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Old 03-15-2015, 10:00 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,744,100 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AZDesertBrat View Post
Sometimes I think I am very fortunate to NOT have to make any of those decisions and other times I think I've lost my sense of adventure. Growing up was a life of constant change. My parents went where the work was for my dad...or college, before that...and I went to so many different schools I have a hard time remembering them all. Then being married and following a husband all over the country for his job... Change doesn't bother me but the older I get the happier I am that I'm 'settled'.

Lucky for me I really love where I live and always have. I can save my 'adventures' for vacations and road trips. Up until two months ago I HAD considered moving just because I could. In a way I do envy some of you folks your 'adventures'. Moving to a new place, getting to explore and do new things, etc.. New people to meet as well. Maybe I'm just getting too old, tired and lazy to go through it again.
Change for change's sake may be overrated. There is nothing wrong with having roots in a community, and there is nothing wrong with having traditions which one enjoys. For example, about six years ago I became a subscriber to the Los Angles Master Chorale. That means each year, I attend seven or eight subscription concerts at Walt Disney Concert Hall, always on a Sunday night at 7:00 P.M. I plan to keep doing that until I die or am otherwise unable. It is not rigidity; it is something I love.
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Old 03-15-2015, 10:43 AM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,618 posts, read 9,687,274 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
Change for change's sake may be overrated. There is nothing wrong with having roots in a community, and there is nothing wrong with having traditions which one enjoys. For example, about six years ago I became a subscriber to the Los Angles Master Chorale. That means each year, I attend seven or eight subscription concerts at Walt Disney Concert Hall, always on a Sunday night at 7:00 P.M. I plan to keep doing that until I die or am otherwise unable. It is not rigidity; it is something I love.
I've never made a "change for change's sake". It's always been for a reason. I'd have been happy to stay here my whole life but it's been a good thing too, to live different places and different experiences. No regrets here. I do like that I have 'roots' here.

I've been making the effort to go see some of the plays our local troupe puts on. Always enjoyable and I even considered volunteering. They are going to use one of the older buildings in town for a new theatre so that should be fun.
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Old 03-15-2015, 11:17 AM
 
Location: Idaho
1,455 posts, read 1,156,015 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
Change for change's sake may be overrated. There is nothing wrong with having roots in a community, and there is nothing wrong with having traditions which one enjoys.
I agree. It's wonderful to have roots in a community and enjoy doing whatever that you have been doing. However, if you are not contented and don't like certain things or aspect in your life, do something about it, make whatever necessary changes instead of just fretting, being passive and unhappy.

For us, I'd say that we are mostly pretty happy and contented in living here but the winter has been getting harsher and harsher. We are also getting older and my husband has had few health issues in the last few years (ankle, back, knee injuries and eyes problems). I can not see myself to continue climbing on the roof shoveling 2-3' of snow year after year when I am in my 70's, 80's or 90's - The mother of a friend of mine is still doing it in Buffalo NY! She is in her late 80's!

Of course, we can hire people to do the snow removal but what about the constant winter hazards of tripping on ice, slipping and sliding the car all over the road in heavy snow or freezing rain? What are other solutions? Being housebound most of the winter or having two domiciles?

Other factors for us to consider are 1) COL: NY is a high tax state. The cost of heating and cooling is also much higher than in more temperate climate places. 2) Family: Seeing our PILs retired far away from their childrens and my MIL's sad regrets of not seeing her grand children often, we want to retire at a location not too far from our daughter so that we can see her (and hopefully her future children) at least once a month instead of once a year.

So for our situation, it just makes sense to relocate. Like I mention early, we love many things we currently have or do - our house, the location, our rowing club, our airport, the river, mountains, lakes, woods, parks, cultural offerings from nearby local colleges/universities. We are looking for a similar home close to an airport and a rowing club with a milder climate, in a state with lower COL and close to our daughter. It sounds simple enough but to have everything that we want can be impossible so we will have to make compromises & decide on the trade offs.
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Old 03-15-2015, 12:57 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,982,141 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BellaDL View Post
twelvepaw,

Are you sure you are not my identical twin separated at birth? ;-) Your post expressed my thinking, feeling and situation perfectly.

I have always characterized myself as a flexible person who is not afraid of changes and always embrace challenges. I am more than willing to make the big life decision of retiring from my current job of 22 years and relocating to a new place in the opposite coast.

Unlike previous changes (which usually a combination of career/location and sometimes a life change like getting married/having a child), I find planning for the upcoming change being the hardest. It is hard because there are so many choices, and yet it's a reality that none of the choice will be perfect. How do we organize our priorities list? Weather? Accessibility? Cost of living? - One has to consider all various combination of taxes & fees balancing income tax, property tax, sale tax, excise tax, user fees, housing cost, transportation cost, food/health care cost etc etc. It is even harder to throw in other variables or considerations like owning a home? renting a home? owning two homes in two locations, live in an RV? being vagabonds and just staying few months at a place all over the world? What are the tradeoffs?

We have made two trips visiting two possible relocation areas (Vancouver and the Olympic Peninsula). My siblings have been urging us to consider Florida. We were toying of considering living in the state or even same city with our only daughter, but just recently learned that she had broken up with her boyfriend (he asked our permission to marry her last year!). She may move to another state. So now another housing option pops up like maybe we can buy a house where she gets a new job and she can live with us!!!!!

I will just keep researching, considering different alternatives, balancing different priorities. We will make few more scouting trips. One never knows what the future will bring, at least I know for a certain I am ready for a change!
Something has to be an "anchor" to a place, with which all other considerations fall away. For us, it's our dear grandchildren. We became grandparents later in life (ages 65 and 67), so we will not move to another area of the country now and miss the best years of the childrens' lives, nor will we be young enough to move far when the children are preteens. Whatever the anchor is for retirees, it is something that will outweigh everything else.

So even with the "given" of our geographic location, there are options to consider that may seem weird or silly to others. We are open to anything in terms of housing, as long as we can stick around here and still take our times in Maine.
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Old 03-15-2015, 02:53 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,485 posts, read 43,786,752 times
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We made a HUGE change at ages 55 and 63. We adopted two Vietnamese orphans only 4 months apart in age. DH announced he would never retire. He had no hobbies, loved his work, liked the money even though we didn't really need his full salary even to raise two new children. I had my own successful retail business but was miserable. Two kids in college. We always wanted more kids but taking in my elderly mother put the skids on that.

With her safely in assisted living we went ahead with our family plans. When she died we made a major geographical move and never looked back. All very smart decisions for all involved. Girls are now 13, DH is 75 and still working part time, I love being a Mom even though my health is not 100%. But we have the resources to make sure our youngest kids are properly cared for and educated if we don't live long enough to see them grown. Beats being orphans their whole lives in poverty where they were.

So now we are talking about moving into a smaller house when they get out of high school. I think change keeps us on our toes, helps us take a new perspective and helps keep us young.

I tell you one thing. I would never want to spend golden years in area with paralyzing snow and traffic.
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Old 03-15-2015, 03:54 PM
 
Location: Backwoods of Maine
7,116 posts, read 8,158,301 times
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While I agree with the post about change for the sake of change, I also feel that staying in the same old rut can deprive you of a new experience that can bring you much joy and satisfaction.

I was born and raised in Rhode Island, and lived and worked there my entire adult life. Wife was born and grew up in Fall River, MA. During our lifetimes, we have seen many changes in our states. The population has grown, the quality of life has gone down. Conditions (like extreme humidity) that I could tolerate in my youth, became real burdens when I became more mature. I didn't retire until I hit 65, but I doubt if I could have continued there much longer, even if not retired. Fortunately, it worked out.

Now we live in rural Maine, and it is such a refreshing difference! Much less humid, much less heat. We have not been here for quite a year yet, but we are meeting new people and doing different things. We have escaped the crowded cities, at last. I would never go back to my old state, my old life. Retirement has truly been a liberating experience!
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Old 03-15-2015, 03:56 PM
 
Location: Idaho
1,455 posts, read 1,156,015 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
We made a HUGE change at ages 55 and 63. We adopted two Vietnamese orphans only 4 months apart in age.
no kudzu,

We have made some major changes in our life too as what I recounted in this post

Has anyone ever quit their job to go to school fulltime? - Colleges and Universities -Higher education - City-Data Forum

It was a big change but not as big as the decision to adopt 2 orphans at ages 55 and 63. Raising a child is a huge job and life time commitment. I remember feeling a bit panicked and anxious when taking my newborn baby home. There would be no nurses, doctors hovering around. We alone were in charge of the helpless tiny bundle, to take care of her, to bring her up and forever feeling responsible for her well being the rest of our life.

Back to the original post, I think the OP's emphasis is on things on a lesser scale than major life changing event, to rethink how we do everyday activities, to see the world in a different angle, to twist the logic around, to be more creative even in little silly things.

I think ipoetry's suggestion is a great idea and very suited for the retirement forum. When people are working or at the very hectic, busy stage of their life, being efficient is more important than being creative just to have fun. Sticking to a routine, a 'recipe' of doing things in a certain way is more efficient and predictable. Working folks also don't have a lot of free time. Life is hectic enough so that many don't stop and smell the roses let alone exploring new ways, new things.

Being a very analytical person, I tend to be very organized and practical. I like to research, plan, finding the most efficient ways to do things such as finding the shortest travel time route and stick to it, knowing the layout of a grocery store (lower shelves have cheaper items, which aisles have what items etc) to minimize shopping time etc.

As I get older and having fewer life responsibilities after my daughter left the house to go to college, I have become more relaxed, more willing to deviate from the routine, more exploratory and thus becoming more 'creative'.

It has been a lot of fun to be more spontaneous: - let's have a backyard barbeque inviting everybody in the rowing club this weekend & the heck with cleaning up the house, stocking up the fridge days in advance! - wow, there is great airfare sale to Italy next weekend, let's check our passports to see if they are still valid and go!

It is also a lot of fun to try something new, seize the day, grab whatever adventures or opportunity presented to you. Last year, I learned that another club had free slots for the dragon boat races but the participants had to show up the next day for practice. I persuaded several members of my rowing club to join me and we had a blast practicing and racing.

I totally agree that we can have fun, add spices to life in twisting the logic, shaking up the routine even in little silly thing. There is nothing wrong with eating dessert before dinner once in a while or to skip dinner for fruits/cheese and a bottle of wine, or to experiment with new ingredients in a recipe. If I have some extra time or not in a hurry, I will try a different route or just make a random turn to a new route to explore a new road or neighborhood (after making sure my GPS is working so that I could find my way home .

I am looking forward to being retired, to have more time devoted to the pursue of happiness.
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Old 03-15-2015, 08:01 PM
 
Location: Hampstead NC
5,588 posts, read 5,105,578 times
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I once had a good friend who bemoaned the fact that he couldn't put anything in his upper kitchen cabinets because then he couldn't SEE anything and therefore couldn't find it. His wife was going crazy with the stuff all over the kitchen counters. I said, why not take off the cabinet doors if that is what would work for you? Cabinet doors are just a societal construct.

I hope i retain this kind of thought process for the rest of my life!!!
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Old 03-15-2015, 10:57 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,896 posts, read 14,390,517 times
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Our friends in our former home had trouble understanding why we would want to move half a continent away. We knew we wanted to, and I think our reasons were sound. So, we did it. Our life is better for having done it.

I don't understand retired people staying in a place that is so far away from their children. (Unless the children are estranged or indifferent) It seems to me that eventually the elder will have to move, either early under her own steam, or later by necessity when she is very old and having a hard time. I'd rather do it early under my own steam.

But, I have to say that change is hard. It has easier for us because we have each other. It would be that much harder if there was only one of us.
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