he did live life to its fullest thats for sure, but to leave at 49, its just so sad, for us , for him, and his family
I dread the wake and funeral,he had a big family and a slew of patients and friends, when you grow up in a small town like we did, it will be HUGE

[Ellwood]

My motto is "everyday is a gift." As I near early retirement I see so many coworkers and friends pass away, who were the "picture of health." After a life threatening illness of my spouse, we realized it could all be gone in a moment, so we are living life to the fullest and by our motto.

[brightdoglover]

Over time, at 54, I have lost come co-workers and at least one friend befor their time. It's just a reminder that it comes to us all. Plan as if you'll live to 100, live as if it's your last day. And most of the time, it'll fall somewhere in between.
I am glad I took a trekking trip to Nepal (on credit) when I was 42. Shortly after that, I had a bad back injury (AT WORK) and would never take such a trip again. Come to think of it, I didn't enjoy it all that much (what I remember of it- can you say "altitude?") so I'm glad I knocked off that daydream, as I knocked off most daydreams. I feel fortunate to have lived a life where I could do my daydreams and they are gone, as most of them weren't what I hoped or expected, and I don't have "if only" in my head. Some things really are only doable at certain stages in life or certain levels of health, etc.
I can understand how someone could be oriented very differently, if spending decades in some career or job, especially if raising kids and having to stay in harness no matter what. Of course, I have no idea what the rewards of being a parent are, but have been willing to pass on finding out, whereas someone who has raised and launched children to adulthood might well have a long list of other things to focus on.