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Old 03-28-2015, 06:34 AM
 
Location: State of Grace
1,582 posts, read 1,136,515 times
Reputation: 2614

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My husband (DH) has strict instructions not to depart the planet before I do! I'm legally blind, in a wheelchair, and I have heart issues along with a few other challenges.

Driving is the least of my problems.

At the moment, I work (write my novels, songs, and music etc.) at home on different computers, and when we tour or simply go on photography expeditions, DH is always with me. (We perform together.)

If, God forbid, he should predecease me, I'd find a room with an en suite bathroom and a decent landlord, and make arrangements to have the necessities of life brought to me. At the moment, I can still walk from one room to another, but then I'm only 59 and that may not last 'forever.' As long as I can sit out on a balcony and look at these mountains and smell the fresh air, I won't mind too much about not going anywhere.

I've had a wonderfully blessed life in that I've seen most of the world (although not all of it) and I have a true love who I wouldn't part with for anything (The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit notwithstanding), and I love the work I do. It's hard not to be grateful.

I don't dwell on living without my husband because that's the one thing I really don't want to do, but unfortunately, he feels the same as I do, so one of us will be left alone and not too happy about it.

Our kids all live thousands of miles from us nowadays, and they've all made a home for themselves where they are. I won't live with them. I love them, but I won't live with them.

If I become too sick to attend to my personal hygiene and the cleaning of my room etc., I'll go into an assisted living center. Here, in Canada, one can do that on one's pension if one is disabled, and the .gov takes 80% of one's pension and lets one keep the rest.

I don't imagine I'll care much at that point.

According to my doctors and all life assessment tables, I'm supposed to live well into my nineties. I sincerely doubt that, but leave such things to God to decide. Fortunately, DH is in reasonably good health. He has diabetes but it's well controlled, so nobody expects him to bite the dust early (please God!).

If we can both avoid car crashes and Mack truck scenarios, perhaps we'll still be given a couple or three more decades together. Despite all the injuries and inconveniences I have physically, I still love my life.

I do miss driving though, and hiking, and swimming, and being a size 5... and so on....

Blessings to all,


Mahrie.
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Old 03-28-2015, 08:27 AM
 
2,156 posts, read 1,262,889 times
Reputation: 2478
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cruzincat View Post
I was actually thinking about the traffic last night, on my way home. Fifty years ago there was not as much traffic congestion as there is now. Fifty years ago there was a smaller percentage of the drivers on the road of female persuasion. That's all you need to know!
O.K, WHAT? Being of "female persuasion?" No, 50 years ago, we were home, mending your socks, ironing your shirts, cooking, cleaning, barefoot and.......running out to our job to make ends meet. Did not drive at that time......yep, took the bus.

Suddenly, became independent and started driving; worlds opened up. Female Persuasion? Thanks, for waking me up this morning.

Public transportation is a great tool for getting around. Some cities, as in Colorado Springs, have transportation for seniors and others that may need help getting around town.

Last edited by mollygee; 03-28-2015 at 08:50 AM.. Reason: odds and ends
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Old 03-28-2015, 08:39 AM
 
2,620 posts, read 2,521,519 times
Reputation: 7229
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cruzincat View Post
I was actually thinking about the traffic last night, on my way home. Fifty years ago there was not as much traffic congestion as there is now. Fifty years ago there was a smaller percentage of the drivers on the road of female persuasion. That's all you need to know!
Unfortunately, the facts don't support your women-hating:

According to the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, "Many more men than women die each year in motor vehicle crashes. Men typically drive more miles than women and more often engage in risky driving practices including not using safety belts, driving while impaired by alcohol, and speeding. Crashes involving male drivers often are more severe than those involving female drivers."

Here is the actual link to the page which also provides lots and lots of graphs and charts and statistics with more detail. Maybe you could show them to your wife so she can explain them to you: Fatality Facts



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Old 03-28-2015, 09:33 AM
 
Location: San Antonio
7,629 posts, read 14,373,108 times
Reputation: 18706
Quote:
Originally Posted by tijlover View Post
One of the reasons I've shunned the idea of living in one of these Del Webb 55+ senior communities, is they're too car centric for me. More than likely, these communities have some sort of in-house transportation services for the those who can't drive anymore, but I'm too much of a convenience junkie to live in them.

Even right now, I'm a long block to a bus stop, 4 blocks to 2 major grocery stores, 2 blocks to a 7/11, and if I want a nightcap at night, without driving and risking a DUI, there's a bar right up the street, and 2 more 2 blocks from there!

In what 55+ Del Webb senior community can you have those kinds of conveniences?
In Del Webb Hill Country Retreat in San Antonio....we are 2 STOP SIGNS (NOT even a traffic light), on Alamo Ranch Parkway from the following shopping center, with EVERYTHING you could possibly need (and lots you DON'T). Walking, golf cart or even trike cycling distance to be sure!!!!

Store Directory :: Alamo Ranch :: San Antonio, TX
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Old 03-28-2015, 11:05 AM
 
671 posts, read 665,524 times
Reputation: 1245
Get busy living or get busy dying? Trading off living the way one wants to for what? Rural life is an inconvenience in itself if one sees shopping as a everyday event..For some it's a major event,well planned out,precise shopping lists made up and stops to be made. So what if you can' drive a car anymore? What if your paralyzed,go blind or become incompetent in some other manner...Isn't going to matter if your in the hear of a city or off grid in the backwoods,,your life style will change to the situation.
Either way better to live your life the way you want to because dying takes it's course fairly well all on it's own.
Reasoned thought isn't clouded with fear....
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Old 03-28-2015, 12:05 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,595 posts, read 4,674,480 times
Reputation: 27779
Quote:
Originally Posted by BayAreaHillbilly View Post
In many places the buses can "kneel" and will present a curb level platform for boarding.
I saw something in Portland OR -- long before Portlandia -- that I will never forget.

I was on the bus. At one stop, there was a tall thin blind man pushing a 250 lb woman in a wheelchair. He bent over so she could put her arms around his neck, then he carried her up the stairs -- dangling and swaying from her hold on his neck -- into the bus. Then he fetched the wheelchair.

It struck me as a metaphor for both marriage and retirement.
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Old 03-28-2015, 12:46 PM
 
Location: Anchored in Phoenix
1,942 posts, read 3,917,296 times
Reputation: 1767
Good question. I am in my 50s with no dependents. I know other boomers like me (single and no dependents) in the same situation. Some have serious medical issues and maybe will worsen as older. Those older retirees with children will get along perhaps in the rural areas, but they are unfairly counting on their children to wait on them. What if they are too busy working or with their own kids?

Driverless cars would be nice but the technology is too new and there are probably some important variables missing from the concept to make it safer than the human-driven cars.

I think living with other older people in a big city with great transportation systems and medical facilities is the realistic approach.
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Old 03-28-2015, 01:07 PM
 
Location: Hiding from Antifa?
6,393 posts, read 4,170,610 times
Reputation: 5695
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoriBee62 View Post
Unfortunately, the facts don't support your women-hating:

According to the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, "Many more men than women die each year in motor vehicle crashes. Men typically drive more miles than women and more often engage in risky driving practices including not using safety belts, driving while impaired by alcohol, and speeding. Crashes involving male drivers often are more severe than those involving female drivers."

Here is the actual link to the page which also provides lots and lots of graphs and charts and statistics with more detail. Maybe you could show them to your wife so she can explain them to you: Fatality Facts



Some women don't have a sense of humor, either!
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Old 03-28-2015, 01:23 PM
 
4,571 posts, read 7,053,444 times
Reputation: 4217
I've watched a very dear friend of mine age over the past 15 years and she still drives, but she could never walk to a bus stop now. She's 85 and her walking ability has lessened significantly over the past 2 years. So planning to take buses might not be option because people lose their ability to walk very far, no less walk to grocery stores, etc. When she can't drive any more, I'll drive her, as will her other friends.
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Old 03-28-2015, 01:40 PM
 
Location: in the miseries
3,302 posts, read 3,577,100 times
Reputation: 3810
Quote:
Originally Posted by tjasse View Post
My grandparents just have my youngest aunt drive them everywhere and run all their errands. Her entire life seems to revolve around them. Now I realize why my sisters and brother all moved at least 2000 miles away from my parents. I hope to correct my mistake of moving back to my home town soon, before I get stuck as the elder chauffeur and errand boy.
I drove my parents everywhere.
No regrets.
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