U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-28-2015, 09:00 PM
 
40 posts, read 42,717 times
Reputation: 83

Advertisements

Thank you, YellowSnow, for your encouragement.

Lily4, Larry, and Harpaint -- it's tremendously helpful to hear your experiences with this. Thank you for responding!

I think I might need a full year, at least. The pain of my stressful work life feels so raw to me. At this time, it's like I've been stricken with paralysis and am powerless to accomplish anything.

I *need* to do the cleaning out / organizing, as Lily mentions, but I'm even feeling too lazy to do that right now. It's not that I'm not delighted to retire and not be doing my job any more, but I find this lingering lethargy rather unnerving.

Harpaint - I hope to regain the energy and enthusiasm that you have found. Right now being in quiet places seems to help. I feel like I need to recover from years of *noise*.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-28-2015, 09:19 PM
 
Location: NE Mississippi
13,689 posts, read 8,594,306 times
Reputation: 19920
I retired in Dec, 2010.

And for the first 6 months every single time I sat down I went to sleep! Really!

It'll come together for you. I had work/stress related dreams for months - maybe even a year or two. But not now. Not anymore.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-28-2015, 09:33 PM
 
Location: Idaho
4,629 posts, read 4,475,135 times
Reputation: 9061
Quote:
Originally Posted by curmudgette View Post
Those are some pretty cool pictures. So much wildlife where you live.

I wanted to send you a PM on a different matter, but your account settings are such that I cannot PM you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-28-2015, 09:36 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,502,154 times
Reputation: 29076
It's absolutely fine to be useless for awhile. By the time I retired at age 62, burnout was a big factor. Of my 45 years of work, eight had been spent in the military, another eight as a cop and my last 20 in the fast-paced, stressful and demanding world of politics - not as an elected anything but having to deal with those who were. In the end I'd just had it.

My first year were spent finalizing our plans to move to another state, flying there looking around and house hunting then the fun of getting everything packed and moved then throwing our pets and bags in the car and making the 2,000 mile drive. By then, burn out was a distant memory. The next two years were a whirlwind of traveling to visit children and grandchildren in other states, exploring our new one, creating beds for flower and vegetable gardening, personalizing our home, etc.

But just as we were ready to get involved in some volunteer endeavors, my health headed south almost overnight. Six months of testing and hope and poke medicine, then a good diagnosis and hours of neurosurgery and....well....volunteer work was out of the question. Now, at age 68 I only have back about half of the function I'd lost and meanwhile my wife had very serious, emergency surgery and developed an autoimmune disorder so we're not going to be "working" anytime soon.

I tell you all this to emphasize that some wind-down time is good and appropriate. However, don't put off for too long doing those things you may one day wish to do. "Too late" can really creep up on you or even strike at a moment's notice.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-28-2015, 10:20 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,751,136 times
Reputation: 32309
Default The guilt and the worry are part of the stress you seek to leave behind.

Quote:
Originally Posted by curmudgette View Post
.................
Is it okay to be useless for a while?
[quote=LarryG;38219384]..................

Congratulations on your retirement, and don't let anyone tell you what you are "supposed to do". We each need to find the path that works for us.

Quote:
Originally Posted by curmudgette View Post
..................

I think I might need a full year, at least. The pain of my stressful work life feels so raw to me. At this time, it's like I've been stricken with paralysis and am powerless to accomplish anything.........
First, yes, it is okay to be useless for a while. That question is your guilt talking. Just as it will take some time to de-stress, it may take some time to let the quilt ebb. LarryG's two sentences which I quoted may help in that regard.

Second, why worry about how much time it will take? As you say, you may "need a full year, at least". That is (again) your guilt talking. You may amaze yourself to find that it only took three months, or, who knows, it may take two years instead of one. The concern about the length of time is just one aspect of getting over your stress. As you are able to relax more, and more completely, I think that concern will fade away.

In the long run, you may find that you wish to be "useful" again in some less committed ways than a full-time job. If that turns out to be the case, you will be able to take steps in that direction, but why worry about it now?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-28-2015, 10:56 PM
 
48,516 posts, read 83,978,960 times
Reputation: 18050
Burn out means different things to different people. Some teach or do other jobs and never burn out as its called. Stress is also relative and individual. Nothing like say the terror our troops go thru. I think weary of doing job and stress relief is instant.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-29-2015, 06:33 AM
 
Location: Whereever we have our RV parked
8,805 posts, read 7,715,872 times
Reputation: 15092
We have over a year before we retire. I already told her, we are going to do nothing that smacks of "work" for 2 years after. We plan to travel and visit family once we get all our affairs in order.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-29-2015, 07:05 AM
 
Location: Ft. Myers
17,628 posts, read 11,194,230 times
Reputation: 37672
"Right now I just want to spend my days useless and unproductive. The most exciting thing I did today was to photograph a green anole lizard as he changed from green to brown, and I got tremendous joy from that.

Is it okay to be useless for a while? "

Absolutely !! That is the great part about retiring, nowhere to be, no one waiting for you, no pressures, zip, zilch, zero !

I've retired twice (back working again, but that was simply because I got bored) and there were parts about retirement I LOVED. No alarm clock in the morning, got to nap on the couch curled up with a cat or two, caught up on Judge Judy, had all day to run errands, and just having no set schedule and no one looking for me to be anywhere.

Enjoy your time, don't feel you have to be "productive", and when you get bored with that you will find other things to occupy your day.

Don
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-29-2015, 07:30 AM
 
Location: Southwestern, USA
15,411 posts, read 12,154,360 times
Reputation: 16636
Wow, teacher stress and burn out.
May I suggest...each morning saying something like,
"It's over! I'm free!!" And then place a deliberate smile on your face
before you get outta bed.
Something about the brain and a smile changes chemistry or something....
try it for a few days...you'll see.
Then, plan on doing 'something' each day that is wildly fun for you...could
be going to a matinee... getting coffee with a good book in a
coffee place that has comfy chairs....just 'something' different and freeing.
This will retrain your mind that life was meant to be enjoyed and pleasant.

And please, watch a few comedies/movies...you need to laugh and get your body used
to this new freedom! And to get memories of your old stress washed away!

You might even say words like, "Humans were meant to enjoy life...
Humans were meant to enjoy life, I came here to enjoy life."
Just to help you become the new you.


Your life and happiness come first now.


(25 years ago ...my first therapy session...the therapist sent me home
to say each day till next visit...."Susan's" (my) needs come first. 10 xs a day...huh?
Well, after about 3 days...I recognized what those needs WERE, instead of taking
care of everyone else...old issue. Those repetitious phrases actually work, who knew?)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-29-2015, 08:05 AM
 
5,397 posts, read 6,542,446 times
Reputation: 10477
six months I guess

The first 3 months or so I was compulsively cleaning, sorting, downsizing, repairing, etc the house. Then I traveled for three months.

Then I felt up to par
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top