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Old 09-08-2014, 07:04 PM
 
Location: Near a river
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
When I was young, I worked in banking and saw more than one elderly couple ruined financially after one of them became subject to long term care.
One does not have to be married to be ruined financially by long term care. How does being single help?
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Old 09-08-2014, 08:08 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
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I figured some one would bring up the health issue. And it makes sense. I've been thinking about it.

If my live in gets sick, they can take his assets but not mine. Because we are not married there is no community property. Yet we could still be joint tenants on the house so if I die, the home goes to him. I think neither of us can be ruined because the other gets sick and requires some sort of LTC.

After reading the replies I am thinking marriage is a losing proposition for older people. One thing that really hasn't been discussed is how much SS benefits you lose by getting married.
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Old 09-08-2014, 08:10 PM
 
2,421 posts, read 3,727,406 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Petunia 100 View Post
Well, if you were planning to draw half of your ex-spouse's benefit, remarrying takes that option off the table. Unless you divorce again.
You need to have been married ten years or more to be entitled to your spouses SS. benefits when they die.

As far as owning a house jointly if one requires long term care, if you are talking about medicaid, they can recoup some of the money after the second spouse dies by taking the house and any equity it holds after the spouse living in the home dies.

It is very important to find out all the nuances of the state you live in before considering marriage. If you are "in love", you are not thinking clearly, and need the advise of an attorney who can look at things very objectively and give you good financial advise. There can be a lot of joint liability when you are married. However, a well drafted living will can eliminate some of this and protect ones assets, while still having some of the positive aspects of marriage.

But if you don't have any assets and are just combining forces (and income) to make retirement living easier, that's a horse of a different color too. I would always recommend living together for four years before considering marriage anyway. It takes about four years statistically for problems in a marriage to surface sufficiently.
But there is practicality in doing this as long as you can get along and be happy.

I once had a tenant who was married for over 40 years when he lost his wife. He had only just buried her about three months before going up North to visit with family and friends. (he was in his 60's and had a very limited income) He came back after being up North a few weeks with a new wife. He married his wife's best friend. I did believe that it was a marriage of financial convenience for both of them. But they seemed to get along well, so why not. I should add financial as well as for companionship.

Who knows. Maybe sex too. I was too young to think of her as a hot tamale.

Last edited by modhatter; 09-08-2014 at 08:44 PM..
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Old 09-08-2014, 08:22 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Travelassie View Post
I know two couples who married after age 60- with one couple, it was the guy's first marriage ( in his late 60's!) and the lady had been widowed for several years. The second couple had each been widowed for a number of years. They seem very happy and I couldn't say what it cost them.

As for Social Security, apparently the applicable widow(ers)' benefits continue for each party if they (re)marry after age 60, so there is no loss of the SS income in that regard. The SS administration has written an interesting paper on the topic, which describes a number of scenarios and answers questions.


Widows Waiting to Wed? (Re)Marriage and Economic Incentives in Social Security Widow Benefits

That's just Social Security. There are many other issues in second marriages in which the spouses have assets built up over a lifetime, heirs, etc etc etc.... those are completely individual in nature, and whether there are "losers" and "winners" in individual scenarios just depend on a whole lot of other things.

I can't imagine myself re-marrying in the event something happened to me husband, but that's me.
Interesting study!
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Old 09-08-2014, 09:25 PM
 
6,325 posts, read 3,586,130 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowsnow View Post

/After reading the replies I am thinking marriage is a losing proposition for older people./
More so for women, perhaps, than for men. Married men tend to live longer than single ones. The statistics are reversed for women.

(No need to mention the old joke about it only seems longer. )
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Old 09-09-2014, 12:34 PM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
37,144 posts, read 45,685,601 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
One does not have to be married to be ruined financially by long term care. How does being single help?
If I am not married to a partner who has a long term illness, then my assets are not depleted in order to pay for their care.
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Old 09-09-2014, 02:33 PM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,766 posts, read 7,050,021 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
One does not have to be married to be ruined financially by long term care. How does being single help?
It doesn't, of course. But I think the point of the thread was marriages in one's "golden years". If someone marries their romantic interest, the financial issues become the responsibility of both parties. If they just live together, and don't marry, the financial issues remain the responsibility of the party who incurred them.
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Old 09-09-2014, 03:35 PM
 
Location: Idaho
4,634 posts, read 4,477,565 times
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Thank you all for your thoughts on this matter. The posts have been an eye-opener. At 63, I have contemplated re-marriage. However, after reading this thread, I don't think it would be a very good idea for me.
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Old 09-09-2014, 05:34 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,506,246 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Red On The Noodle View Post
What about it one spouse gets very sick, needs long term care, and it wipes out both parties' assets? If you're not married, then you don't have to worry about that. Correct?
Perhaps not legally but morally...
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Old 09-09-2014, 05:41 PM
 
Location: The Triad (NC)
28,527 posts, read 62,253,689 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
If I am not married to a partner who has a long term illness, then my assets are not
(forced by law to be) depleted in order to pay for their care.
But if you're involved with -living a life with- -sharing a home and laundry basket with-
someone who then has a medical condition arise which requires effort beyond making
a pot of chicken soup to remedy... choices that transcend money will have to be made.

Having something to base those choices on clearly articulated in advance will help.
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