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Old 03-20-2015, 05:34 AM
 
Location: UpstateNY
8,612 posts, read 8,294,298 times
Reputation: 7522

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MaryLee, I can relate somewhat. We found out DH's hip was gone three years ago. He won't see anyone up here, too many horror stories.

My stepdad passed unexpectedly September 2012 and we immediately knew we would move south to be closer to my mom. At first we all thought we would be living together, but gradually she got her act together and is now in an apartment with her BF.

She did buy us a house and we are still moving. DH can only do so much, he lives on Naproxin and heat/cold packs and the Tens unit. I can bear witness to your pain.

That pain and the new realization that our current abode is not only unsuitable but potentially dangerous is new inspiration to get the heck out of here. This is our chance at a much better life. No stairs. No ice and snow. Level yard, easier to get around. Better medical facilities and care.

You will get over your fears and will get to the point where you can't wait to go.

I highly recommend 'Good Call' by Jase Robertson for hope and inspiration. The last chapter is titled 'Looking to the Future".

<3
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Old 03-20-2015, 05:58 AM
 
1,826 posts, read 2,595,159 times
Reputation: 1783
MaryLee, you definitely have a lot going on. Glad to hear you know better than move boxes and go through later. One word about getting rid of stuff. I am discovering eBay is not a fast or convenient way. We have mounds of stuff, I called it my eBay pile, that we have intentions of selling there. DH is having good results on his coins but I don't when it comes to old dishes,etc. everyone has those for sale for next to nothing!

Another thought on your MIL place. So sorry for your loss. Going through the place with a video and recording memories is an excellent idea. Take all the digital pics you want, they don't take up room. Then after that you may want to check into an estate sale. That saved us on our relatives home. It was 500 miles away so something we had to deal with on trips. While my DH and BIL were sifting through stuff and throwing into a dumpster I contacted an antique store regarding a couple of pieces. Turned out they do estate sales. They took over, did everything. What wasn't sold they bundled into lots and took to an auction they use. What was left after that they hauled off to the dump. They truly saved us. We then could clean and repair the house for sale. Given your physical condition now, it could truly be your life saver.
Good luck
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Old 03-20-2015, 08:58 PM
 
9,676 posts, read 15,849,412 times
Reputation: 16013
Quote:
Originally Posted by choff5 View Post
MaryLee, you definitely have a lot going on. Glad to hear you know better than move boxes and go through later. One word about getting rid of stuff. I am discovering eBay is not a fast or convenient way. We have mounds of stuff, I called it my eBay pile, that we have intentions of selling there. DH is having good results on his coins but I don't when it comes to old dishes,etc. everyone has those for sale for next to nothing!

Another thought on your MIL place. So sorry for your loss. Going through the place with a video and recording memories is an excellent idea. Take all the digital pics you want, they don't take up room. Then after that you may want to check into an estate sale. That saved us on our relatives home. It was 500 miles away so something we had to deal with on trips. While my DH and BIL were sifting through stuff and throwing into a dumpster I contacted an antique store regarding a couple of pieces. Turned out they do estate sales. They took over, did everything. What wasn't sold they bundled into lots and took to an auction they use. What was left after that they hauled off to the dump. They truly saved us. We then could clean and repair the house for sale. Given your physical condition now, it could truly be your life saver.
Good luck

I know....Ebay isn't exactly the fastest method to get rid of stuff! Our move out date isn't until the end of April, so, I'm giving some items a try. If they don't sell in 2 weeks, I figure there's no immediate interest, so, just donate them. We are renting a storage unit for items we could never part with, but that can always be purged as time goes on. I might take some of the Ebay stuff, store it, then sell later, as long as I don't need a larger unit.

We plan to use Freecycle rather than a garage sale for old furniture, etc, that way we don't have to spend a day babysitting it!

I might take your suggestion and contact an antique store. I do have a lot of old dishes, collectibles etc, that are really too good to just donate/toss. But,like you say, seems everybody is selling old dishes for literally pennies. If I could even get $100--$200 for the lot, it would be something.

I've decided to just donate old books. They go on amazon for pennies! Not worth my time. Who needs reference books, we are now in the Internet age!
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Old 03-21-2015, 12:01 AM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,960 posts, read 3,451,255 times
Reputation: 10475
I went through downsizing & wasn't ready. My house was in foreclosure & I was getting ready when a woman went through a red light & destroyed my car & my back. My plans had been to rent a uhaul & just keep things I really needed to start over.
But, now I didn't have a car or a back to finish packing. I called thrift stores & found one who would come with a truck to pick up my things. A neighbor helped me get things together & I ended up with 20 boxes, which was all I could afford to ship to my brother's, which was where I went for 6 months.
I've since received disability & am replacing things slowly but surely.
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Old 03-21-2015, 05:35 AM
 
Location: UpstateNY
8,612 posts, read 8,294,298 times
Reputation: 7522
meo, we're selling and donating like mad. Tell me what you need!
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Old 03-21-2015, 06:34 AM
 
672 posts, read 837,147 times
Reputation: 1173
We just went through this when we moved my mom to an assisted living facility. Although we threw out tons of stuffshe made us get a storage unit because all her things were "antiques" (junk)!! She used to paint when she was younger. She made me swear to save all her paintings. I asked her to show me her 3 favorite ones. She refused. I told her I don't have room to save them all. Anyone have a suggestion? No family or friends want them.
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Old 03-21-2015, 07:21 AM
 
1,706 posts, read 1,222,255 times
Reputation: 4829
Quote:
Originally Posted by saralvr View Post
Although we threw out tons of stuffshe made us get a storage unit because all her things were "antiques" (junk)!!

I tend to shudder when I hear items described as "antiques" described as junk as much that appears worthless to you may actually be quite valuable; unless you have a background in antique/vintage items you should have someone come in to give you a bid on the items or at least look for similar items online to get an idea of their worth. Just a thought- not saying this is what is happening in your case, maybe it really is junk

She used to paint when she was younger. She made me swear to save all her paintings. I asked her to show me her 3 favorite ones. She refused. I told her I don't have room to save them all. Anyone have a suggestion? No family or friends want them.

Ask her to pick a few favorites and donate the rest; if she won't pick any favorites and she really can't or doesn't have room to keep them, then donate to a local charity or thrift shop
Response in bold.
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Old 03-21-2015, 07:35 AM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
6,954 posts, read 7,387,939 times
Reputation: 16278
Quote:
Originally Posted by meo92953 View Post
I went through downsizing & wasn't ready. My house was in foreclosure & I was getting ready when a woman went through a red light & destroyed my car & my back. My plans had been to rent a uhaul & just keep things I really needed to start over.
But, now I didn't have a car or a back to finish packing. I called thrift stores & found one who would come with a truck to pick up my things. A neighbor helped me get things together & I ended up with 20 boxes, which was all I could afford to ship to my brother's, which was where I went for 6 months.
I've since received disability & am replacing things slowly but surely.
What do you need?
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Old 03-21-2015, 07:52 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,964,817 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by meo92953 View Post
I went through downsizing & wasn't ready. My house was in foreclosure & I was getting ready when a woman went through a red light & destroyed my car & my back. My plans had been to rent a uhaul & just keep things I really needed to start over.
But, now I didn't have a car or a back to finish packing. I called thrift stores & found one who would come with a truck to pick up my things. A neighbor helped me get things together & I ended up with 20 boxes, which was all I could afford to ship to my brother's, which was where I went for 6 months.
I've since received disability & am replacing things slowly but surely.
If you think you're going to move south, I'd say don't start acquiring too much now. Moving expenses are really costly even if you do it without professional movers. Move with as little as possible and replace once you get there. Keep linens and utensils (these add up $) but hold off on furniture. Hopefully your next move will be an easy and enjoyable one!
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Old 03-21-2015, 10:15 AM
 
Location: UpstateNY
8,612 posts, read 8,294,298 times
Reputation: 7522
Quote:
Originally Posted by saralvr View Post
We just went through this when we moved my mom to an assisted living facility. Although we threw out tons of stuffshe made us get a storage unit because all her things were "antiques" (junk)!! She used to paint when she was younger. She made me swear to save all her paintings. I asked her to show me her 3 favorite ones. She refused. I told her I don't have room to save them all. Anyone have a suggestion? No family or friends want them.
Can you bring them to her ALF?
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