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Old 03-06-2015, 10:56 PM
 
1,734 posts, read 1,950,095 times
Reputation: 3901

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To Artangel - you may want to consider enquiring at your local Social Security office to see if you might be able to base your Social Security on your ex's earnings. He has to be retired and getting his own SS first - it is to be hoped that he is older than you, not younger, lol! If he was the high earner, it is likely that you may be better off. Best, Jane
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Old 03-06-2015, 10:59 PM
 
4,173 posts, read 2,939,402 times
Reputation: 2629
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
There has been quite a bit, over the years, of "I saved from age 20, what's wrong with you"; "I and the wife have LTC at thousands of dollars per year, why don't you"; "you must have spent all your money on ipads, iphones, flatscreen TVs, brand new cars, and vacations, you idiot." There has been so much assumption around this I don't see how you could have missed it, and not from just one poster.
I think there are those who post, as you say, in a condescending or arrogant fashion. Many ignoring that life (luck?) may have favored them. But some, just stayed the course, and it was a struggle and required discipline (and some luck too, which they acknowledge). They do deserve respect and that, in no way, reflects on people who have not been able to capitalize on opportunity or been given the a bad hand of cards. We should try and see this distinction, because these are two very distinct groups.

Also, there are those who squandered every opportunity afforded them vs, those who never got any opportunities thrown their way (or life took a bad turn). These too are distinctly different groups of people. The first group makes it much harder for the second group, which is a sad state of affairs! We need to not let our "assumptions" overshadow the underlying reality.
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Old 03-07-2015, 04:38 AM
 
8,204 posts, read 11,918,472 times
Reputation: 18019
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe View Post
Odd that you would take my post personally. I was addressing the people-at-large-in-the-world-who-say-you're-welcome-to-people-who-need-government-assistance.

Nothing deeper or personal or more evil than that. But, if you are one of the above who say "you're welcome" to people like me, then, yes, my post addresses you, too.
Wow, that is one strange reaction to my post. First of all, I didn't take anything personally; I simply made an observation that in a thread of over 200 posts, only one close-minded, self-centered person said "you're welcome" and all of a sudden that became plural as if many posters were bashing people in your position. I then noted that the only real "bashing" going on in this thread was the hurling of insults by several people at those who are relatively well off.

Secondly, and even more strange is the comment at the end of your post basically accusing me of being one of the "You're welcome" posters. Considering I called out the one poster in this thread who expressed such thoughts and wrote - - - in the post that you quoted and responded to btw - - - that he was close-minded and self-centered for thinking the way he does, why on earth would you think that I could have the same thoughts or ascribe to a similar philosophy? I may be missing something, but that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

And if you choose to respond to this comment, whatever you do, please do not come back with a weak-ass "but I only said if you are one of the above who say you're welcome."

Yeah, right.

(And, yes, I couldn't help but take this obvious and direct insult personally.)
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Old 03-07-2015, 04:54 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,982,141 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by shaker281 View Post
I think there are those who post, as you say, in a condescending or arrogant fashion. Many ignoring that life (luck?) may have favored them. But some, just stayed the course, and it was a struggle and required discipline (and some luck too, which they acknowledge). They do deserve respect and that, in no way, reflects on people who have not been able to capitalize on opportunity or been given the a bad hand of cards. We should try and see this distinction, because these are two very distinct groups.

Also, there are those who squandered every opportunity afforded them vs, those who never got any opportunities thrown their way (or life took a bad turn). These too are distinctly different groups of people. The first group makes it much harder for the second group, which is a sad state of affairs! We need to not let our "assumptions" overshadow the underlying reality.
There are not two distinct groups of people in anything. There is an impressively broad and complex spectrum in between the two poles you cite, above. I agree with your final sentence, which is easy to do for anyone at any point on the spectrum.

On that spectrum, it's not just those given a 'bad hand of cards' who may have not made a fortune for retirement. There are other reasons besides bad luck and stupid choices. Such as, I did what I did because that's all I knew how to do given my education and resources and I did it with all my heart and soul and never slacked off and so be it.
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Old 03-07-2015, 04:58 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,982,141 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by northwesty View Post
A lot of strongly held ideas and emotions have been expressed here.
It is a shame that it seems to have become somewhat personal.

Not really my place to suggest it, but it might be time to suspend this thread and let things cool off a bit.....?
A public forum airs personal views and accommodates debate. As long as posters don't personally attack, cooling things off only brings the discussion back to safe and boring. I respect everyone's opinions though many don't agree with mine, and they are well written.
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Old 03-07-2015, 04:59 AM
 
71,651 posts, read 71,777,271 times
Reputation: 49240
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post

On that spectrum, it's not just those given a 'bad hand of cards' who may have not made a fortune for retirement. There are other reasons besides bad luck and stupid choices. Such as, I did what I did because that's all I knew how to do given my education and resources and I did it with all my heart and soul and never slacked off and so be it.



so you are saying ,it wasn't someones fault because they didn't seek advice or actually take the time to learn what they should have done ?

don't we see this with parents who malnutrician kids feeding them what they think is proper instead of learning what is proper or asking for help so they can learn what is proper ?

in the music world we have a saying . it isn't practice that makes perfect ---it is perfect practice that makes perfect , anything less may be just spinning your wheels not elevating yourself at all no matter how much you practice. that is why you seek out instruction.

Last edited by mathjak107; 03-07-2015 at 05:13 AM..
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Old 03-07-2015, 05:12 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,982,141 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by mathjak107 View Post
so you are saying ,it wasn't someones fault because they didn't seek advice or actually take the time to learn what they should have done ?

don't we see this with parents who malnutrician kids feeding them what they think is proper instead of learning what is proper or asking for help so they can learn what is proper ?
The word 'fault' is your unnecessary stumbling block. The word deals with the past, not the present and future, and offers nothing constructive. If you could get over the blame game, a lot of us could hear you a whole lot better and weed out this distracting stuff. Your information is valuable enough, wihtout the constant editorializing. I say this from respect for what you bring to the forum.
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Old 03-07-2015, 05:20 AM
 
71,651 posts, read 71,777,271 times
Reputation: 49240
many people don't like hearing they had anything to do with their results. it is always going to be something , someone else or something out their control that caused negative results.

yeah , we all get it not everyone was able to control or avoid what happened to them financially but in the real world not everyone is innocent either.

in fact far more were responsible for their outcomes whether they want to believe it or not.

while i do feel bad for those that actually tried to do things right and had things go wrong i don't for those that intentionally comitted their own financial suiicide.

i sugar coat nothing nor do i walk on egg sheils for fear someone may interpret what i am saying wrong . i blame no one individually as i can't say who is at fault and who is not. but the facts are what they are and the truth is the truth where it applys whether some wants to hear it or not.


the bigger question is what do with all those who have not succeeded do regardless of what caused it. what caused it at this point is water under the bridge.

to that i posted some solutions such as working longer , which can improve a poor situation greatly.

if those that do not have enough to retire want a light at the end of the tunnel and they are able to work their is no better answer for them for the reasons i stated in that post..

of course the reply's were , work longer ? heavin forbid . just look at the reply's that one of the most effective means of dealing with a poor situation and reversing it can get where one has that option. that alone can make up shortfalls worth hundreds of thousands of dollars .

it was like i told them to sell their grankids.

despite that fact i said where you can i got reply after reply about how working longer is not an option or shouldn't be an option ..

i stand by every comment i made despite how some want to interpret it.

Last edited by mathjak107; 03-07-2015 at 06:08 AM..
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Old 03-07-2015, 05:29 AM
 
7,982 posts, read 11,665,473 times
Reputation: 10473
I'll come outof the closet. Been working since I was 15. Went into the service. Went back into the Guard, did 24 years total. Have always worked, tried to save. Never once bought a "toy" (boat etc.), expensive vacation, nada. used cars, bought a couple of houses which only lost me money. Worked my way through college in my late 20s, early 30s. Got a pretty good job, but late in the game, around 35.

58, don't have enough to retire. Any retirement will be a frugal one. Havent' done anything but lost money in my self managed retirement 401K.

I did all the right things, didn't make any huge mistakes.
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Old 03-07-2015, 05:34 AM
 
71,651 posts, read 71,777,271 times
Reputation: 49240
just a question ? there is not one diversified mutual fund that would be in a 401k that lost money to date over any long term period of time so why the lost money ?

usually the reasons are overly aggreesivly invested , mismatched long term investments with short term needs for the money , instead of rebalancing and staying the course as investing requires , they bailed out and ran.,.

just curious why you lost money ?

Last edited by mathjak107; 03-07-2015 at 05:44 AM..
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