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Old 03-14-2015, 05:02 PM
 
4,349 posts, read 6,067,210 times
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Sometimes it's silly things like making lunch the most important meal of the day and going light for dinner ala the Italians do. Lately we're just not all that hungry at dinner time. And... After banging our heads against the wall, wanting a 2nd home somewhere warm, why not make that warm climate our first home and look for that cubbyhole right where we are? It's usually not that easy to back off and see another way that's better. Not sure that I see it now but we're starting to look at things differently, twist the logic around.
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Old 03-14-2015, 07:46 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,001,270 times
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Artists/creative people do that all the time. Change things up and around. See things from different angles. I tell my students to walk around their subject, diving in to their stories in different ways. I've always done this in real life. It can make creative folks look unstable, but it's not a choice for most of us. Second-guessing ourselves and doubting is not always bad; it can create really new solutions to challenges and break up stagnation. It's a willingness to risk and experiment, and be willing to fail at things at times. That said, most of the people I personally know would rather keep things exactly as they are, they do not see the need to change things up and look at things in new ways. They see change as a threat.
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Old 03-14-2015, 08:39 PM
 
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We certainly have changed things to our advantage we could't have when working. For instance; we workout three days a week and on those days have lunch out but where we wish and what time we wish as no time schedule. We also just do not have to plan like we did. I personally think people do what they must under the circumstances. Not everyone is on their own schedule. My wifes sister is a artist and eve she does not do what she wishes but is more like a contractor as to getting things done she has earned a living a for 30 years now. As she says people want their commissioned work done and you need to produce; its not like some movies earning a living on your art work.

Last edited by texdav; 03-14-2015 at 08:49 PM..
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Old 03-14-2015, 09:40 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
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Flexibility in thinking and willingness to try doing things a different way are assets at any age. Some young people are rigid and inflexible too, although we think of that (probably with some justification) as being typical of the old.

How many times have we read in this Retirement Forum about aging parents in their 80's who absolutely resist making any changes, such as even considering moving to assisted living, when their lives and their adult children's lives are miserable because of the rigidity in clinging to the "no change" model?
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Old 03-15-2015, 07:01 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,001,270 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
How many times have we read in this Retirement Forum about aging parents in their 80's who absolutely resist making any changes, such as even considering moving to assisted living, when their lives and their adult children's lives are miserable because of the rigidity in clinging to the "no change" model?
^^^^
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Old 03-15-2015, 07:12 AM
 
Location: Florida -
8,767 posts, read 10,864,802 times
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There is an old saying that, "Angry, grumpy old people were probably once angry, grumpy young people." The same can probably be said for rigid, inflexible people. It's sad to sometimes see older people who live their lives frightened and stressed ... because they are unable/unwilling to change with time and circumstance. Sometimes the reason for their resistance goes back 50-70-years to something that happened in their childhood.
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Old 03-15-2015, 08:13 AM
 
1,706 posts, read 1,230,616 times
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I guess I find such inflexibility curious because it is natural for me to question, ask "why", and think outside the box to find creative solutions.

I find it frustrating when others are unwilling or reluctant to expand their frame of reference or get locked into thinking of an issue only one particular way, even when doing so would open them up to wonderful new ways of being, thinking, feeling

At this point in my life- 63 years old this year- I find that more so than ever, I need to look at my situation from all angles so as not to miss any options or possibilities. Much of this process is quite uncomfortable and involves challenging long-held assumptions about what I want from life- do I really need to own my own home or would that money be better spent in investments, do I really need to work 40 hours a week in a stressful position, what am I willing to do or give up in order to live a more fulfilled life?
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Old 03-15-2015, 08:20 AM
 
1,706 posts, read 1,230,616 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
Artists/creative people do that all the time. Change things up and around. See things from different angles. I tell my students to walk around their subject, diving in to their stories in different ways. I've always done this in real life. It can make creative folks look unstable, but it's not a choice for most of us. Second-guessing ourselves and doubting is not always bad; it can create really new solutions to challenges and break up stagnation. It's a willingness to risk and experiment, and be willing to fail at things at times. That said, most of the people I personally know would rather keep things exactly as they are, they do not see the need to change things up and look at things in new ways. They see change as a threat.
Yes, I totally agree.
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Old 03-15-2015, 08:49 AM
 
Location: Idaho
1,457 posts, read 1,159,257 times
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twelvepaw,

Are you sure you are not my identical twin separated at birth? ;-) Your post expressed my thinking, feeling and situation perfectly.

I have always characterized myself as a flexible person who is not afraid of changes and always embrace challenges. I am more than willing to make the big life decision of retiring from my current job of 22 years and relocating to a new place in the opposite coast.

Unlike previous changes (which usually a combination of career/location and sometimes a life change like getting married/having a child), I find planning for the upcoming change being the hardest. It is hard because there are so many choices, and yet it's a reality that none of the choice will be perfect. How do we organize our priorities list? Weather? Accessibility? Cost of living? - One has to consider all various combination of taxes & fees balancing income tax, property tax, sale tax, excise tax, user fees, housing cost, transportation cost, food/health care cost etc etc. It is even harder to throw in other variables or considerations like owning a home? renting a home? owning two homes in two locations, live in an RV? being vagabonds and just staying few months at a place all over the world? What are the tradeoffs?

We have made two trips visiting two possible relocation areas (Vancouver and the Olympic Peninsula). My siblings have been urging us to consider Florida. We were toying of considering living in the state or even same city with our only daughter, but just recently learned that she had broken up with her boyfriend (he asked our permission to marry her last year!). She may move to another state. So now another housing option pops up like maybe we can buy a house where she gets a new job and she can live with us!!!!!

I will just keep researching, considering different alternatives, balancing different priorities. We will make few more scouting trips. One never knows what the future will bring, at least I know for a certain I am ready for a change!
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Old 03-15-2015, 09:07 AM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,629 posts, read 9,701,047 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BellaDL View Post
twelvepaw,

Are you sure you are not my identical twin separated at birth? ;-) Your post expressed my thinking, feeling and situation perfectly.

I have always characterized myself as a flexible person who is not afraid of changes and always embrace challenges. I am more than willing to make the big life decision of retiring from my current job of 22 years and relocating to a new place in the opposite coast.

Unlike previous changes (which usually a combination of career/location and sometimes a life change like getting married/having a child), I find planning for the upcoming change being the hardest. It is hard because there are so many choices, and yet it's a reality that none of the choice will be perfect. How do we organize our priorities list? Weather? Accessibility? Cost of living? - One has to consider all various combination of taxes & fees balancing income tax, property tax, sale tax, excise tax, user fees, housing cost, transportation cost, food/health care cost etc etc. It is even harder to throw in other variables or considerations like owning a home? renting a home? owning two homes in two locations, live in an RV? being vagabonds and just staying few months at a place all over the world? What are the tradeoffs?

We have made two trips visiting two possible relocation areas (Vancouver and the Olympic Peninsula). My siblings have been urging us to consider Florida. We were toying of considering living in the state or even same city with our only daughter, but just recently learned that she had broken up with her boyfriend (he asked our permission to marry her last year!). She may move to another state. So now another housing option pops up like maybe we can buy a house where she gets a new job and she can live with us!!!!!

I will just keep researching, considering different alternatives, balancing different priorities. We will make few more scouting trips. One never knows what the future will bring, at least I know for a certain I am ready for a change!
Sometimes I think I am very fortunate to NOT have to make any of those decisions and other times I think I've lost my sense of adventure. Growing up was a life of constant change. My parents went where the work was for my dad...or college, before that...and I went to so many different schools I have a hard time remembering them all. Then being married and following a husband all over the country for his job... Change doesn't bother me but the older I get the happier I am that I'm 'settled'.

Lucky for me I really love where I live and always have. I can save my 'adventures' for vacations and road trips. Up until two months ago I HAD considered moving just because I could. In a way I do envy some of you folks your 'adventures'. Moving to a new place, getting to explore and do new things, etc.. New people to meet as well. Maybe I'm just getting too old, tired and lazy to go through it again.
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