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Old 03-29-2015, 04:43 PM
 
4,432 posts, read 2,611,082 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowsnow View Post
It's your money. Do exactly what you want to do with it!
^^

But you CAN do both... You can live it up, and still leave a legacy behind, that is our intention! And we don't have kids, so the "heirs' are the "adopted couple and their kids" next door, that we have taken a special liking to.

I had always thought I'd/we'd leave anything left to charity, AND I want something left, as I don't want to worry if the reverse mortgage will cover me as long as I have left to be alive and be too broke to actually live!!!

But then the couple next door got "adopted" by us, and I am fine with it.

AND I expect to be alive for quite a few more years. The beauty in NOT having children is we can always change who we leave it to!

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Old 03-29-2015, 05:12 PM
 
39,256 posts, read 20,356,214 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loves2read View Post
You act like you expect your kids to mistreat you...
Right now one of our children is married, with a child, and living in another state.
One is married, no kids and likely none, and lives an hour away. The closest one is our son. His wife is sweet and we care for her and vice versa but don't know that either one would make a good caregiver.

We have long term care insurance and other resources and hope to avoid needing to use our children as caregivers --but we are just 66--long way to go. My mom was in her early 80's; dad was 91 and my mom smoked all her adult life even w/COPD. My husband's mom was just 90; his dad was in his 80s but likely had bad health care which did not diagnose cancer soon enough to give him a decent chance w/treatment.

I am much more worried about having to be caregiver to my sister who never married. Lives about 300 mi away and has limited resources. We bought our current home w/the fallback of having a second master bedroom on first floor for her use if she has to move in with us. But I really think we all would be happier if we paid for some level of home assistance for her and she had her privacy. Again--only time will tell....

My husband has a sister 18 yrs older. She and his mother were ones to be with his dad after he was bed bound-- there was my husband living 8 hrs away and another brother 2 hrs away.
No hard feelings about the sister doing the caregiving.

Some people's lives are just too complicated to expect them to stop their lives and devote to parents's if they are disabled.
I'm not sure if you are referring to my post and if so no, I'm not sure where you get that idea. And everyone's lives are complicated. Saying to siblings when refusing to help ... "I don't have time" is telling the others who are struggling to make time, my time is more valuable than yours, you have the time. Believe me, they don't.
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Old 03-29-2015, 05:18 PM
 
Location: Corona del Mar & Coronado, CA
1,777 posts, read 1,245,859 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kauailover View Post
I hear a lot of people make plans ahead of time to leave their loved one's a nice inheritance. But I am in the camp of folks who like the idea of living it up in my retirement years even to the point of one day considering a reverse mortgage.

Maybe this is being stingy or maybe it's a desire for the loved one's to learn to be self sufficient. What's your thoughts on this?
I don't know that I'd do a reverse mortgage, because you never know if you'll need that asset for something more than living it up down the road.

Philosophically it depends on what gives you more pleasure, leaving a legacy for your kids and grand kids to make their lives a bit better or doing things for yourself that you delayed or denied earlier like cruises and trips.

In my ideal world the check to the funeral home bounces.......

But it is possible to make provisions for your heirs and then go spend on yourself.
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Old 03-29-2015, 05:25 PM
 
48,516 posts, read 83,922,814 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kauailover View Post
I hear a lot of people make plans ahead of time to leave their loved one's a nice inheritance. But I am in the camp of folks who like the idea of living it up in my retirement years even to the point of one day considering a reverse mortgage.

Maybe this is being stingy or maybe it's a desire for the loved one's to learn to be self sufficient. What's your thoughts on this?
The problem is spending it all could mean you end up destitute as life is harder to time than the markets. I also see no problem in passing on wealth from generation to generation and in fact mean to do just that.Every generation has gained in my family ;so its working.
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Old 03-29-2015, 05:29 PM
 
71,550 posts, read 71,712,424 times
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ideally i want to bounce the check to the funeral home.

but in reality spending it all is near impossible without knowing the day you and your spouse will die.

the problem is not knowing that fact you still need enough dry powder to generate income like you will beat methuslas record.


as i said earlier by default you will have to have money left .
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Old 03-29-2015, 06:48 PM
 
774 posts, read 591,352 times
Reputation: 1340
If you want to enjoy your retirement, go ahead. It's not greedy to use the money you worked hard for on yourself. You earned it. You deserve it.

My mom has a fortune, and she lives a life of luxury. I don't complain. It's her money.

If you have loved ones that you want to help, then you can do that too. But I don't see why you need to do it through an inheritance. Go ahead and help them while you're still alive, and you'll reap more emotionally gratifying rewards from the assistance than you would if you help them after you're gone.
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Old 03-29-2015, 07:46 PM
 
Location: California
378 posts, read 360,985 times
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I would hope that anything we do leave to our heirs doesn't get squandered and that is one of my concerns in our case. I would rather blow every dime myself than see what we've worked hard for be foolishly wasted. If one of our two kids ever gets his life together I won't be so concerned. But so far that is yet to be seen. We have done a lot to help out his situation but he continues to dig his hole deeper. Time will tell and we plan on being around a lot longer!
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Old 03-29-2015, 08:04 PM
 
39,256 posts, read 20,356,214 times
Reputation: 12751
Quote:
Originally Posted by tlarnla View Post
If you want to enjoy your retirement, go ahead. It's not greedy to use the money you worked hard for on yourself. You earned it. You deserve it.

My mom has a fortune, and she lives a life of luxury. I don't complain. It's her money.

If you have loved ones that you want to help, then you can do that too. But I don't see why you need to do it through an inheritance. Go ahead and help them while you're still alive, and you'll reap more emotionally gratifying rewards from the assistance than you would if you help them after you're gone.
I'm with you on that and bouncing a check to the funeral home lol (no, I'll make sure it is paid). I think it's nice to help but when it becomes expected, that's when I say nope, I'm dying poor.
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Old 03-29-2015, 08:47 PM
 
Location: the Permian Basin
4,196 posts, read 3,083,574 times
Reputation: 5892
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nayabone View Post
We purchased long term care for my wife many years ago and so far it has been a complete waste of money. We are hopefully years away from needing the service it provides, but what started out as a great benefit is no longer looking so good.
Due to a lack of participation, every year they rates have gone up and the amount of services provided have gone down. It's become so expensive are would considering dropping the policy, except if we did we would sacrifice the 20+ years we have paid into it. If we knew then what we know now, we never would have purchased it.
LTC insurance should not be purchased prior to age 60 - you won't need it before then.
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Old 03-29-2015, 09:43 PM
 
9,681 posts, read 15,861,934 times
Reputation: 16033
Quote:
Originally Posted by kauailover View Post
I hear a lot of people make plans ahead of time to leave their loved one's a nice inheritance. But I am in the camp of folks who like the idea of living it up in my retirement years even to the point of one day considering a reverse mortgage.

Maybe this is being stingy or maybe it's a desire for the loved one's to learn to be self sufficient. What's your thoughts on this?

My aunt & uncle did that----spent every dim, got a reverse mortgage.....left nothing to their kids, who are well-established on their own now...they did it right
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