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Old 01-31-2015, 11:10 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,988,950 times
Reputation: 15649

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I don't know why some posts here are suggesting life insurance, that's a loose bet. First of all, at our age it's not easy to get for the first time. Second, you have to pass a physical with flying colors, administered by the ins co nurse. Sounds like the OP's DH would never pass this, given his condition. Hopefully he already has a policy with some years left on it, or a whole life.
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Old 01-31-2015, 11:19 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,988,950 times
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I just explained to my sister this morning (the one who is letting herself go to pot due to depression, and that doesn't mean weed) that it's not early death she has to worry about. It's possibly years (and years) of being so incapacitated that she would not be able to do anything, and would suffer terribly all those years. I emphasized SUFFER. As in both physical and mental pain, and I also said I would not be one to put her out of her misery (nor would her dh do that). The prospect of prolonged suffering is a fate worse than death. I think she got my point. Perhaps, OP, you might impress this upon your dh.

I have learned quite well that one can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink. There has to be self-motivation, or there will be increased resistance as well as ill effects for the one trying to help. I've also noticed a few spouses who worsen with their habits while seeing their spouse doing very well. It almost seems like a kind of resentment on their part. Just my 2 cents.
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Old 01-31-2015, 11:24 AM
 
674 posts, read 840,365 times
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A real heart to heart. Many men on this board talk openly about taking care of their wives when they are gone financially (Mathjak and Nice4 kudos to you 2 in particular for this). It shows the love you have for your spouses. The same is true of taking care of your health and body. We don't know your relationship with your husband and the dynamics, but if you have a committed relationship I would think he would try to make an attempt to change, even a little bit at a time. I am sorry that you are making plans to go ahead with your life without him. I hope a serious heartfelt talk helps. Best of luck. You derserve to have him around for a long time enjoying all that life has to offer.
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Old 01-31-2015, 01:19 PM
 
11,270 posts, read 8,439,906 times
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Someone here at CDF recommended How to Reverse the Affects of Diabetes by Dr. Barnard. I got the book and quickly went through it, loudly touting the awesome things it says to my borderline, predisposed, bellyfat guy. (he turns 50 tomorrow) As suggested in the book we tried the eating plan for THREE WEEKS and I worked my backside off finding recipes, shopping and fixing great tasting stuff. In those 3 weeks the fat melted off quickly and he lost 12 pounds. Recently (because he backslid) we did it again. I posted a journal here about it. This time we're getting back to the gym to help keep it off and he's really doing better.

Sometimes people don't know how bad they feel until they change their ways and feel better. Don't give up on him. See if he will agree to 3 weeks of culinary adventure?
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Old 01-31-2015, 01:27 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,502,154 times
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The 17 Day Diet by Dr. Mike Moreno also works and is good for 10 pounds in the first 17-day phase.
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Old 01-31-2015, 01:56 PM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
5,790 posts, read 4,846,494 times
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I wasn't suggesting that OP buy life insurance, just start the discussion about it, hoping that the concept of his early exit from this world might cause him to think about the idea that his health could be failing soon and that he is still well enough to turn it around. Of course his life, and their life together, is worth more than money can buy, but sometimes thinking about dying young (well, youngish anyway) is what it takes to shake someone up.

If we weren't both going to be financially okay in the event of either death, we would take out a policy for each of us. Fortunately we're covered by survivor benefits, but ensuring that neither partner is left in financial mess after a partner's death is a very loving thing to do.
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Old 01-31-2015, 02:03 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,502,154 times
Reputation: 29076
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
I wasn't suggesting that OP buy life insurance, just start the discussion about it, hoping that the concept of his early exit from this world might cause him to think about the idea that his health could be failing soon and that he is still well enough to turn it around. Of course his life, and their life together, is worth more than money can buy, but sometimes thinking about dying young (well, youngish anyway) is what it takes to shake someone up.

If we weren't both going to be financially okay in the event of either death, we would take out a policy for each of us. Fortunately we're covered by survivor benefits, but ensuring that neither partner is left in financial mess after a partner's death is a very loving thing to do.
Guess that could serve as a wakeup call!
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Old 01-31-2015, 02:09 PM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
9,245 posts, read 8,313,712 times
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Take him to the doctor and make sure he isn't suffering from depression which is what it sounds like to me.
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Old 01-31-2015, 02:30 PM
 
Location: Central IL
15,253 posts, read 8,548,360 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blueherons View Post
Take him to the doctor and make sure he isn't suffering from depression which is what it sounds like to me.
Yes, I agree. The problem is that the OP has dragged him to the nutritionist and the doctor several times already, to no avail. Going again? To talk about depression? I'm sure he'll jump on that and get into therapy and antidepressants.

I know we read men about their women "letting themselves go" but men seem much worse than this because they not only gain weight and stop moving, they also hate going to the doctor.

My guy is seven years younger than me...you'd think I'd have it made! Nope - he's gradually put on weight so that now he should lose 50 pounds...won't even go on a walk with me...and now keeps putting his back out because of all the belly fat! The worse he feels the more he thinks he'll feel better if he "takes it easier"! And I have at least 10 years until retirement - I can hardly wait to see what shape he is then!
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Old 01-31-2015, 03:03 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,988,950 times
Reputation: 15649
For those with a belly, read Wheat Belly by Dr Wm Davis, a cardiologist. It will blow your mind.
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