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Old 12-30-2014, 10:23 PM
 
Location: too far from the sea
19,894 posts, read 18,907,505 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Woof View Post
No, that's wrong, from my own personal experience and observing others. Almost all depressed people show signs of misery, or talk about death and suicide, or even have it graven on their faces and displayed in their hunched over, slow gait, so that you can see one of them coming from a block away.
No. Depression has many faces. It has been said that depression is anger turned inside out. The person turns the anger in toward themselves as self hatred and neglect of self.

Anger, loss, sadness, apathy, loss of interest, no interest even in bathing or getting dressed--that's depression.

She is talking about people who have died, loss of finances, not taking any interest in her surroundings or interest in doing things. Depression with a capital D. She needs a very good psychologist or psychiatrist. It's covered under Medicare, isn't it? Ask around and find someone really good because there are bad ones out there who don't do much at all. But someone who has the knack of drawing her out and getting her to voice her anger and sadness, that could heal her. Also antidepressant medication helps some people but it doesn't help everyone. In my opinion, she'd be better off with someone who can talk to her, not just put her on medication. Are there therapists who specialize in senior problems? Ask around. Ask at the senior center. She needs help and it sounds like she is worth saving.
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Old 12-31-2014, 06:04 AM
 
4,492 posts, read 4,753,674 times
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Old 12-31-2014, 10:01 AM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,698 posts, read 23,696,516 times
Reputation: 35450
Depression manifests itself differently in different people and it can vary in men and women. This excerpt is an example.

Depression Symptoms & Warning Signs: How to Recognize Depression Symptoms and Get Effective Help

Quote:
Some people describe depression as “living in a black hole” or having a feeling of impending doom. However, some depressed people don't feel sad at all—they may feel lifeless, empty, and apathetic, or men in particular may even feel angry, aggressive, and restless.
How often do we hear of people who appear to be cheerful and happy but commit suicide without ever having given any indication of having been depressed? It is not always possible to determine whether or not someone is depressed. They could be in a manic stage before they commit suicide just as well as a depressed one.

Robin Williams is a case in point. Although he suffered from severe depression all his life, at the time he killed himself according to his family, he didn't show any signs of being terribly depressed or suicidal. If he had, they would have surely kept a close eye on him. He had even been taking a mild antidepressant medication at the time of his suicide according to the medical reports reported in the news.

There is no accurate way of foretelling every single manifestation of depression.
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Old 12-31-2014, 12:14 PM
 
4,492 posts, read 4,753,674 times
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As there is a forum for relationships there is also one for mental health issues. Must this be done here?
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Old 12-31-2014, 01:47 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,001,270 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brava4 View Post
As there is a forum for relationships there is also one for mental health issues. Must this be done here?
To be fair, depression in retirement is a legitimate retirement issue. Retirement appears to be a factor, if not a big one. States of mind post-retirement is of interest to many of us.
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Old 12-31-2014, 03:04 PM
 
4,492 posts, read 4,753,674 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
To be fair, depression in retirement is a legitimate retirement issue. Retirement appears to be a factor, if not a big one. States of mind post-retirement is of interest to many of us.
It's the arguing back and forth about who is right and wrong about it that irks me...not the issue as much. Views, impressions, experiences about depression are so varied that posted links about information is pretty futile. So, it becomes who can prove it and try to change another's mind about it.

Last edited by brava4; 12-31-2014 at 03:17 PM..
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Old 12-31-2014, 03:47 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,001,270 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brava4 View Post
It's the arguing back and forth about who is right and wrong about it that irks me...not the issue as much. Views, impressions, experiences about depression are so varied that posted links about information is pretty futile. So, it becomes who can prove it and try to change another's mind about it.
Well, as in most threads, responders are just speculating as a way to help the OP. I don't think anyone here feels they have a definitive answer, because not enough info was given on the situation. I think the OP is looking for clues, not answers, b/c s/he knows we are not mental health professionals.
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Old 12-31-2014, 06:39 PM
 
10,132 posts, read 6,338,853 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FeelinLow View Post
She is under doctor's care and being checked also for sleep apnea and hypothyroidism. She worked for years doing sedentary computer and desk work. She never had outside interests and hobbies. She was liked by co-workers but was a severe introvert who prefered a quiet, private lifestyle. She was one of these people whose job was her identity and she prided herself on excelling at it. Getting up and going to work was what it was all about.
Our last 8 years have been nothing but stress financially due to multiple job losses for both of us plus many changes in our families through deaths and divorce. The sense of ''family'' has been lost in our lives and we have little support
except through some wonderful friends from my past in another state.
Her health has declined and she has made some recent progress in dealing with it because she got Medicare coverage. She is seeing doctors now and has been getting good reports
We both hate where we live but we are locked into a lease that we can't get out of until next summer.
Just from my telling you some of this you can see that we have multiple stressors. I am the type of person who springs into action when faced with adversity. She is the type who withdraws. My lifestyle is about getting out and doing physical activities like golf, hiking, bicycling, visiting friends.
She has never wanted to do any of these things, preferring to stay home and read, watch TV, etc. We have had a pretty track record with respecting our differences over the years and I enjoy my autonomy as well, so it has worked for the most part.
I do think she needs a thorough physical and psychological evaluation and we have a reknowned geriatric evaluation center in our area. There is some history of mini-strokes and some of her meds may contribute to the depression.
I think it's also what ''work-a-holics'' go through when all of a sudden there's no workplace to go to.
They have to find a way to create a new identity and life, but as people get older and don't feel well it is much more of a challenge. This is what I think is most of it.
Let's see:

Workaholic no longer has a job.
8 years of financial stress.
Loss of family.
Hates location of home.
Mini strokes.
Meds with side effects.

Yup, I'd say that's more than enough to make an introvert shut down and just wallow in it. She's angry all right and somewhat depressed. While there's not a lot you can do, there is one thing. I'd ask her physician to either change her meds or adjust the dosage. That alone can work wonders, it's the first thing the physician groups try at the more attentive retirement centers. I suggest that you keep up with your activities and hang in there for a few more months.
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Old 12-31-2014, 07:00 PM
 
Location: Planet Woof
3,139 posts, read 3,514,750 times
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I have no intention of going anywhere. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed, but I back off and recoup.
We are trying to plan a new lifestyle and will begin to look at another place to live in the spring. We are locked into a lease and are forced to curtail both our desires to leave at least until early summer.
Anyway, I do appreciate all your insights. I think that many people struggle with retirement after the first ''glow'' of no agendas, sleeping in, and no more office bs sets in.

They have to sort of create a new ''identity'' and purpose for themselves. Many do it easily, others struggle.
I think that is where this thread discussion ought to go now...
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Old 12-31-2014, 09:30 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,763,041 times
Reputation: 32309
Default "Somewhat"????

Quote:
Originally Posted by elan View Post
Let's see:

Workaholic no longer has a job.
8 years of financial stress.
Loss of family.
Hates location of home.
Mini strokes.
Meds with side effects.

Yup, I'd say that's more than enough to make an introvert shut down and just wallow in it. She's angry all right and somewhat depressed. While there's not a lot you can do, there is one thing. I'd ask her physician to either change her meds or adjust the dosage. That alone can work wonders, it's the first thing the physician groups try at the more attentive retirement centers. I suggest that you keep up with your activities and hang in there for a few more months.
Somewhat depressed? That is one of most surprising things I've ever read on City-Data. She won't even bathe. Just how much more depressed can one get?
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