U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-05-2015, 08:04 AM
 
29,782 posts, read 34,871,258 times
Reputation: 11705

Advertisements

This is both philosophical and very real at least to me. We have been retired over seven years and I no longer really feel the word retirement is appropriate at this stage. We previously in our lives went through various stages, involving concepts like youth, teens, young adults, middle age and now senior. Likewise we went through various activity stages like Elem, Middle/Junior and Senior High. Some went through the college stage and others went to the work or military stage, Marriage, Child Rearing, etc etc. As we eventually put some time between ourselves and our previous stages did we really consider ourselves in the context of what a previous stage or what and where our life is now. Working and having worked is not part of my identity anymore yet retirement is a definition of having stopped working. At this point Whoope so what! Do house wives retire? The unemployed unable to find work? The disabled unable to work? What about trust fund babies? They define themselves in terms of their current life style. Why not us? I am what my current life is and not what it has been over multiple decades. So does anyone else feel that way?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-05-2015, 08:26 AM
 
1,780 posts, read 2,167,266 times
Reputation: 5877
Fred Rogers said, "You're not just the age you are; you're all the ages you've ever been."

So, you're all of those "stages," including retirement.

The term "retirement" is just another pigeon-hole word we use to define folks in a hurry. It's a pretty broad term, and encompasses young retirees (late 40s) to centenarians.

The Eskimos really do have 50+ words for snow. Maybe Americans need 50+ words to define retirement!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-05-2015, 08:46 AM
 
673 posts, read 2,028,978 times
Reputation: 875
I saw someone on TV not long ago state that he was not worried about what people expected or thought of him, because he was in the "last quarter."

It doesn't matter whether you went to college, whether you were a housewife, a trust fund baby, or president of the US, your time is limited. After approximately age 64, you are in the last quarter. We don't know whether we will be here until the end of the game or not. Just enjoy every day, and don't wonder where you fit in to it all, just being here is enough.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-05-2015, 08:49 AM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,618 posts, read 9,684,845 times
Reputation: 10965
Quote:
Originally Posted by TuborgP View Post
This is both philosophical and very real at least to me. We have been retired over seven years and I no longer really feel the word retirement is appropriate at this stage. We previously in our lives went through various stages, involving concepts like youth, teens, young adults, middle age and now senior. Likewise we went through various activity stages like Elem, Middle/Junior and Senior High. Some went through the college stage and others went to the work or military stage, Marriage, Child Rearing, etc etc. As we eventually put some time between ourselves and our previous stages did we really consider ourselves in the context of what a previous stage or what and where our life is now. Working and having worked is not part of my identity anymore yet retirement is a definition of having stopped working. At this point Whoope so what! Do house wives retire? The unemployed unable to find work? The disabled unable to work? What about trust fund babies? They define themselves in terms of their current life style. Why not us? I am what my current life is and not what it has been over multiple decades. So does anyone else feel that way?
Well...I don't know if my brain is quite up to thinking this 'deep' so early in the day but I'll try. lol

Life is nothing less than a series of "phases" and one thing I've noticed over the years is that I go through different phases, on average, every ten years. Back in 1976 I read a book titled Passages written by Gail Sheehy. It covered all the 'passages' in life we go through from birth to about mid 50s. A few years later she wrote The Silent Passage covering the rest of those years. Really interesting and I found myself nodding "yes" a lot as I read them. I absolutely recognized each 'passage' that she wrote about. AND, at 72 I have very recently started on yet another phase/passage in my life. Right at ten years since the last one.

As for the "retirement" thing...I guess I'd rather say "I'm retired" for the rest of my life as opposed to saying "Just waiting to die now". That IS what comes after retirement, right? So you're lifestyle is still retired but is it really your "identity"?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-05-2015, 08:49 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,740,386 times
Reputation: 32304
Quote:
Originally Posted by TuborgP View Post
This is both philosophical and very real at least to me. We have been retired over seven years and I no longer really feel the word retirement is appropriate at this stage. We previously in our lives went through various stages, involving concepts like youth, teens, young adults, middle age and now senior. Likewise we went through various activity stages like Elem, Middle/Junior and Senior High. Some went through the college stage and others went to the work or military stage, Marriage, Child Rearing, etc etc. As we eventually put some time between ourselves and our previous stages did we really consider ourselves in the context of what a previous stage or what and where our life is now. Working and having worked is not part of my identity anymore yet retirement is a definition of having stopped working. At this point Whoope so what! Do house wives retire? The unemployed unable to find work? The disabled unable to work? What about trust fund babies? They define themselves in terms of their current life style. Why not us? I am what my current life is and not what it has been over multiple decades. So does anyone else feel that way?
I can relate, although I don't feel exactly that way. I agree that our current reality is what it is, and there can be various degrees of connection to former realities. I had four major hobby interests (serial, not concurrent) which I pursued with great intensity and which defined me almost as much as my career (playing the trumpet, flying airplanes, riding bicycles, and riding motorcycles). I got good enough at two of the four to make a little money at them. But all four of those major interests have been put aside, and when I think back on them, it seems like they belong to a different lifetime; they are not part of my identity anymore. Yet they are what make the richness of my life - its variety and its sense of achievement.

But working and having worked remain part of my identity to this day. Why? I'm not completely sure. Part of it is probably that my career (teaching) spanned 39 years and covered almost the entire period of the four different intense hobby interests. Part of it is probably that I continued special paid projects related to teaching after my retirement 10 years ago, which means that my teaching has actually spanned 49 years. And part of it is probably that my volunteer activities over the past ten years are also connected with schools; when I go to the five different schools every week (three elementary schools and two middle schools) to read aloud to classes and to conduct lunch time chess clubs, I still feel like a teacher. So, as I draw close to my 71st birthday I still have that teacher identity and I find it fulfilling and gratifying. If I live long enough I will probably put that volunteer work aside as well, but it is hard for me to imagine a life without it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-05-2015, 08:52 AM
 
29,782 posts, read 34,871,258 times
Reputation: 11705
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nausikaa View Post
I saw someone on TV not long ago state that he was not worried about what people expected or thought of him, because he was in the "last quarter."

It doesn't matter whether you went to college, whether you were a housewife, a trust fund baby, or president of the US, your time is limited. After approximately age 64, you are in the last quarter. We don't know whether we will be here until the end of the game or not. Just enjoy every day, and don't wonder where you fit in to it all, just being here is enough.
It isn't a matter of fitting in it is a matter defining yourself as you may have done all your life. It is how we define ourselves now that helps us plan and develop our future. At least for some folks. Others of course not. That is part of the fun of this stage planning and setting the stage for future years. The wife and I are doing that now and it can be fun. Where do we want to live and what do we want to be doing as part of the future recreational cycle. Defining that helps us to plan resource development and allocation. Only a few years to seventy and then we shall see but certainly time to start planning now. All of our situations are different and I of course am responding to mine and your perspective is certainly a good one for you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-05-2015, 08:59 AM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,087 posts, read 54,581,442 times
Reputation: 66481
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nausikaa View Post
I saw someone on TV not long ago state that he was not worried about what people expected or thought of him, because he was in the "last quarter."

It doesn't matter whether you went to college, whether you were a housewife, a trust fund baby, or president of the US, your time is limited. After approximately age 64, you are in the last quarter. We don't know whether we will be here until the end of the game or not. Just enjoy every day, and don't wonder where you fit in to it all, just being here is enough.
My mother was asked a few years ago to do a speech at the town Veteran's Day event to tell what it was like to have lived in town during WWII, re blackouts and shortages, etc., and also what it had been like being married to a disabled WWII vet. She was 82 or 83 at the time.

She was all in a tizzy that they had asked HER to do a speech when, after all, she never even graduated from high school! It always bugged her that she had to leave school to take care of her family members and that she didn't graduate. She felt people looked down on her.

I told her, "Mom, no one involved in this even has any clue whatsoever that you didn't graduate from high school. Most people who know that are DEAD. The ones who are still alive don't care, if they even remember. Just do the speech. What you've got are the MEMORIES of those years, and very few people are still around that have those memories. That's what they want to hear."

She wrote her speech and asked me to read/edit it. I took out exactly two words. She gave her speech and did a great job. I think that's the last time she ever mentioned her lack of a high school diploma, too.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-05-2015, 09:02 AM
 
29,782 posts, read 34,871,258 times
Reputation: 11705
Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
I can relate, although I don't feel exactly that way. I agree that our current reality is what it is, and there can be various degrees of connection to former realities. I had four major hobby interests (serial, not concurrent) which I pursued with great intensity and which defined me almost as much as my career (playing the trumpet, flying airplanes, riding bicycles, and riding motorcycles). I got good enough at two of the four to make a little money at them. But all four of those major interests have been put aside, and when I think back on them, it seems like they belong to a different lifetime; they are not part of my identity anymore. Yet they are what make the richness of my life - its variety and its sense of achievement.

But working and having worked remain part of my identity to this day. Why? I'm not completely sure. Part of it is probably that my career (teaching) spanned 39 years and covered almost the entire period of the four different intense hobby interests. Part of it is probably that I continued special paid projects related to teaching after my retirement 10 years ago, which means that my teaching has actually spanned 49 years. And part of it is probably that my volunteer activities over the past ten years are also connected with schools; when I go to the five different schools every week (three elementary schools and two middle schools) to read aloud to classes and to conduct lunch time chess clubs, I still feel like a teacher. So, as I draw close to my 71st birthday I still have that teacher identity and I find it fulfilling and gratifying. If I live long enough I will probably put that volunteer work aside as well, but it is hard for me to imagine a life without it.
ER I was waiting for you to respond either here or in another thread. I really in retirement don't see you as a former teacher. Teaching is only a vehicle for activities that educators hopefully enjoy. The best activity a teacher can engage in is to be inspirational and spur on aspiration in others. Teaching I suspect was a vehicle for you to do that. At this stage of life you are using the chess clubs to continue to be inspirational and hopefully be able to get young people to enhance their aspiration. I see you and MathJak as being very similar in your desire to inspire and encourage others to raise their bar. MJ does it in abundance in this forum and has provided much inspiration to others to aspire to lofty financial goals. You don't bring yours into the forum often as you have your chess clubs as a vehicle. Careers are often a vehicle that allow us to fulfill are instincts, wants and needs. At least a good one does that. You have moved on from teaching and rarely discuss that but are full of vigor and enthusiasm for your Chess Clubs. You in my mind are beyond that work stage and have transitioned to another life that while it may take place in a school is much more focused and limited in scope then teaching. You are free to do the essence of what you wanted to do while working.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-05-2015, 09:08 AM
 
Location: OKLAHOMA
1,784 posts, read 3,618,716 times
Reputation: 954
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nausikaa View Post
I saw someone on TV not long ago state that he was not worried about what people expected or thought of him, because he was in the "last quarter."

It doesn't matter whether you went to college, whether you were a housewife, a trust fund baby, or president of the US, your time is limited. After approximately age 64, you are in the last quarter. We don't know whether we will be here until the end of the game or not. Just enjoy every day, and don't wonder where you fit in to it all, just being here is enough.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-05-2015, 09:33 AM
 
Location: middle tennessee
1,925 posts, read 989,645 times
Reputation: 6931
I think of myself as a crone. That I no longer have to work is just a perk.

For most of my life, I enjoyed my work, but I was always torn between being a mother, and sometimes wife and mother, and work. As my children outgrew me, my husband was ill.

Now, my days are finally my own. I do as I please and find plenty to do. I only think of myself as retired when I'm filling out forms....... or when I'm here
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top