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Old 03-05-2015, 10:27 AM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,005 posts, read 54,523,130 times
Reputation: 66355

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Quote:
Originally Posted by AZDesertBrat View Post
And THAT is the truth! lol I have to laugh when I remember having my life all planned and mapped out at the age of 17. I knew exactly what I wanted and how it was going to be. Very idealistic, starry eyed, dreamer kid. lol For some reason I never took into account that 'other people' in my life might have some say in it, not agree with me or just not see things my way. I made plans and 'they' laughed! lol
Oh yeah. I never wanted a career. I wanted to get married and have kids and be a homemaker. That's all I wanted to do.

I did eventually find a husband, not a good one, but the only shot I had at getting married, so I took it. Bad move, except that I did get a great daughter out of the deal. Never got to have more children, never got to have a home of my own (until I got a condo at age 52), never got to marry or have a real relationship again.

And I've got this pretty decent job that has supported me and comes with great health benefits and a pension, even though I never went to college or set out to have a career. I was just always in the right place at the right time and got promoted and learned what to do and it worked out for me. I am thankful that part went OK for me since the rest of life didn't.

These were not MY plans whatsoever!!!!!
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Old 03-05-2015, 10:38 AM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,612 posts, read 9,676,241 times
Reputation: 10950
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
Oh yeah. I never wanted a career. I wanted to get married and have kids and be a homemaker. That's all I wanted to do.

I did eventually find a husband, not a good one, but the only shot I had at getting married, so I took it. Bad move, except that I did get a great daughter out of the deal. Never got to have more children, never got to have a home of my own (until I got a condo at age 52), never got to marry or have a real relationship again.

And I've got this pretty decent job that has supported me and comes with great health benefits and a pension, even though I never went to college or set out to have a career. I was just always in the right place at the right time and got promoted and learned what to do and it worked out for me. I am thankful that part went OK for me since the rest of life didn't.

These were not MY plans whatsoever!!!!!
That was me, exactly! It's the way I grew up, it's the way I "knew" and it was what I wanted. Well, life threw me a few curveballs but I did get four pretty great kids out of it. I did get married again, more times than any smart person ever would, but have come to the conclusion that my 'picker' was badly broken and gave up on that. I've owned several homes, was a single mom a good deal of my kids growing up lives, and have concluded that I always do better on my own than with a partner. I don't believe I've made a really bad decision for myself in many years. That may be partly because I can think something through for two years before I make a "decision". lol

It really is odd how our plans can take such drastic detours. Somehow it always works out though whether we planned it or not. Once we accept that, we CAN make plans from where we are now. I certainly never planned on working and "career" was just a word I read somewhere.
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Old 03-05-2015, 11:20 AM
 
Location: USA
1,815 posts, read 2,242,275 times
Reputation: 4139
Quote:
Originally Posted by modhatter View Post
I agree and would love to see a mandatory class offered in high school, called "Life", in which all the kids are introduced to IRA's, 401K's, the art of saving, compounding and living below your means, and the importance of starting early to prepare oneself for their later years. Kind of a Dave Ramsey 101.

I think such a class could prove invaluable for many, and certainly give them good fundamental facts to better prepare for their working years as they begin their working career. Then we should have "Advanced Life 102" in college, for more in depth study to further ingrain the importance and better prepare our young people.

Math, science etc., is important, but how can schools not recognize the great importance associated with teaching kids such important real life skills early on.

I had this class in high school and I think a lot of schools teach it, but most kids don't listen.

I've worked full time since 16, put myself through college, and most of my life I've worked two jobs, never had the option of having a pension. I've always put money away and once the money was put into one of my accounts, that was it -- it no longer existed. I've never touched a penny of it no matter what emergency happened. I've watched my friends dip into their 401k accounts, drain savings for things as trivial as concert tickets and vacations, and run up credit card debt bigger than any retirement account they will ever own.

Even though I am not retired or near it (yet), I read this forum looking for the people who are single, have no family to fall back on, are not millionaires or holding 2 and 3 pensions, to hear their stories. I want to thank them. You've given me hope that I can get there, maybe even sooner than I originally thought, and I will be fine and I will finally have a life I can enjoy.
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Old 03-05-2015, 12:25 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,471,910 times
Reputation: 29071
Quote:
Originally Posted by AZDesertBrat View Post
That was me, exactly! It's the way I grew up, it's the way I "knew" and it was what I wanted. Well, life threw me a few curveballs but I did get four pretty great kids out of it. I did get married again, more times than any smart person ever would, but have come to the conclusion that my 'picker' was badly broken and gave up on that. I've owned several homes, was a single mom a good deal of my kids growing up lives, and have concluded that I always do better on my own than with a partner. I don't believe I've made a really bad decision for myself in many years. That may be partly because I can think something through for two years before I make a "decision". lol
Are you sure we're not married and just forgot it?

My wife always said that until we got together late in life her 'man-picker' was broken. Two marriages to losers convinced of that and despite having two children during the second one, or maybe because of it since the girls' father never did really work, and never paid child support after she left and divorced him, it was time to go. So she had to embark on the adventure of being a single, working mom (she'd always worked since age 15 anyway) and also concluded that men weren't worth the trouble and she was better off without one.

Thankfully, we met at work and in time became work friends because she admired my work ethic, knowledge and skills and respected me as I did her. It was five years and following a divorce over two years before that I finally asked her out and after some trust issues and hesitation despite our friendship - I was a man after all - she finally agreed to a date. The rest is history.
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Old 03-05-2015, 12:48 PM
 
8,822 posts, read 5,123,147 times
Reputation: 10086
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
Are you sure we're not married and just forgot it?

My wife always said that until we got together late in life her 'man-picker' was broken. Two marriages to losers convinced of that and despite having two children during the second one, or maybe because of it since the girls' father never did really work, and never paid child support after she left and divorced him, it was time to go. So she had to embark on the adventure of being a single, working mom (she'd always worked since age 15 anyway) and also concluded that men weren't worth the trouble and she was better off without one.

Thankfully, we met at work and in time became work friends because she admired my work ethic, knowledge and skills and respected me as I did her. It was five years and following a divorce over two years before that I finally asked her out and after some trust issues and hesitation despite our friendship - I was a man after all - she finally agreed to a date. The rest is history.
That's a sweet story. I hope the two of you enjoy many happy years together.
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Old 03-05-2015, 12:49 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,969,510 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post

Thankfully, we met at work and in time became work friends because she admired my work ethic, knowledge and skills and respected me as I did her. It was five years and following a divorce over two years before that I finally asked her out and after some trust issues and hesitation despite our friendship - I was a man after all - she finally agreed to a date. The rest is history.
Aw, where's my Kleenex?


ETA: beautiful story
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Old 03-05-2015, 01:14 PM
 
Location: Orange County
1,667 posts, read 1,868,226 times
Reputation: 1394
I have retirement fund, stocks and social security will be over 2k per month. I would like to retire early but worry how much is enough? I do not want to be limited after retirement that I can't even enjoy myself. If it is going to be like that I would just keep working all my life.
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Old 03-05-2015, 01:26 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,005 posts, read 54,523,130 times
Reputation: 66355
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
Are you sure we're not married and just forgot it?

My wife always said that until we got together late in life her 'man-picker' was broken. Two marriages to losers convinced of that and despite having two children during the second one, or maybe because of it since the girls' father never did really work, and never paid child support after she left and divorced him, it was time to go. So she had to embark on the adventure of being a single, working mom (she'd always worked since age 15 anyway) and also concluded that men weren't worth the trouble and she was better off without one.

Thankfully, we met at work and in time became work friends because she admired my work ethic, knowledge and skills and respected me as I did her. It was five years and following a divorce over two years before that I finally asked her out and after some trust issues and hesitation despite our friendship - I was a man after all - she finally agreed to a date. The rest is history.
I agree with the others. What a nice story!
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Old 03-05-2015, 02:31 PM
 
8,822 posts, read 5,123,147 times
Reputation: 10086
Quote:
Originally Posted by jet757f View Post
I have retirement fund, stocks and social security will be over 2k per month. I would like to retire early but worry how much is enough? I do not want to be limited after retirement that I can't even enjoy myself. If it is going to be like that I would just keep working all my life.
How much are you spending now? Do you know where all of your money goes? What changes in your spending do you expect upon retirement?

If you start your own thread, I'll bet you will get more feedback.
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Old 03-05-2015, 02:51 PM
 
981 posts, read 1,093,502 times
Reputation: 1479
this is really a nice post to read (below)

I also am retired on a very small income, and - I am not quite as content as you are, No more Snow,
but I appreciate yr attitude.
I cannot have a cat cuz I do not have sufficient income to pay for vetinanary care. This saddens me.
But I am fortunate to have medicare for most of my medical care.
It is currently paying for physical therapy for my torn meniscus, without it, I can't imagine what I would do.

I have enough food to eat. I miss not eating out and movie and buying clothes, but...none of that is essential. But it would be nice!

I would like more $ to a) buy supplements and buy organic food
and b) buy books.
(libraries are wonderful institutions but they do not have the books that I want to read.)

So I get by.
I wish I had made different decisions in my life that would have given me more financial security... but there it is, life is that way, and I made my choices.
I had a "wild" youth, enjoyed myself, and now I have some regrets, but not major ones.

so I thank you No more Snow, your post is very helpful in getting and keeping a good perspective on things.
wish you well.

Enjoy the oceans and the forests!

(added) also agree with you - the senior housing where I live - I have a small one bedroom, but it has everything I need. The bldg is kept up, it is clean & safe, the residents are friendly.








Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe View Post
You must just be missing them. I've posted that I'm on SSI and retired on a very limited income. I am in a subsidized senior apartment that is a very tiny studio. I have Medi-Cal, and have a great dog, and moved to the northern-most town on the coast of CA, where it is very affordable, and I can now walk to the ocean, and drive to the redwood forest just 7 miles away.

I can't afford to go out to eat, or travel. But, I don't need to. The trick is to get over not being able to have the retirement of your dreams. Once I accepted the limits of my budget, I'm actually quite happy with what I have. And I think it's important for seniors to know that there is a lot of subsidized senior housing out there, and my experience so far in two senior subsidized apartment buildings in two different lower COL towns in CA, is that they are very well-maintained and safe. They are inspected by the government agencies that fund them, and they make sure we're in a safe and well-maintained place.

If you get on the waiting lists, eventually you will get called. You might not be able to live in the city of your dreams, because of the COL or length of the waiting lists. But, if you can get over that, too (I originally hoped to live in the SF Bay Area, but couldn't make that work), and you're flexible, you can find somewhere nice. It turns out I love it here, where I finally ended up. And I'm already making friends.

I became disabled, so retired early. But, if people want to retire early, and they can change their idea of how much is enough, they can do it. It's hard to let go of a vision of retirement you've had for many years.

At any rate, poor retirees can be happy, too. You just need to accept what you can't change and change the things you can, and once you get the best situation you can, be happy with what you've got.

You see, I'm pretty broke, but I can choose every day whether to walk my dog by the ocean or in the redwood forest. Today we walked by the ocean. I also took some stuff to sell at the flea market and chatted with interesting people all day, and sold home-made muffins and some other junk I had. Came home and took the dog for a walk by the ocean and chatted with some cute kids who were collecting shells.

I consider myself to be lucky, now. But, I had to let go of being able to live near my daughter in the SF Bay Area. You don't get to have everything you want, but you can still have it pretty good.
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