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I've seem many different threads about retiree's and their children. My wife and I took the lesser traveled path choosing not to have any. Throughout my life I've been asked what I would do later without kids to take care of me. Frankly, I never viewed that as a reason enough to have kids. Fast forward to now, at 57, and I just don't miss all those kids we never had and we're looking forward to spending our final years together doing things we enjoy.
I'd like to hear from those or you who retired never having had kids. How is retirement without kids? Certainly there must be one or two others like us out there, somewhere. Heh!
#1: I grew up with a mother who had MS {multiple Sclerosis} BEFORE it was acceptable to say so. She was diagnosed in 1965, when I was 2. She was able to succeed in having my younger bro. in 67. By the time i was age 9, I was the one who ran the household form the "female" view AT THAT TIME. MYF, naturally had to support the family. Mother passed away a dozen years ago.
#2: I am in my 50's and have no children, and expect none.
#3 I have an 'adopted" niece/nephew and great Nephews whom I have placed an inheritance on, providing they do A FEW THINGS, SUCH AS LOOK AFTER MY SPOUSE AND I {interests} IN OUR LATER YEARS.
#4 IF NOT, then our exponentially growing case will go to charity..namely PBS Channel series of educational benefits to the viewers.
I expect no one will be there to car for me or my spouse as we age, so WHOMEVER does, WIL benefit IF not. PBS will.
I long ago set up my will to benefit different charities and local causes, and to aid whichever ones take whatever dogs I might leave. I also consider the need to be relatively well-off in retirement so as to hire out whatever services I might want or need, or hire help for myself. I also would want to be able to move to a very nice facility if need be.
I have never wanted to be a parent, and have never wavered. But I do think care taking is a lousy reason to have kids, and if you don't have them, you are certain to be in a better financial position to hire services and assistance.
^^^
The same with being terminally single and older. However, that would be a poor reason to couple up!
It does seem that people with families tend to socialize pretty much within their family settings. Friendships run a very poor second or third. I know I've heard from some friends from years ago after some 20 years of silence, and it's because their younger kid finished high school and they're looking around for company, and as far as I'm concerned, it's a bit late.
I know, of course, that family does and should come first with someone, but to be out of contact for the whole of the kids' growing up and expect a friendship on the other end… no.
The only problem with not having kids is everyone ignores you if you don't have a family.
Have never ever found that to be true. Where I work, really nice group of people, many actually don't have kids and are single but those that have families always include us in gatherings. Over the years I've turned down a few invites due to not wanting to be around 6 families and all their kids at once. Yikes!!
The only problem with not having kids is everyone ignores you if you don't have a family.
I have found this exactly to be true. Or at least single/never married and no kids. Not sure its quite as bad if your married. "At least you did one normal thing" and people can speculate that one partner is infertile.
I have found this exactly to be true. Or at least single/never married and no kids. Not sure its quite as bad if your married. "At least you did one normal thing" and people can speculate that one partner is infertile.
i think that a stigma still exists, among some people who are parents- not all- regarding people who are married and don't have kids. this is especially true in the case of a couple who chooses not to have children. and you are probably right that it is even more so with single, no children.
my husband and i had a number of non- parent friends as well as single friends with whom we had a social relationship. some were better, closer friends than others, but we had very few parents who were close friends. the one exception was a couple we had known prior to their marriage, and they did not have children until they had been married nine years. after the child's birth we continued the friendship as did they, but it was more difficult, and less satisfying, probably on both parts. the center of their life became their child, and this is predictable and probably understandable, but our lives and interests diverged. we remained friends and still are, although the geographical distance between us now makes contact not very frequent. honestly, they now have a grandchild who lives near, so even if we were closer, i doubt we'd be that involved.
i think with some people who are parents, it almost becomes a competitive notch for them, and it's as if they have joined a club- those who are not parents not "eligible" to join. i don't feel this way about all people i've known who have had children, and there are certainly some people who were non-parents with whom we would have had nothing in common, except for the fact of being childless. so, it's not a black and white issue, just an interesting one to me. but, i'm a social worker, so such observations are always going to be interesting ones on which to speculate.
I tip my hat with much respect to those who chose not to have children. I won't get on my soapbox regarding people with neglected children, who collect ADC.
I am a childless retiree but not by choice as I lost my son and only child in a car accident when he was 19. It is the reason my horses quickly, again, became my number one focus in this life. Not to mention they saved my sanity.
Mister Norma has not spoke to his children in 12 years -- he grew weary of them never calling him unless they needed something. Something was either a lot of money, a lawyer, or co-sign on something right before they lost their job.
They are in the Will simply for the fact they won't be able to contest it, were it to come to that.
My brother is Executor and his attitude about people standing around with their greedy paws out is a lot worse than mine. Our dad passed right before he graduated H.S., he put himself thru college while maintaining the farm our grandparents bought. He still has the farm, has one child in college and college-brainwashing the other one for when she graduates school.
Meaning, he gets nearly everything we have because he deserves it and I don't have to worry about somebody walking over him that hasn't earned their way in this life.
We do our best to spend down (easy to do when one has horses and a some acreage, which makes my brother happy as it's less for him to worry about. His only hope is I don't blow the 4-wheeler up anytime soon
I'd like to hear from those or you who retired never having had kids. How is retirement without kids? Certainly there must be one or two others like us out there, somewhere. Heh!
It's the same as working without kids. No, really. During 2 holidays (Christmas/Thanksgiving), your friends/siblings pity you and the other 363 days of the year you listen to them complain about their kids.
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, which makes my brother happy as it's less for him to worry about. His only hope is I don't blow the 4-wheeler up anytime soon
