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Old 09-11-2014, 06:37 AM
 
Location: in the miseries
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These past two weeks 5 people I know died. All over 60.
I am making myself go to various wakes/funerals,
but I'm getting a bit depressed.
Where do you draw the line?
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Old 09-11-2014, 07:01 AM
 
Location: Near a river
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I do not attend wakes. To me it's an artificial event, not a religious one. Everyone sits around dressed up, chatting it up around the deceased, unfortunately often open-casket. Heaven forbid anyone think of one for me. I am leaving strict orders for no such event.

Funerals I attend out of respect, only if local. I'm not big on large memorial services, though. Two I attended had people eulogizing the deceased who had not been loyal decent friends (with the deceased) in life. A small remembrance event with true friends is nice.
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Old 09-11-2014, 07:22 AM
 
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I attend funerals but not wakes. The family/loved ones are keenly aware of who paid their respects and showed support during their tragic time so I think it's an important thing and conveys the message that the deceased's life was indeed, important.
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Old 09-11-2014, 07:45 AM
 
Location: Columbia SC
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I avoid them like the plague. I only go if immediate family and not even to all of them.
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Old 09-11-2014, 08:13 AM
 
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, originally from SF Bay Area
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Quote:
Originally Posted by johngolf View Post
I avoid them like the plague. I only go if immediate family and not even to all of them.
Similar here, local relatives, out-of-state only of we were close at some time. We have had many in they last year or so but they were aunts/uncles 85-99 years old.
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Old 09-11-2014, 08:16 AM
 
Location: in the miseries
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hemlock140 View Post
Similar here, local relatives, out-of-state only of we were close at some time. We have had many in they last year or so but they were aunts/uncles 85-99 years old.
Three of the recent ones were high school friends that I didn't see often.
I feel guilty if I don't go.
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Old 09-11-2014, 09:13 AM
 
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I only go when I have reason to think the survivors would notice and care about my absence. Life is for the living, imo.
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Old 09-11-2014, 09:49 AM
 
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When my father died, many of my friends showed up to pay their respects, even though they didn't know him. I was immeasurably comforted by their thoughtfulness, their kindness and their presence.

So I do try and attend funerals, to pay back the kindness that was extended to me.

BTW, that was a real blessing because I was genuinely concerned that me and my husband would be the only two in attendance at my father's funeral. My father was in his 90s, and he didn't have any friends. More than a little sad.

Last edited by RosemaryT; 09-11-2014 at 10:04 AM..
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Old 09-11-2014, 09:54 AM
 
Location: East Coast
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RosemaryT View Post
When my father died, many of my friends showed up to pay their respects, even though they didn't know him. I was immeasurably comforted by their thoughtfulness, their kindness and their presence.

So I do try and attend funerals, to pay back the kindness that was extended to me.
I agree with RosemaryT...it is SO comforting when people take the time to pay their respects during a difficult time for those left behind. I try to do the same for others.
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Old 09-11-2014, 10:45 AM
 
Location: Whereever we have our RV parked
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I'd draw the line depending on how well you know them or the family. If he/she was just an acquatence or coworker or neighbor, I'd probably not bother to go. But if you know someone in the family well, then its a nice thing. Otherwise, I wouldn't feel obligated to go.
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