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Old 12-03-2014, 07:17 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 25,056,304 times
Reputation: 51113

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Quote:
Originally Posted by silibran View Post
$200,000 will not go very far if the two are not able to budget and save.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
Yes, a reckless spender can go through that much money fairly quickly. Let's start off with a new high-end car, say, $50 or 60K. There's 25% or more of the windfall gone right away. Then there are certain toys which can be very expensive - boats and motorcycles come to mind, but there are others too. Remodel the kitchen and a couple of bathrooms can easily be $20K or more. Then add paint and new carpets for the bedrooms.

Smaller but pricey things can add up over time: One can feel like a big shot and impress friends, neighbors, and relatives by treating them to expensive meals out at high-end restaurants. Travel can be pricey depending on how one does it. Ditch the Motel 6 and stay in hotels that are upwards of $100 per night.

However, for a normal person $200,000 would be a life-changing sum which would last for many, many years. Sure, an aging car might be replaced and some needed house repairs done, and one might finally take a trip long dreamed of, but a prudent person would invest most of the money so that it would be a gift that continues giving.
I don't know where you live, but where I live you could easily spend $40,000 remodeling a kitchen without even touching the rest of the house.

And, many "cheap" hotels here are $100 and more a night. A fancy hotel in a vacation spot could easily be $300 to $400 or more a night (not that I could ever afford that).

Of course, a prudent person would invest the money, but very few people are always prudent.

I knew someone in college who spent a $500,000 (in today's money) inheritance in less than two years. He ended up having to drop out of college and move back home to live with his mother because he was totally broke. I still can't believe that a 19 or 20 year old was allowed to handle all of that money totally independently. His late father must have been "rolling over in his grave" and kicking himself that he did not arrange to put the money in some type of trust fund. It was a real shame. He was just too young and immature to handle that amount of money. It could have changed his life but it was just wasted.

Last edited by germaine2626; 12-03-2014 at 07:28 PM..
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Old 12-03-2014, 07:30 PM
 
16,375 posts, read 30,171,692 times
Reputation: 25427
Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
However, for a normal person $200,000 would be a life-changing sum which would last for many, many years. Sure, an aging car might be replaced and some needed house repairs done, and one might finally take a trip long dreamed of, but a prudent person would invest most of the money so that it would be a gift that continues giving.
I would agree with you. Some people would use the money wisely, but others would be in a hurry to blow it. I think it would be difficult for me to blow a lot of money on a vehicle with money from a person who always drove a beater.

I have been advising the in-laws to help their grandchildren with their college educations. We get nothing out of that as we have no children, but, so what??
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Old 12-03-2014, 07:45 PM
 
15,633 posts, read 26,183,088 times
Reputation: 30922
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
I disagree, fighting does NOT "come naturally".

My three siblings and I ranged in age from our late 30s to our mid 50s when our last parent passed away over 15 years ago, and we did not have have even one fight or one disagreement over our inheritance or dividing up personal property. Part of our inheritance was a farm, which we continue to run together, and even that has not caused any disagreements or fights between us.

However, I do agree with your final sentence,"Better that people expect nothing and get something than the other way around."
My mom died from colon cancer in a matter of weeks after we got the diagnosis. We three daughters pulled together and stuck together and are still close...so like you -- no fighting.

BUT -- after my mother died, every single person -- and I am not lying about this, or exaggerating either.... every single person that I spoke with beyond thanking them for their condolences -- told me horror stories of losing their parents or aunts or uncles and the fights over the money and goods and the ill feelings that still lingered.

EVERY SINGLE BLESSED ONE.

I asked my sisters -- they said the same thing. One in fact, was encouraged by a sister in law to start trouble -- she told her to shove off, trouble wasn't going to happen.

You and I -- we're in a tiny weird little group of people. It reminds me of that tee shirt picturing an nearly empty auditorium, with the banner reading Adult Children of Normal Parents.

It seems most people prefer the drama. Losing our beloved mother was drama and trauma enough, thank you -- don't need any more.
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Old 12-03-2014, 07:54 PM
 
Location: Tucson/Nogales
23,143 posts, read 28,910,546 times
Reputation: 32494
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eastcoasting View Post
We encourage our parents to spend their money as all of us have done well and really don't need a single cent from them..
And, if you, and your siblings, were doing miserably? Unable to get your feet back on the ground after this last 2nd Great Depression?

Misers are very kind people: they amass wealth for those who wish their death. Stanislaus, King of Poland

My sister is the misers of misers! It would fall on deaf ears to encourage her to spend any of her accumulated loot, and the unspoken dreams of her 4 children? I wouldn't trust any of them to be caregivers for her some day! Lol!

If I was 88, worth a million, had 4 children, whether they were doing well or not financially, I'd make a comment to see what their reaction would be! "I'll bet you dream of the day when you get your inheritance!" And? Those that utterly denied those dreams, I'd lessen their inheritance as punishment for being such liars! Lol!

Last edited by tijlover; 12-03-2014 at 08:35 PM..
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Old 12-03-2014, 09:34 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,017 posts, read 20,869,471 times
Reputation: 32530
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tallysmom View Post
My mom died from colon cancer in a matter of weeks after we got the diagnosis. We three daughters pulled together and stuck together and are still close...so like you -- no fighting.

BUT -- after my mother died, every single person -- and I am not lying about this, or exaggerating either.... every single person that I spoke with beyond thanking them for their condolences -- told me horror stories of losing their parents or aunts or uncles and the fights over the money and goods and the ill feelings that still lingered.

EVERY SINGLE BLESSED ONE.

I asked my sisters -- they said the same thing. One in fact, was encouraged by a sister in law to start trouble -- she told her to shove off, trouble wasn't going to happen.

You and I -- we're in a tiny weird little group of people. It reminds me of that tee shirt picturing an nearly empty auditorium, with the banner reading Adult Children of Normal Parents.

It seems most people prefer the drama. Losing our beloved mother was drama and trauma enough, thank you -- don't need any more.
Very interesting. To what extent your personal observations represent the real percentages is hard to determine, but for sure there are lots of families in which resentments, jealousies, and ill feelings predominate, so I don't have any trouble believing that you are accurately reporting your experiences.

Death often brings out the worst in families - just ask any funeral director.

Yet I must raise my hand as belonging to your club. My sister and I (there are only the two of us) cooperated fully and completely without conflict after our mother died nine years ago. We planned the funeral, made the arrangements, went through all my mother's belongings, and did the paperwork in order to collect on the annuities and bank accounts all of which our mother had designated should be split equally between the two of us. All that was plenty of work, and it would have been a true nightmare if we had been at each others' throats about it. I'm so glad we weren't.

And I really enjoyed the humor reflected in the T-shirt you described!
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Old 12-03-2014, 10:01 PM
 
15,633 posts, read 26,183,088 times
Reputation: 30922
Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
Very interesting. To what extent your personal observations represent the real percentages is hard to determine, but for sure there are lots of families in which resentments, jealousies, and ill feelings predominate, so I don't have any trouble believing that you are accurately reporting your experiences.

Death often brings out the worst in families - just ask any funeral director.

Yet I must raise my hand as belonging to your club. My sister and I (there are only the two of us) cooperated fully and completely without conflict after our mother died nine years ago. We planned the funeral, made the arrangements, went through all my mother's belongings, and did the paperwork in order to collect on the annuities and bank accounts all of which our mother had designated should be split equally between the two of us. All that was plenty of work, and it would have been a true nightmare if we had been at each others' throats about it. I'm so glad we weren't.

And I really enjoyed the humor reflected in the T-shirt you described!
It is, truly, not scientific. But a friend of mine lost her mom about year after I lost mine, and was the executor and went through I don't know how much trying to divvy up the estate, including one brother taking off because he was "scared" of the money, but no matter what she tried to appease him (including having a trust set up -- which they didn't do because he freaked over that, because "they" would know where he was). Eventually, she had a cashier's check made out, handed it to him, and made him sign that he got it, and let him know that cashier's checks EXPIRE -- all this hassle to close out an estate.

Another friend's mom died, leaving a small insurance policy to the kids (the dad was still alive) and the one sister wanted more of it because the mom was mean to her. We grew up together -- no she wasn't. The amount was about 2K each. Not enough to do anything with, except a trip.

And those were close friends. The others just made me feel both lucky and really sad...

Here's the design

http://www.jenniferberman.com/images...f/aconpBIG.jpg

This ranks a close second to my favorite cartoon -- and then a miracle occurs

"Then a Miracle Occurs"
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Old 12-05-2014, 08:45 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
30,585 posts, read 25,041,229 times
Reputation: 50796
Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
Yes, a reckless spender can go through that much money fairly quickly. Let's start off with a new high-end car, say, $50 or 60K. There's 25% or more of the windfall gone right away. Then there are certain toys which can be very expensive - boats and motorcycles come to mind, but there are others too. Remodel the kitchen and a couple of bathrooms can easily be $20K or more. Then add paint and new carpets for the bedrooms.

Smaller but pricey things can add up over time: One can feel like a big shot and impress friends, neighbors, and relatives by treating them to expensive meals out at high-end restaurants. Travel can be pricey depending on how one does it. Ditch the Motel 6 and stay in hotels that are upwards of $100 per night.

However, for a normal person $200,000 would be a life-changing sum which would last for many, many years. Sure, an aging car might be replaced and some needed house repairs done, and one might finally take a trip long dreamed of, but a prudent person would invest most of the money so that it would be a gift that continues giving.
I agree. But if there is little or no income coming in, that $200,000 will not last long. And the people waiting for the parent to die, don't sound too frugal.
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Old 12-05-2014, 09:11 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,017 posts, read 20,869,471 times
Reputation: 32530
Quote:
Originally Posted by silibran View Post
I agree. But if there is little or no income coming in, that $200,000 will not last long. And the people waiting for the parent to die, don't sound too frugal.
Yep, everything is relative and we should never underestimate certain peoples' ability to blow through large sums of money.

But even if I had no other money coming in, and if those are after-tax dollars, I could live quite well (but not lavishly) on $200,000 for six or seven years. My mortgage is paid off, so that skews things a little, but even if we add rent or mortgage payment on a reasonable place, a person should do O.K. on that money for four or five years.
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Old 12-06-2014, 10:55 AM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,775 posts, read 11,878,841 times
Reputation: 11485
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmyhoss View Post
My only son says. I hope you spend everything. Enjoy yourselves!
I told my mom the same thing. When my dad died he didn't leave her wealthy but she had enough to live comfortably if she were frugal. I told her that I hoped she spent it all so nobody would have anything to argue over. Well, she DID "spend everything" AND went into credit card debt to the tune of about $80,000. I couldn't believe it! She spent many thousands on my younger brother...her Golden Child. She paid his house, car, truck, motorcycle payments, set him up in his own business paying for utilities, etc. and remodeling. She bought his wife a brand new car and paid cash for it. All she really has left is her home and car. And those go to Golden Child when Mom dies. He already has plans for it all...
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Old 12-06-2014, 03:02 PM
 
Location: in the miseries
3,576 posts, read 4,497,795 times
Reputation: 4416
Quote:
Originally Posted by AZDesertBrat View Post
I told my mom the same thing. When my dad died he didn't leave her wealthy but she had enough to live comfortably if she were frugal. I told her that I hoped she spent it all so nobody would have anything to argue over. Well, she DID "spend everything" AND went into credit card debt to the tune of about $80,000. I couldn't believe it! She spent many thousands on my younger brother...her Golden Child. She paid his house, car, truck, motorcycle payments, set him up in his own business paying for utilities, etc. and remodeling. She bought his wife a brand new car and paid cash for it. All she really has left is her home and car. And those go to Golden Child when Mom dies. He already has plans for it all...
My father had a will that left everything equally to all remainder children.
I was in charge, and believe me that was exactly what happened.
And I am next to the youngest!

My siblings wouldn't dare to mess with me.
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