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Old 02-02-2015, 05:54 PM
 
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Because we can. I'm doing the 6 month/6 month thing, the weather is always GREAT

 
Old 02-02-2015, 06:28 PM
 
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I kind of agree with both sides. However, I do not think it is ever fair for older retirees who move away to guilt the family into visiting them. THEY moved away. So if they cannot afford to travel up when they are the ones who have unlimited time on their hands that is just too bad. Families are on very very tight budgets, often times we only get 2 weeks of vacation. What if the grandkids don't want to visit grandparents every single year in a retirement community...

The snowbird option to me seems like a good overall compromise.
 
Old 02-02-2015, 06:41 PM
 
Location: Omaha, Nebraska
7,319 posts, read 4,167,038 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gardener34 View Post
What if the grandkids don't want to visit grandparents every single year in a retirement community...
Too bad, so sad. Trust me, they'll live.

(You just described pretty much every one of my childhood family vacations - well, sans the retirement community, that is. Mom and Dad thought visiting the older relatives outweighed going to Disneyland, and my brother and I just had to deal. And from an adult POV, my parents were right.)

Quote:
The snowbird option to me seems like a good overall compromise.
And the snowbird option is the one the OP's aging relatives seem to be choosing. Best of both worlds (and they can always move back to CT full-time if snow-birding doesn't work out the way they expect it will).
 
Old 02-02-2015, 06:44 PM
 
8,860 posts, read 5,141,353 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aredhel View Post
They're probably thinking that no one has ever broken a hip by slipping on the heat. They're probably also thinking that their big, beautiful house is probably TOO big and TOO much work for their older years. So why not sell the big house and buy a condo/townhouse up north and a condo/townhouse down south and enjoy the best of both places?
Why shouldn't they do what they want?
 
Old 02-02-2015, 06:47 PM
 
Location: Omaha, Nebraska
7,319 posts, read 4,167,038 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Petunia 100 View Post
Why shouldn't they do what they want?
Precisely. They want to spend the cold months in a warm place, and the warm months back up north (which is also when the grandkids will be out of school). As long as they can afford to maintain two homes, what's wrong with that? It's not like they're abandoning the rest of the family forever.
 
Old 02-02-2015, 06:50 PM
 
41 posts, read 29,611 times
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To me, the important thing to remember is that the decision is not necessarily forever. If they try the 6 month in Florida and 6 months up North and find that the balance is not quite right, they can either adjust it so that they are spending 9 months up north and 3 months in Florida, for instance, or even decide to move back up north. I know a woman who decided to remain in her family home in NJ because her son and DIL and their kids had moved next door and she wanted to be near the grandkids. Now that she is older and the grandkids are teens and young adults, she rarely sees them The young adults have moved to other states, the teens are busy with their lives and she is stuck in a large home up there. So being near the kids does not mean you will see them that often, though it does make it easier to attend weddings and other family events. In addition with technology such as Skype and facetime and email and the ability to call frequently, it is easier to keep in touch than it used to be.
 
Old 02-02-2015, 07:10 PM
 
Location: Connecticut
26,344 posts, read 42,320,780 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aredhel View Post
Go back and reread my post, carefully this time. A lot of older people come to HATE winter, and the issues that come with it. Why should they put up with it if they're sick of it?
They cross country ski so it is not the weather. Besides if it was, would their dislike of weather override their love of family? Jay.
 
Old 02-02-2015, 07:23 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,497,588 times
Reputation: 29076
Goodness! Déjà vu. My wife and I put up with this going on seven years ago. Between us we have seven children. All five of our daughters and their families lived where we lived our until retirement. Can you imagine the drama? When we announced that we were moving 2,000 miles away because we could and we wanted to we caught tons of flack. No one seemed to consider the fact that it's our lives, not theirs.

For the first several years we did all the traveling to visit. Significant health issues then struck both of us so long trips, whether by car or plane, are no longer an attractive option. Sorry about that. Now it's up to them. We did our part.
 
Old 02-02-2015, 07:23 PM
 
Location: ☀️ SWFL ⛱ 🌴
2,435 posts, read 1,672,610 times
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My MIL snowbirds in FL. It's her me-time. She goes on day trips, cruises, luncheons and club activitieswith friends.
When she goes back North, it's house and yard work at her home, babysitting great grandkids, driving great grandkids to band practice, grandkids to work, etc. A granddaughter bought a home last year and she was there helping to hang a new storm door and other repairs. She has Thanks-mas before she leaves after Halloween. This is Thanksgiving dinner she prepares and Christmas presents for the family.

She is 85 and deserves every bit of time and joy she gets in FL, she deserves it and a medal of honor.
 
Old 02-02-2015, 07:23 PM
 
Location: Omaha, Nebraska
7,319 posts, read 4,167,038 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JayCT View Post
They cross country ski so it is not the weather.
If they're talking about spending the winter in Florida, it IS the weather. They're coming to dislike it enough to give up a hobby to get away from it.

Quote:
Besides if it was, would their dislike of weather override their love of family?
Only a young person could ask that question.

Just how much time are you ACTUALLY spending with them on a regular basis? I bet it's a lot less than you think. And as the kids grow older, they'll be more interested in hanging out with their friends than with Granny and Gramps. So why shouldn't they move?

Loving your family doesn't require being with them 100% of the time. And you're question can just as easily be reversed: why don't YOU move to Florida to be with them, if keeping the family together is of such critical importance?
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