Where? Are you undecided? Where to "retire" before retirement? (beach, weather)

[bluecarebear]

I can't decide on a location. I have done a ton of research and have experience living across the country. I am still reasonably young and would like to find a forever home. A place to finally settle down. Do you have the same problem? Can't lock down a particular city?

I have moved a lot in my life and would like to only do another major move one last time. I want to be established by retirement age. But stuck on making a decision.

[RiverBird]

How many years till retirement?

Alone or with partner/family?

Will you be able to escape a summer or a winter?

[bluecarebear]

Decades

Alone

Live in a winter climate and I don't mind a little snow.

[MrRational]

Originally Posted by bluecarebear

I am still reasonably young and would like to find a forever home.
A place to finally settle down.

These are VERY different motivations.

I have moved a lot in my life and would like to only do another major move one last time.

And this is yet another --even more-- conflicting motivation

I want to be established by retirement age.

Focus on being able to make these choices and that one last move ...AT retirement age
Trying to wrap it all up into one neat bundle? Not real practical.

Odds are that anywhere that would really suit *in retirement**
will be a more difficult economy to earn whats needed to afford that retirement.
Earn the needed cash. THEN decide how to spend it.

[bluecarebear]

I want to find one last place. I don't want to invest 30 years somewhere and then start all over again.

Do you find that conflicting?

[jghorton]

42-years ago, we decided to move to Florida ... where the weather was always warm and sunny and we could live near the beach. My rationale was and remains, "Why wait many years until retirement ... to finally live where one really wants to live?" We actually lived in four Florida cities over the years, and never regretted the move.

Instead of trying to narrow your search to a particular city, why not start with a region or state ... based on weather, employment or other criteria. Then gradually narrow down the cities in that area to those best meeting your second-tier criteria? (If you truly want to live in 'Hawaii', there is no sense investigating every city between Seattle and Miami).

[Montanama]

I do have the same problem, except that I haven't moved around a lot, rather stayed in a location we weren't thrilled with for the sake of a career and ended up never leaving...So for all these years we have been looking for a place to call "home"..... eventually. We do travel quite a bit and have always had a pretty good idea of where we'd enjoy living now, but retirement is a different thing. Meantime, of course, our children see the place we live now as their home. So it's complicated and feels, as I've said before, like such high stakes to me.

I feel like the "home" we choose for retirement (which we, too, would like to be settled in at least part time before retirement) just HAS to be right, since in my mind it's my first and last chance to be in a place that feels like home to me, where I will feel a sense of belonging. (We live in a pleasant place that many would dream of retiring to! Just not my thing, never has felt like home to me, though we've built a nice life here and enjoyed what the area has to offer.)

Wanting to be near/available to our kids (still in school) and grandkids someday is one wrinkle, but as many here note, we can't know where they will be or how long they'll stay.

Wanting to be near the ocean (actually at the beach), which I would most prefer, is questionable in terms of affordability, practicality, and...humidity! My perfect location would have a large city an hour away, affordable beachfront property, and low humidity. And no bugs. If someone knows where that is, let me know!

I don't know if I'm completely ready to abandon a 4 seasons climate, since I've never really had one and always wanted to (Montana is a 2-or-3 season climate, lol. There is no "spring" here as people know it elsewhere. We occasionally have a long, lovely autumn but as often see an abrupt beginning to winter. We don't have the fall colors some areas enjoy.)

So we're all over the map, literally. For now we have a vacation home/future retirement home in Phoenix so that I can escape the snow and cold as needed (and at this point in my life the sun on my skin is something I NEED). The desert is lovely and I can take the weather there year-round. We chose Phoenix because it's one of a very few places to which we have quick, convenient air access, and the housing was within our budget for a small second home. We didn't really envision it as our home base so much as a backup option.

Next spring and summer we'll visit Florida (probably panhandle Gulf Coast) and North Carolina to check out some beach locations....I think Florida may be too humid, and NC may be too isolated.

I honestly feel panicked about it sometimes, like I'm running out of time to find a home to be settled in--very overdramatic I know, but after biding my time for 25 years I'm ready to settle my brain and my body in the place I want to stay!!

I do envy those who are able to "go with the flow" and just "see where we end up." I'm more of a planner, and on this particular topic I feel like there is a "right answer" out there somewhere that I'll find if I just keep looking hard enough.

Meantime I need to remember I have a life to live *today*! Here and now.

I want to find one last place. I don't want to invest 30 years somewhere and
then start all over again.

I do think this is a reasonable concern, depending on who you are. It's what I did, and I wish I hadn't. It's not the worst thing that can happen--you can always find that "home" in retirement, but I do understand wanting to settle now in a place you want to stay permanently.

[MrRational]

Originally Posted by bluecarebear

I don't want to invest 30 years somewhere and then start all over again.
Do you find that conflicting?

The desire... no. The expectation and pique and not achieving it?
Yes. That's an adolescent and immature expectation.

Focus on being the best and happiest 30something that you can be.
Think about how that might prepare you to be a happy 40something.

Don't even think about what being a 60something might mean until you are one.
Well, at least not beyond saving and investing well so you'll have more choices.

[bluecarebear]

Thank you. You have all given me great advice and choices to mull over. Montanama and Jghorton, I can relate to you both. This is what I was looking for.

[Montanama]

Originally Posted by MrRational

The desire... no. The expectation and pique and not achieving it?
Yes. That's an adolescent and immature expectation.

Focus on being the best and happiest 30something that you can be.
Think about how that might prepare you to be a happy 40something.

Don't even think about what being a 60something might mean until you are one.
Well, at least not beyond saving and investing well so you'll have more choices.

I don't know. I'm not sure it's as much a maturity thing (which to some degree it certainly is) as a personality thing. Some people need to feel settled. Some people might have the "goal" of building a life somewhere they want to stay--and have the desire to look back on the bulk of their life having been lived in one physical spot.

I agree that being happy in the here and now is priority number one. Focusing on being stable and building financial security and personal experience is great advice. On the other hand, there are certain dreams that can slip away if one constantly says, "I'll deal with that later, I'm doing this now." Doing the "now" is certainly most important. But having the desire to plan ahead for certain dreams and goals which are defined by time itself is not unreasonable nor immature IF one is not approaching it frivolously, or compromising building a strong foundation in the process. IMO

I have learned from my own experience that trading what's most important for immediate security has a cost. There are always tradeoffs. I wouldn't recommend recklessly abandoning a career plan in order to indulge a fantasy of "home." On the other hand, for those for whom that "home" means a certain longevity and "settledness", I wouldn't recommend ignoring that desire solely for the sake of stacking up resources for a flexible retirement. I think there's a whole lot of ground between those two options, and for some the "where" of building a life can be pretty important.

I do believe in making the best of where you are and building toward the future. But there are some things that have to be built over time, and time imo is as valuable in such a case as any amount of money.