U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
 
Old 01-13-2015, 12:35 PM
 
Location: Florida
4,103 posts, read 4,287,871 times
Reputation: 10056

Advertisements

I live in Florida.....they cant drive.......seriously they cant drive.......
Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-13-2015, 02:01 PM
 
Location: Minnesota
1,576 posts, read 1,356,041 times
Reputation: 2053
As a few others have mentioned, no stereotype is always true, but none the less, this is one that I've seen quite often in retired people and it always bugs me.

Many retired people seem to think that you need to work around their schedule, rather than the other way around at times. Even my folks were sometimes guilty of this. Let's say there is a party being planned, and I work until 5:00 PM each week day. The party will be planned at 4:00 on Wednesday. Why, because another retired person attending always plays Bridge on Wednesday at 6:00 PM....so of course we have to accommodate his/her needs right ? Who cares that you, and probably a number of others work at a job to support and feed your family,......the 6:00 PM Bridge gathering is far more important :-) and needs to be scheduled around.....you just need to buck up and take a few hours of vacation in order to get to the party on time.

I meet a retired fellow for coffee a few times every week. The place we meet is near my office (I still work) and I can easily escape for a half hour for coffee when needed. There is another place we could meet very near my retired friends home. He's always after me to meet him there since it's closer to his house. I always remind him that I can't generally take the extra drive time for coffee, although when possible, I sometimes do. 100 percent of his time belongs to him and he's got plenty of retirement income (trust me on this :-) for gas for the short drive...but he's always wondering why I can't accommodate his convenience. Is this really that difficult a concept for retired people to grasp ?

I'd think these type of situations would be self-evident, but unfortunately they don't seem to be much of the time.

I've told both my kids (and my wife) time and time again, if I ever start acting the way I've just described.....please, please remind me that I'm doing what I used to hate having done to me :-)

Anyone else ever have experiences like this with retired people ????
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-13-2015, 02:14 PM
 
10,824 posts, read 8,086,306 times
Reputation: 17038
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper1372 View Post
Many retired people seem to think that you need to work around their schedule, rather than the other way around at times. Even my folks were sometimes guilty of this. Let's say there is a party being planned, and I work until 5:00 PM each week day. The party will be planned at 4:00 on Wednesday. Why, because another retired person attending always plays Bridge on Wednesday at 6:00 PM....so of course we have to accommodate his/her needs right ? Who cares that you, and probably a number of others work at a job to support and feed your family,......the 6:00 PM Bridge gathering is far more important :-) and needs to be scheduled around.....you just need to buck up and take a few hours of vacation in order to get to the party on time.

I meet a retired fellow for coffee a few times every week. The place we meet is near my office (I still work) and I can easily escape for a half hour for coffee when needed. There is another place we could meet very near my retired friends home. He's always after me to meet him there since it's closer to his house. I always remind him that I can't generally take the extra drive time for coffee, although when possible, I sometimes do. 100 percent of his time belongs to him and he's got plenty of retirement income (trust me on this :-) for gas for the short drive...but he's always wondering why I can't accommodate his convenience. Is this really that difficult a concept for retired people to grasp ?

I'd think these type of situations would be self-evident, but unfortunately they don't seem to be much of the time.

I've told both my kids (and my wife) time and time again, if I ever start acting the way I've just described.....please, please remind me that I'm doing what I used to hate having done to me :-)

Anyone else ever have experiences like this with retired people ????
I'm retired and socialize frequently with folks who are still working (in fact, most of my friends do still work), and I wouldn't dream of imposing on them in that way. Lunch and coffee are arranged entirely around their schedules, and that's fine with me because I don't even have a schedule!
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-13-2015, 02:30 PM
 
4,576 posts, read 7,074,191 times
Reputation: 4228
that's we're all computer illiterate
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-13-2015, 02:48 PM
 
Location: Minnesota
1,576 posts, read 1,356,041 times
Reputation: 2053
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunnydee View Post
Omg, I've noticed this too! What is that smell and is my home doomed to smell like that?

When I was looking for our current home my realtor and I would step through the door and just look at each other because it was akin to going into a smoker's home. I'm not sure what that odor is, but it's definitely noticeable.

My dear Aunt had a house full of antiques and other interesting collectable things. She would quite often give us something or another from her "collection". My wife would always get it out of our house as soon as possible due to the smell everything had that had been in her home. My wife is a "super smeller", but can't hear all that well, while I have very acute hearing, but my "smeller" doesn't work nearly as well as hers...lol. I guess we compliment each other !

It just seemed that the smell would literally be attached and imbedded in anything that had been in her home for any length of time. I knew exactly what smell she was talking about although it didn't bother me nearly as much.....but it definitely was a peculiar smell and not very pleasant. I've definitely detected the same/similar smell before in the homes of older people although I too have no idea what generates it.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-13-2015, 02:51 PM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
1,424 posts, read 2,435,273 times
Reputation: 1776
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper1372 View Post
I've definitely detected the same/similar smell before in the homes of older people although I too have no idea what generates it.
‘Old-Person Smell’ Really Exists, Scientists Say | TIME.com
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-13-2015, 04:33 PM
 
Location: Oceania
8,623 posts, read 6,267,499 times
Reputation: 8318
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper1372 View Post
My dear Aunt had a house full of antiques and other interesting collectable things. She would quite often give us something or another from her "collection". My wife would always get it out of our house as soon as possible due to the smell everything had that had been in her home. My wife is a "super smeller", but can't hear all that well, while I have very acute hearing, but my "smeller" doesn't work nearly as well as hers...lol. I guess we compliment each other !

It just seemed that the smell would literally be attached and imbedded in anything that had been in her home for any length of time. I knew exactly what smell she was talking about although it didn't bother me nearly as much.....but it definitely was a peculiar smell and not very pleasant. I've definitely detected the same/similar smell before in the homes of older people although I too have no idea what generates it.

The answer is easy....Time.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-13-2015, 06:08 PM
 
Location: Ft. Myers
17,667 posts, read 11,227,347 times
Reputation: 37738
Aw, we just poop our pants fairly often !


Don
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-13-2015, 11:23 PM
 
4,069 posts, read 1,567,337 times
Reputation: 7413
Quote:
Originally Posted by thatguydownsouth View Post
I live in Florida.....they cant drive.......seriously they cant drive.......
Dear That = just get the hell out of my way. I have a tee time.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-14-2015, 04:24 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,698 posts, read 23,709,402 times
Reputation: 35450
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tallysmom View Post
I know several older people -- about half of whom are persnickety busybodies, bitter and always on the lookout for something ANYTHING to complain about, and everything is just awful all the time, while they are keeping busy (although in my opinion not busy enough). The rest keep busy and keep active.

So the "get off my lawn" contingent in the geezer world is alive and well, but it certainly isn't all of them.

But it bothers me, as I am toe dipping range of geezerhood at 55, that the women I see who are bitter and unpleasant are childless and alone. While I'm not alone, we are childless by choice and I'm wondering if not raising children and having to give of myself is what makes them just awful.... I don't want to be a miserable cuss in my old age -- life is too sweet for that, and sometimes I am little worried about that....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jukesgrrl View Post
I am childless by choice and I have never had any reason to second guess that decision. I've lived the life I wanted to live having far more choices than many other people have. I'm not living alone for the first time in decades because I now have my disabled elderly mother living with me. Not my idea of how I would spend the first decade of semi-retirement from employment, but she needed help and I stepped up.

Perhaps I seem unpleasant to some, but I prefer to talk about books, travel, art, politics, sports, music, etc., than other people's personal business. I barely know my neighbors, so I'm sure not butting into their affairs. I have a couple of serious health issues, but even some of my family members don't know about them. My best friends are a writer, a university professor, a Realtor, and an art dealer (two of whom also have sole responsibility for a sick parent). All of us certainly do complain, but there is plenty in this world to be legitimately angry about. There are also plenty of great things to do and we try to do them when we are not meeting our responsibilities.

Now that I am too old to have children, I see myself surrounded by peers who are subsumed by the problems of their adult children and don't really understand the lives of their grandchildren. How many grandmas are raising their grandchildren whether or not that was their idea of how to spend their retirement? How many seniors are still dishing out the cash to help their kids when they might be dedicating it to their own needs as elders? If those actions are their choice, that's fine and in any case, it's not my place to criticize how people raise their children or interact with them once they leave the nest. But I suspect some are doing it out of fear that they will be abandoned by their offspring if they aren't a constant source of assistance. You and I aren't going to have to worry about that. We are used to taking care of ourselves.

Often elderly people complain because they do, indeed, have unpleasant lives. Many have lost their life partners and most of their friends. They are in physical pain, they often have limited finances, the world has no respect for their opinions, they don't understand a lot of what is going on around them because of diminishing cognitive skills and/or information overload. They are scared they will lose the Social Security that's keeping them alive, because, to be fair, that IS always being threatened by conservative politicians who see Social Security and Medicare as "entitlements" these people don't deserve. Their doctors are often the only other humans who ever physically touch them. When you are observing that half of the senior population that you see as "bitter and always on the lookout for something ANYTHING to complain about" you might want to think about the fact that they don't have far to look.
Very well said Jukesgrrl. As a childfree person by choice who has moved to a new city, I am trying to seek new friends. I find old geezer stereotypes apply to women with children who, as you say, are still consumed by their children's wants and needs and can't stop talking about it.

So I too fit the curmudgeon stereotype when I politely edge away they launch into their long winded conversations about these subjects at the senior center. But they fit the stereotype of the constant whining about the kids not calling or the kids not raising the grandchildren right or the kids not saving their money. This leads to the "What's wrong the world?" complaints.

The one childfree friend I have made in my new city takes classes and going to events that interest her. I don't hear her complaining about anything. This was true also of the friends I left behind in my former city. I don't know about the bitter, unpleasant women without children Talleysmom is meeting but I have found just the opposite. With these women there is far less complaining and far more living.
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top