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Most of us do not use our real names, but a few people do. As a policy I have always tried to avoid giving out any identifying information, just to be on the safe side. My City-Data profile is not restricted to "friends", and it contains more information than most people's profiles, but again, nothing that I think would lead to anyone identifying me, except perhaps a professional detective with lots of patience and lots of time.
On several occasions I have politely declined to exchange personal email addresses, as I think the direct message system here is just fine for communication outside of the open forum. While I hope that refusal did not offend anyone, I really can't be sure about that. Exactly one other poster has my email address, and that is also the only poster with whom I have met up in person. We live almost 2,000 miles from each other, and for some reason I simply trusted that person fully.
The problem with making our real name public, as I see it, is that it would give people our street address as well, through an internet white pages search.
After four and a half years of reading and posting in this Retirement Forum, I feel I "know" quite a few people. And I think 98% of you are nice folks with a sense of integrity. But it is the other 2% that bother me. (O.K., I really don't know what the exact percentage is.) In a few cases, I am taken aback by the free-floating generalized hostility and/or the weirdness. All it would take is one unbalanced person to cause a problem.
So what do others think? Am I being needlessly paranoid? Are you even more paranoid than I am? Does your thinking parallel mine? I know I am among the majority in not using my real name, but there are other parameters such as a "friends only" profile and information revealed in direct messages. Discussion?
All good points. I don't think you are being paranoid at all And remember, there are more people reading this than the ones who post
I am sure that most of the people here are good people, but you just don't know, and you need to protect yourself. No offense to anyone, but we don't necessarily know that much about the people we work with, our neighbors, and our co-workers. It only takes one slightly unbalanced or unhappy person to turn your life upside down in ways you can't even imagine. I am always shocked by how much people are willing to share with others who are relative strangers. Not me- I prefer to keep my cards close and trust my instincts. There is no reason for people here to share personal identifying information. As you said, the messaging system here works just fine.
Many years ago when I was much younger an ex-boyfriend stalked me; I had to relocate and cut ties with everyone, so I know what can happen even with someone you think you know. I am very careful, not only online, but also in real life to protect myself. I would never post identifying information or anything else that might compromise me in any way and would never expect anyone else to.
I also think the anonymity of the board is part of what makes it the community it is- everyone feels free to share without worrying that their boss or neighbor might be reading.
Just my thought, and probably not too coherent- am up tonight with a sick dog (nothing serious)
Last edited by twelvepaw; 10-28-2014 at 02:35 AM..
Most of us do not use our real names, but a few people do.
As a policy I have always tried to avoid giving out any identifying information...
I won't give my real name when I make a hair cut appointment.
Quote:
On several occasions I have politely declined to exchange personal email addresses...
So what do others think? Am I being needlessly paranoid?
A bit. Get a couple spare email addresses to give out.
I've been corresponding with and meeting people from online venues like this
(Usenet, IRC, Listserv, OLD) since 1994 at least. Nothing amiss has come from it.
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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I too have met many C-D folks and other 'online' connections who share interests.
I do lots of transactions on internet and have bought and paid for many cars sight unseen, and have 100% been fetched from the Airport when I fly in to pick up a car or cycle. 2x, rides were VERY late (1hr +) so I have had my worries...
I also use internet and craigslist rideshare. Beats hitch-hiking (so far no axe murderers. (that I know of))
Many CD readers and posters are underage anyway. , they are just posting here during study hall.
I think it is wise to stay as anonymous as possible. Even if I did share an email address it would be an alternate address, but have never seen the need for that.
I don't even sell cars outright and take the hit at the dealer. I don't want to take my time to meet someone somewhere and certainly don't want anyone coming to my house.
On the other hand, I don't mind sharing information that is true: i.e. the terms of our trust or investment numbers in general terms.
...I've been corresponding with and meeting people from online venues like this (Usenet, IRC, Listserv, OLD) since 1994 at least. Nothing amiss has come from it.
I was on Usenet beginning in the late 80's, and many people used to use their real names, including me. In one group if a regular poste, or several, were coming to NYC where I lived, a bunch of posters from the NYC area would meet with the out-of-towners in a restaurant for a dinner. One of the dinners got fifty people during some holiday.
Met terrific people on the Usenet groups, and quite a few in person. Even met a couple of people who were leaders in their specialities and were posting under their real names.
However, all those people were folks not only from a different computer era, but also born and raised in a different USA. Given today's internet and the deterioration in civility in American society across the board, I would be highly unlikely to be willing to want to replicate that experience today. In any case, I live in Europe now.
I do not watch any American news channels, and in recent months have come to watch little news channel from anywhere. I began looking at City-Data forums because I wanted a one-stop broad view of what Americans are thinking and doing, across the country, across age groups, etc. And the C-D forums are so varied that it all seems right here between the geographically-oriented forums and the special interest ones.
As for secrecy, I am very prolix and detailed in what I post. And I have been aware that someone with enough motivation could follow the dots from my posts here to other places. One regular C-D participant did take the pains to do just that, and did find one of several email addresses I keep as spares.
I try to keep it under the radar with any internet use. Common sense. No real locations, close but not exact. No full names. I do accept friend requests but I don't request any. I agree the more anonymity lets you be more free in your posts.
I'm not too concerned about anyone knowing my real name. It is so common of a name that it would be difficult to get much more than that. I've done a Google search on my name several times, and nothing comes up. There is one fellow with my middle name who is a well-known artist. His info always shows up instead of mine.
Still, I won't give out my e-mail address unless I've established some type of personal relationship with the other person. And that takes time, and I can usually tell after awhile if someone has integrity or not. I live by a code of "trust everyone until they give me a reason to not trust them". I have rarely been disappointed, hurt, or been taken advantage of by living this way.
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, they are just posting here during study hall.
