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Can you let the man retire first? He's not even retired and you're already worried about whether he'll sit around and do nothing.
You say you're concerned about his heath...concerns enough to get him to retire EARLY from his high stress job?
Let the man relax for at least a few months. Geez. THEN, if you see a negative outcome start suggesting you both start going out on weekends, or get a hobby.
How about dancing class? A friend of mine wanted to take ballroom classes, and I know her husband is just going because he's a good guy, and because SHE wanted to do it. HE'd have NEVER initiated it, but he does shrug his shoulders and say he likes it.
Another retired friend in her mid 70s is busier than ever taking free classes at the senior center. And she goes on the trips it sponsors.
But FIRST, let the man decompress. A friend of mine retired in March at 59 ....and it's thinking about doing anything that requires a set commitment...yet. She's busy enough with social engagements....lunch. dinner, the movies, going to a museum.
He'll figure out what he wants to do. Please leave him alone for now.
My question is, I've heard that men who retire and have a hobby or a part-time job live much longer than those who just sit around. Can someone post some real-world experience with this? Or maybe direct me to an article?
Believe it or not, mental activity is just as strenuous as physical activity - if not more so - and you can definitely burn serious calories doing this. At any rate I don't think he's in any danger right now, or even after he retires. It's apparently in his nature, and his life thus far hasn't hurt him.
The biggest problem with an underfoot husband who plans to sit around and do nothing is that they rarely do that. Every few minutes, it's, "Have you seen my ...?" "Do you know where the scissors are?"
While we were raising our kids, I would have given anything for a decent conversation with the man. Now he's Chatty Charlie.
Quote:
Originally Posted by njkate
LMAO...good one
Njkate, what do you think is funny about that post? I think it's tragic. A resentful and embittered wife dredging up grievances from the time when they were raising their children who is complaining that her husband actually talks to her. The poor guy. Just imagine that - he has the gall to be present in his own home and doesn't even take a vow of silence while there!
Rosemary, If you think Jukesgirl's thoughtful posted was somehow harsh....you haven't seen harsh. I'm sorry you feel it was over the top, but it really wasn't. Several of us think it's quite on the money.
My husband has been fantasizing about retirement for DECADES and now it's getting closer.
He's highly intelligent and has a GREAT job (litigator), but it's stressful and demanding. It's also a prestigious position, and he's at the top of the heap.
On the weekends, he sits around and does very little. Sometimes, he mows the grass. Most of the time, he watches TV or reads a book. He reads a LOT. He sits for hours, not even stirring.
He swears up and down that when he retires, he's just going to sit around and LOAF, as in do absolutely nothing. And some might say, "Oh, he'll get bored with that."
I don't think so. He prides himself in his "zen-like ability" to sit in one spot for long, long periods of time.
After seven days of vacation at home, I can honestly report that he really is content to sit around like a bump on a log and do absolutely NOT ONE THING.
My question is, I've heard that men who retire and have a hobby or a part-time job live much longer than those who just sit around. Can someone post some real-world experience with this? Or maybe direct me to an article?
I'm desperate to motivate him to go find something to DO rather than sit around. Plus, I work from home and he will drive me to hard liquor if he's underfoot 24/7.
Thanks.
My first instinct is to tell you to leave him alone.
You might gently remind him of all the passions he had in life when he was....oh....20. Surely, he did not stop having outside interests when he became an attorney and got married. The young man, and the young man's passions still lurk beneath the surface. Gently help him scratch it and remind him about them. This is his chance in life to do what he never had the time to do when he was supporting a family.
Njkate, what do you think is funny about that post? I think it's tragic. A resentful and embittered wife dredging up grievances from the time when they were raising their children who is complaining that her husband actually talks to her. The poor guy. Just imagine that - he has the gall to be present in his own home and doesn't even take a vow of silence while there!
You apparently have no sense of humor!!
Wifey doesn't even remotely sound embittered to me
My 56 year old hubby will be retiring in January. We have had this conversation often. He is incredibly active and high-energy when it comes to doing things...unless a football or baseball game is on tv! I also work from home and have strong reasons to fear his looming retirement. He is constantly asking me where to find things that he has misplaced or sharing odd news stories when I am trying to work. I had to learn to work around him.
My office is my space and I try to alert him to the times when I cannot be disturbed. I have no doubt that he will return to going to the gym on a daily basis, but I will need to schedule my own at-home workout during this time because he has a bad habit of interrupting my timed workouts.
Our plan for January is to purchase another rental or two that he and his brother can remodel. In addition to providing additional income, it will also give him the opportunity to work only for himself. Although we have always had side businesses, he has always worked a regular job for the benefits. This will be a nice perk for him and he'll be able to work at whatever pace is most comfortable for him. It will get him out of the house and allow him some bonding time with his brother, since he doesn't have many close friends. We also plan to purchase a snowbird house in Florida. He knows that for three or four months each year, he won't have an active work schedule...unless he wants one. If he were to decide to pick up short term employment somewhere, then that is his right. We each want to enjoy retirement. I plan to teach online classes for a few universities and I'm in school now to gain the necessary credentials for my field.
This wasn't something that I planned out for him, rather it is a plan that we came up with together. I told him stories about how awful it was when my dad retired during my senior year of high school and the friction that existed between my parents when I moved out to go to college because my newly-retired mother was trying to find her niche at home, too.
I asked him to tell me about how he envisioned retirement. He named a few places that he'd like to travel to and I encouraged him (rather than me) to do the trip planning for those vacations. I didn't want to know about the special days when we might be on vacation, but the ordinary days when we would be at home. Years ago, he had worked evenings and we always enjoyed cooking a big meal for lunch together. (The kids always got the leftovers for dinner!)We decided that it would be fun to do that again. He managed to come up with a few classes that he'd like to take and the desire to set up a real workshop area. These are the things that will keep me from having to kill him in retirement and keep him from having to kill me!
On the weekends, he sits around and does very little. Sometimes, he mows the grass. Most of the time, he watches TV or reads a book. He reads a LOT. He sits for hours, not even stirring.
My question is, I've heard that men who retire and have a hobby or a part-time job live much longer than those who just sit around. Can someone post some real-world experience with this? Or maybe direct me to an article?
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