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Old 03-22-2015, 04:14 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,497,588 times
Reputation: 29076

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gandalara View Post
Yup, they've been around for more than a few years.
There's a sensor on it so it won't move while occupied
DANG! So much for the potential headlines; "Man (or Woman) swallowed by auto toilet seat" or worse, "Man loses member to swiftly closing, malfunctioning toilet seat." And think of what small children could face during toilet training. It boggles the mind. Imagine the potential outrage and strident cries of, "There ought to be a toity law."
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Old 03-22-2015, 05:05 PM
 
4,443 posts, read 2,616,298 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WorldKlas View Post
My DH has a very strong personality. I am more easy going. So, I usually let him get his way beause most things that really matter to him I have pretty neutral feelings. Thing is, he pretty much has strong feelings about everything. I mean everything from what restaurant, how/when to do laundry, even when to take the trash to the trash bin. I am exagerating a bit. He just retired in September and until now I have been on my own during his work hours. Also since his retirement, we have bought and sold residences, and vehicles, and planned & gone on trips ..... all with his empathic feelings and me going along on some of the choices but not keenly. We agree on most things, this is not a pre-divorce thing, LOL.

Yesterday morning I was phoning the hair salon trying to make an appt. and I didn't like any of the openings they had available. I hung up the phone and said I'd phone them back. DH recommended a specific time. I didn't make an appt. As the time approached that he had thought was a good time, he reminded me about the appt. I barked at him that I didn't make the appt. Thinking about it, I realize I have been very abrupt with him a lot lately and reject his affection, too. Sooo......is this just an adjustment to him being around all the time? Have others found they have more tension after retirement?
YOur Husband is used to structure at work and in life. He also appears to have some "control issues", maybe??? Which might stem from "structure issues"?

We aren't even retired, but "time off" for 3 weeks while I had shoulder surgery put us both in the house with not much I could do {I was under restrictions to "DO NOTHING"}, and it wore on us pretty fast. I had time off, naturally, and MOH {My Other Half} took family medical leave to take care of me.
It "got old really fast".

I am the one who usually does all house chores, except garbage and lawn {I am severely asthmatic} and snow removal {I have a very bad back}.
I don't mind, and MOH can't really cook anyway {to 'cook' for us we either ate out, or MOH fixed "heat and Eat" stuff during this time-one can only take so much of that "meal in a bag"}. PART of my PAST working history was as a chef in a a couple of restaurants {really a glorified line cook},so I cook and serve a la restaurant style! It's "in my nature" since age 9 when I started learning how to cook!
I don't mind the laundry as MOH doesn't do it the way I like it, so It fell to me, too.

Now, mind you, MOH will "fill in where need be", but NOT do the 'regular" cleaning! Not the way I like! AND dishes..well lets just say we had no silverware or dishes for a meal left before MOH would get to doing them.

No, MOH is better suited at going out to work {two jobs}, I am better at part time and part time house runner...

MOH goes back Tuesday, and neither of us can wait! I am still under restrictions to not drive or lift yet!
But at least we will have TIME APART while MOH is out working so we DON'T Chew each other's heads off anymore!
And, just think, we get to do ti all over again with the other shoulder!

Good luck to you!
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Old 03-22-2015, 05:30 PM
 
29,782 posts, read 34,880,403 times
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I wonder how many are more comfortable having this discussion with strangers than with their spouses?
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Old 03-22-2015, 06:03 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,985,208 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TuborgP View Post
I wonder how many are more comfortable having this discussion with strangers than with their spouses?
Discussions with spouses are always risky, each wants to win and compromise is a grumpy thing. I say let the best man or woman dominate and the other go along with it to keep the peace. I also recommend separate dwellings.
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Old 03-22-2015, 06:26 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,497,588 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
Discussions with spouses are always risky, each wants to win and compromise is a grumpy thing. I say let the best man or woman dominate and the other go along with it to keep the peace. I also recommend separate dwellings.
My wife and I never had these discussions because they were unnecessary, We just naturally both divided the household labor because it was the right thing to do. We both loved cooking and didn't mind cleaning and laundry.

As far as the toilet seat goes, my mother raised me to be a gentleman. Not an issue.
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Old 03-22-2015, 06:34 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,985,208 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post

As far as the toilet seat goes, my mother raised me to be a gentleman. Not an issue.
But did she teach you to put it down.
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Old 03-22-2015, 06:43 PM
 
Location: Central Massachusetts
4,800 posts, read 4,850,322 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
But did she teach you to put it down.

I got trained by my wife. I leave it down and sit too when I am in our bathroom.
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Old 03-22-2015, 07:51 PM
mlb
 
Location: North Monterey County
3,184 posts, read 2,858,918 times
Reputation: 4879
What I don't understand - what were weekends like for the OP when he was working? Did he do nothing or was he in your business then?

This is truly a marital issue and not a retirement issue.

I wonder how much quality time they spend together on weekends.
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Old 03-22-2015, 09:33 PM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,618 posts, read 9,687,274 times
Reputation: 10980
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
I do find a clear pattern among those I know of a paternal "man knows best" with their spouses. Men have always thought themselves superior in intellect, intelligence, and common sense (how many lol's can I fit into this space?). Bet my farm that Curmudgeon will have something to say about this. And Escort.
My ex was really good about telling me how I "should" do things. I remember one day finally having enough and told him that I must be the luckiest woman on earth to have survived nearly 40 years before I met him! I obviously, according to him, wasn't able to make good decisions, or do things, on my own. Or something. Funny but I haven't made any bad decisions for myself in nearly 20 years now and, by gosh, he's nowhere around! lol
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Old 03-22-2015, 09:44 PM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,618 posts, read 9,687,274 times
Reputation: 10980
Quote:
Originally Posted by jghorton View Post
As I read some of these threads about wives having difficulty with retired husbands, I can't help but, think, 'Why does it always seems to be the man who needs to change?' -- Perhaps the men just don't write on forums about nit-picking, critical wives (just an example, nothing specific).

Somehow this reminded me of an article that talked about husbands always leaving the toilet seat up.
Instead of the traditional "how inconsiderate of him" response, it was suggested, "men usually need the seat up and women need it down --- why is it any more difficult for the woman to leave the seat up for the man, than it is for the man to leave it down for the woman .... put on your big girl pants and work with the problem, instead of always expecting your needs to be accommodated first."


I darn well leave the seat up and do whatever I want!!...

.... whenever my wife is off visiting her sister.

LOL...I've never understood the toilet seat thing. Maybe because I grew up with a dad and three brothers but I never thought anything about putting the seat down if I needed to. The worst thing is getting up in the dark, stumbling to the bathroom, sit down and get a cold sitz bath!

Toilet paper is another story! It goes OVER the top and that is that!
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