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Old 03-21-2015, 05:36 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,744,100 times
Reputation: 32309

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^^^^^^^ Jghorton, shhhhhh! The strident man-haters have not yet discovered this thread. Please don't stir them up! We are fortunate that all the women posters so far have been eminently reasonable, although your basic point is well taken.
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Old 03-21-2015, 06:52 PM
 
Location: Garbage, NC
3,124 posts, read 2,050,902 times
Reputation: 8115
Quote:
Originally Posted by jghorton View Post
As I read some of these threads about wives having difficulty with retired husbands, I can't help but, think, 'Why does it always seems to be the man who needs to change?' -- Perhaps the men just don't write on forums about nit-picking, critical wives (just an example, nothing specific).

Somehow this reminded me of an article that talked about husbands always leaving the toilet seat up.
Instead of the traditional "how inconsiderate of him" response, it was suggested, "men usually need the seat up and women need it down --- why is it any more difficult for the woman to leave the seat up for the man, than it is for the man to leave it down for the woman .... put on your big girl pants and work with the problem, instead of always expecting your needs to be accommodated first."


I darn well leave the seat up and do whatever I want!!...

.... whenever my wife is off visiting her sister.
Yeah, I don't understand the big deal about that, either. My guy usually puts it down, but when he leaves it up, I just put it back down...it only takes a millisecond and isn't physically grueling or anything.

I have a friend who is thinking of leaving her husband because he doesn't take the trash out or do household chores unless she asks him to. So, if he does it when you ask him, just ask him?

I like to pick my battles and don't usually argue over every stupid little thing. There is such a thing as letting too much ride, though. The only reason I suggested to OP to start speaking up sometimes is so that she won't be miserable or blow up at him. There's a happy medium.
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Old 03-21-2015, 08:13 PM
 
Location: Out there somewhere...a traveling man.
39,549 posts, read 47,756,756 times
Reputation: 110424
Problem: Spouse friction after retirement.
Solution: KY Jelly.
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Old 03-21-2015, 08:39 PM
 
Location: ☀️ SWFL ⛱ 🌴
2,435 posts, read 1,671,079 times
Reputation: 8704
I had the exact thought when I read the title before I read the thread.
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Old 03-21-2015, 08:47 PM
 
Location: NE Mississippi
13,680 posts, read 8,585,088 times
Reputation: 19887
Quote:
Originally Posted by Southern man View Post
Speaking from my own experience as a retired male, you need to assign him some responsibility around the house. You take care of yours and he takes care of his. Some compromise is going to be necessary, that's life.
Assign? ASSIGN!? You want her to ASSIGN him duties?!

HA! Can I watch while she tries that, with this guy?!

(pops popcorn)
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Old 03-21-2015, 08:54 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,056 posts, read 17,369,523 times
Reputation: 41499
Quote:
Originally Posted by LauraC View Post
Do you have any friends that you do things with besides him? Does he have any friends that he does things with besides you? Do you still have 2 cars? I can't give you spouse advice but I sure as heck see a lot married women that once they and their husband are retired they are attached at the hip and the wife doesn't seem to want to make a move without the husband tagging along. I find it to be ridiculous, but then again, I'm divorced and like it, so what do I know?
I has been my experience that it is often the retired men that insist that they tag along with their wives everyplace and not the other way around.

To the OP, start to speak up and do the things that you want to do and go the places that you want to go and don't always defer to your husband.
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Old 03-21-2015, 09:19 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,982,141 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by jghorton View Post
As I read some of these threads about wives having difficulty with retired husbands, I can't help but, think, 'Why does it always seems to be the man who needs to change?' -- Perhaps the men just don't write on forums about nit-picking, critical wives (just an example, nothing specific).
I do find a clear pattern among those I know of a paternal "man knows best" with their spouses. Men have always thought themselves superior in intellect, intelligence, and common sense (how many lol's can I fit into this space?). Bet my farm that Curmudgeon will have something to say about this. And Escort.
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Old 03-21-2015, 09:23 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,744,100 times
Reputation: 32309
To some extent, this thread is about the male-female divide. Ogden Nash had a pithy but insightful comment on that:

He drinks because she scolds, he thinks;
She thinks she scolds because he drinks.
And neither will admit what's true,
That he's a sot and she's a shrew.

The title of that little gem is "Which the Chicken, Which the Egg?" Personally I think Ogden Nash was a genius.
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Old 03-21-2015, 09:25 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,744,100 times
Reputation: 32309
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
I do find a clear pattern among those I know of a paternal "man knows best" with their spouses. Men have always thought themselves superior in intellect, intelligence, and common sense (how many lol's can I fit into this space?). Bet my farm that Curmudgeon will have something to say about this. And Escort.
Nope, not me. I am not going there.
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Old 03-21-2015, 09:28 PM
 
4,069 posts, read 1,559,260 times
Reputation: 7411
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
I do find a clear pattern among those I know of a paternal "man knows best" with their spouses. Men have always thought themselves superior in intellect, intelligence, and common sense (how many lol's can I fit into this space?). Bet my farm that Curmudgeon will have something to say about this. And Escort.

Where's the farm and how large is it? Just askin.
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