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Old 09-13-2014, 06:55 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
24,983 posts, read 23,891,412 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RosemaryT View Post
When my father died, many of my friends showed up to pay their respects, even though they didn't know him. I was immeasurably comforted by their thoughtfulness, their kindness and their presence.

So I do try and attend funerals, to pay back the kindness that was extended to me.

BTW, that was a real blessing because I was genuinely concerned that me and my husband would be the only two in attendance at my father's funeral. My father was in his 90s, and he didn't have any friends. More than a little sad.
The same thing happened when my dad died. Most of his friends were dead. Many of our friends--the children--showed up. It really comforted mom.
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Old 09-14-2014, 03:37 PM
 
Location: in the miseries
3,302 posts, read 3,578,241 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gerania View Post
No, I can't attend all of them. Some of them are on days or at hours which don't allow me to go. Others are out of area or state, and it's unlikely that I'll get there unless it's a family member or someone very, very close to me. I can't always attend those, either.

Send a card and write a personal sentiment. The bereaved the cards. They reread them later.
Yes that's the best, most thoughtful way.
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Old 09-15-2014, 12:02 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,147,825 times
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It all depends on the relationship and what type of service and when the wake/service is held.

I have attended all funerals for close relatives (Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents).

People I feel close to or their spouses, yes, I attend the wake and/or the funeral if at all possible.

I have noticed that in the last 20 or so years, people are not always having a formal church funeral. Sometimes, they have a graveside services. Sometimes, the burial is on one date and a Memorial Service is held a week or more later.

More and more, I am attending funerals or memorial services held at funeral homes rather than in a church, even if that person was an active church member. This has surprised me. I am not sure what that trend is all about.

I am also noticing less wakes and more of the "family will gather to greet after the memorial service/funeral" type of thing.

I am also noticing less open caskets. Also, the number of cremations has really gone up over the last 20 years as compared to traditional burials.
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Old 09-15-2014, 06:16 AM
 
Location: in the miseries
3,302 posts, read 3,578,241 times
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I have also noticed private cremations with a memorial service held months later.
In my area an urn can be placed in the grave of a direct relative. Ie grandmother, daughter, son grandson. No need to buy another plot.
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Old 02-09-2015, 10:55 AM
 
10 posts, read 7,330 times
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I do not attend any wake or funeral. Period.
I light a candle when someone crosses over, and I write some poetry to soothe myself.
Wearing black, and looking a dead person? How utterly morbid.
I did it once, the family forced me.....Saw my favorite person on Earth, in a box.... I will never attend one again.
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Old 02-09-2015, 12:51 PM
 
2,429 posts, read 3,222,625 times
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When I was younger (my 40s) I did not attend funerals for a few family members (an aunt, a cousin, and an uncle by marriage (another aunt's husband)).These were people I saw every summer growing up, and did care about. But it was avery difficult to get time off from work. So I didn't go, even though I did sort of want to, and felt I should.

But ow I'm a bit older. And now MY mom has passed away, and her brother, my uncle, just 7 weeks later. So now I'm thinking I may start to go to MORE funerals of people I've cared about. IT IS one way to have closure and be with others you love and who also cared about that person.

I always let work get in the way of going to the services. Now, I'm starting to think, going might be more important. We'll see.
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Old 02-09-2015, 01:15 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,572 posts, read 17,544,804 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rdflk View Post
When I was younger (my 40s) I did not attend funerals for a few family members (an aunt, a cousin, and an uncle by marriage (another aunt's husband)).These were people I saw every summer growing up, and did care about. But it was avery difficult to get time off from work. So I didn't go, even though I did sort of want to, and felt I should.

But ow I'm a bit older. And now MY mom has passed away, and her brother, my uncle, just 7 weeks later. So now I'm thinking I may start to go to MORE funerals of people I've cared about. IT IS one way to have closure and be with others you love and who also cared about that person.

I always let work get in the way of going to the services. Now, I'm starting to think, going might be more important. We'll see.
The funerals are a one time thing. You won't get the chance for a do-over.
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Old 02-09-2015, 01:30 PM
 
Location: Kountze, Texas
1,013 posts, read 1,158,814 times
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If a friends family member dies locally, I always go. One year I went to 3 funerals for the same friend - her mom, dad and brother within weeks/months of each other.
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