Retired Without Children (welfare, grandmother, relation, single)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
...
I realize that this post has concentrated more on the later years of retirement which is sort of grim. Maybe the thread is more about how are you enjoying your early retirement years without children?
...
Very relevant post - at least from my perspective. My reason for reading this thread is precisely to learn about the strategies for later part of retirement. In our case, my wife and I are happily without children. We expect to have reasonable financial resources for our retirement. But - whether we will both be around / healthy in the later stage is not something to plan on. But - even if one does not need financial help, one might be too infirm to deal with decisions, ensuring quality of care, etc. How do people in this situation plan to deal with such things? What kind of help is available? I assume we will be able to afford it, but how does one make sure that those helping are scrupulous?
For us, neither my wife nor I have family in the US. We can hardly expect to burden friends with such things...
Have never ever found that to be true. Where I work, really nice group of people, many actually don't have kids and are single but those that have families always include us in gatherings. Over the years I've turned down a few invites due to not wanting to be around 6 families and all their kids at once. Yikes!!
You're a woman. Women get treated differently than men.
Very relevant post - at least from my perspective. My reason for reading this thread is precisely to learn about the strategies for later part of retirement. In our case, my wife and I are happily without children. We expect to have reasonable financial resources for our retirement. But - whether we will both be around / healthy in the later stage is not something to plan on. But - even if one does not need financial help, one might be too infirm to deal with decisions, ensuring quality of care, etc. How do people in this situation plan to deal with such things? What kind of help is available? I assume we will be able to afford it, but how does one make sure that those helping are scrupulous?
For us, neither my wife nor I have family in the US. We can hardly expect to burden friends with such things...
I've never found anyone that dealt with the late stages of being elderly and alone. This is the only thing I've ever thought of but don't know anyone who has used one.
Problem is when I look at certified elder lawyers websites they only seem to do estate planning etc. I'll need to hire someone to act as family, make those decisions and help with things that family would do, and I havent found anyone that does that.
I don't like fathers day, in church they always have all fathers stand up and I remain sitting. Everyone wonders whats the matter with you? Obviously your some kind of oddball, wierdo.
If anyone asks I have to explain that I was married years ago and never had any children.
So do you feel the same on mother day? Its a day of recognizing fathers; nothing else. If I am not one recognized for whatever reason :I have no problem with others being recognized. I doubt anyone even notices you really; its in your head :IMO.
My husband and I never had children, never wanted to for a variety of reasons. I'm retired/self employed; hei still working.
It has occurred to us that we may be up ****s creek without a paddle when we get older so I am working on starting a "commune" of several of my single, straight,and gay friends, all childless. We all have different skills and abilities and we will buy property together and whatever medical personnel we need.
You are stuck with your family, but you can choose your own tribe. And when you take the obligation out of caregiving, and everybody contributes what they can, I think it's a far better situation than sticking some hapless children with the care of their elderly parents? We old dogies wanna have fun!
I don't like fathers day, in church they always have all fathers stand up and I remain sitting. Everyone wonders whats the matter with you? Obviously your some kind of oddball, wierdo.
If anyone asks I have to explain that I was married years ago and never had any children.
I agree with Texdave. The focus is really on those standing.
... I am working on starting a "commune" of several of my single, straight,and gay friends, all childless. We all have different skills and abilities and we will buy property together and whatever medical personnel we need.
This sounds appealing regardless of the stage of life in which one finds oneself. For persons without family (spouse, children, parents or siblings), a "commune" is an eminently wise solution both to loneliness and to logistical strains of solitary life. Unfortunately the very term - as well as the implications - contravenes the essence of what might be termed the American spirit. This is a rabidly private country, a country of mine vs. yours, where family by blood-relations trumps all other connections, and where the forging of such other connections somehow smacks of the reprehensible and phony. The one exception to this is perhaps religious communities.
But the idea of a commune of shared-responsibilities is so compelling, that I really wish that more serious attempt were directed towards it. How do we begin?
This sounds appealing regardless of the stage of life in which one finds oneself. For persons without family (spouse, children, parents or siblings), a "commune" is an eminently wise solution both to loneliness and to logistical strains of solitary life. Unfortunately the very term - as well as the implications - contravenes the essence of what might be termed the American spirit. This is a rabidly private country, a country of mine vs. yours, where family by blood-relations trumps all other connections, and where the forging of such other connections somehow smacks of the reprehensible and phony. The one exception to this is perhaps religious communities.
But the idea of a commune of shared-responsibilities is so compelling, that I really wish that more serious attempt were directed towards it. How do we begin?
I have often had the same thought about a supporting group of spinsters but have never been able to make it a reality. Perhaps its a bit easier for those in places like NYC where there is just such a huge amt of diversity all around you and people are out, out of their cars, more. Living in the midwest, small cities or towns it just seems that much harder. Add in that never married's tend to be more lonerish.
Sounds great though.
Very relevant post - at least from my perspective. My reason for reading this thread is precisely to learn about the strategies for later part of retirement. In our case, my wife and I are happily without children. We expect to have reasonable financial resources for our retirement. But - whether we will both be around / healthy in the later stage is not something to plan on. But - even if one does not need financial help, one might be too infirm to deal with decisions, ensuring quality of care, etc. How do people in this situation plan to deal with such things? What kind of help is available? I assume we will be able to afford it, but how does one make sure that those helping are scrupulous?
For us, neither my wife nor I have family in the US. We can hardly expect to burden friends with such things...
We are in our early 70's and quite capable of independent living as we presently do but we accept the fact that as we age this could change thus we have begun to explore alternative living conditions. I refer to Continuing Care Retirement Facilities (CCRF's) that offer changing care as needed. The ones we have been looking at offer several levels. They range from totally independent living (apartment/small home) up to totally assisted living.
They are not inexpensive but they exist. I suggest you begin to look at a few.
Hope this helps.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
