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I agree with RosemaryT...it is SO comforting when people take the time to pay their respects during a difficult time for those left behind. I try to do the same for others.
How inconsiderate is that! Sounds like several families ought to have consulted you before planning departure ceremonies, so as not to clog up your straining social calendar. And you'd think some of the deceased might have held on a little longer when other people were dropping like flies around the same time. Folks are so selfish nowadays.
These past two weeks 5 people I know died. All over 60.
I am making myself go to various wakes/funerals,
but I'm getting a bit depressed.
Where do you draw the line?
Immediate family only - parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, sister -in -law, BIL, MIL.
My SIL's father passed this week. I never met the man. My sisters are driving 300 miles to the funeral. I declined. No reason given.
I don't remember seeing them at my MIL's funeral, so we are good!
When my father died, many of my friends showed up to pay their respects, even though they didn't know him. I was immeasurably comforted by their thoughtfulness, their kindness and their presence.
Agreed 100%. Of the few things in life which are consistent, one that is is the sincere gratitude of the survivors toward those who stop by the wake or attend the funeral. Sappy though the adage is, "It shows you care" applies here.
Where I draw the line is my answer to the question, "How close were you to this individual, or to their relative who you know?" This generally gets tricky only in co-worker situations. But it's still pretty easy to figure out most of the time. If you weren't acquainted beyond knowing them "enough to say hello" it's sufficient to sign a collectively purchased card or chip in toward a gift. And at times when the survivor(s) aren't terribly familiar, going to the service or wake is the right thing to do regardless. This was in effect a few years back when a colleague of mine, who worked in a different department and barely knew me, lost his father. It was a terrible shock to this 30-ish individual, who had been close with his dad; the older man had only been diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer a few weeks before he passed. Whether or not to appear at the visitation was a no-brainer - people from the company turned out in droves.
It's curious to me that it was brought out both in the OP and subsequently that people who died were "over 60" or otherwise identified as being at or past a certain age. How is that relevant?
I have not attended a funeral since my father's in 2008. I have moved 3 times since then, so don't have a large number of friends in the area - when I was in one town for 16 years and friends family members died - I alway went to those funerals to support my friends - one lost 3 family members, brother, mom, dad within 5months of each other. Was happy to be of support to her.
How inconsiderate is that! Sounds like several families ought to have consulted you before planning departure ceremonies, so as not to clog up your straining social calendar. And you'd think some of the deceased might have held on a little longer when other people were dropping like flies around the same time. Folks are so selfish nowadays.
Actually, I had a brother who chastised me for the date that was selected for our father's funeral. I was the one arranging *everything* and it was the best date that we could get the church, the preacher, the funeral home director all together.
None of my brothers attended the funeral of our father. It was not convenient for them. Will I remember THAT for the rest of my life? Yes, and with much sadness.
I gave the eulogy, and EVERY SINGLE SOUL that I gazed upon in that audience brought me comfort.
I avoid them like the plague. I only go if immediate family and not even to all of them.
I know a couple who when their son was 2, he had already been to 5 funerals. She said quite proudly, "Poor kid is only 2 and he's been to 5 funerals already" as if it were something to be proud of. Then again, they like taking pictures of graveyards and have 18 million "cousins" so I guess anything is possible.
How inconsiderate is that! Sounds like several families ought to have consulted you before planning departure ceremonies, so as not to clog up your straining social calendar. And you'd think some of the deceased might have held on a little longer when other people were dropping like flies around the same time. Folks are so selfish nowadays.
Not the point of my comment at all.
Just how sad it all is.
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Sounds like several families ought to have consulted you before planning departure ceremonies, so as not to clog up your straining social calendar. And you'd think some of the deceased might have held on a little longer when other people were dropping like flies around the same time. Folks are so selfish nowadays.
Sarcasm dropped...
