U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-30-2015, 08:45 PM
 
38,084 posts, read 14,878,695 times
Reputation: 24519

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by WorldKlas View Post
Wow, some wonderful advise and great stories. Thanks all soooo much.

We will, perhaps, bury the ashes. We will be driving to the place, from Texas to CA. Now, my brother and my son will each also take a small amount of the mixed ashes and bury them at their homes and plant a memory tree. That was a wonderful idea.

I also have been given permission from the Director of Parks & Rec at the town to do this. He asked that we don't draw much attention to ourselves if possible; its on public land but on a mountain ridge over the home where my parents lived for 35 years and were very happy.
That sounds just lovely.

May you find comfort in your memories.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-30-2015, 08:52 PM
 
Location: Retired in Malibu/La Quinta/Flagstaff
1,324 posts, read 1,326,254 times
Reputation: 4381
Quote:
Originally Posted by VJDAY81445 View Post
Surprised a Catholic priest would do that.

The Catholic Church allows cremation but the ashes must be buried in a cemetery.
That's what I thought until I learned that the Archbishop can grant dispensation from that rule on a case-by-case basis.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-30-2015, 09:47 PM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,527 posts, read 39,903,732 times
Reputation: 23634
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrolman View Post
I've used my airplane to release cremains of fellow retired officers. ... chaplain/priest recites prayers or says a few words of comfort. After that, the ashes are released.
DO NOT do as one pilot... drop the urn too!. Ashes did not scatter, but the Urn crashed through someone's roof! (This was about 7-10 yrs ago IIRC).

What an IMPACT!

Sis would not allow cremation, so...
I transported my dad's corpse 2500 miles in my 'SnowBear utility trailer'.
https://www.google.com/search?q=snow...ed=0CAcQ_AUoAg

Picked up a 'last-yr-model' ABS Burial vault in WY. Polyguard Vaults Home - Landing Page
And dropped by to visit a lot of his favorite places..
Yellowstone, Tetons, Beartooth Highway, Sheridan, WY, Devil's Tower, Mt Rushmore, Corn Palace (He played there in Polka Band in the 1940's).

Rented a backhoe and 'planted' him in a rural plot with his pioneer family. (With military honors and using his own military bugle to play TAPS )

We had a VERY healing trip (needed after 32 yrs of my caregiving which he hated every minute of...and let me know every minute too!)

Spreading ashes seems to be a bit easier by comparison. (these stories reveal the complications!)

If needed (if no funds for cremation)... We (WA State) are allowed 'direct burial' on our own property (as do many states in rural areas).
I have my own backhoe and a spot next to my favorite dogs all picked out! (I have a hole dug at the moment for Choc Lab #3, ...in his last days ).

Another option (tho not CHEAP)
White Eagle Memorial Preserve natural burial grounds

preferred planners ... (there are many, but this place is my favorite and has 'associates'. I have helped many people do a <$1000 complete 'job'.)
Seattle|Co-op Funeral Home|Cremation|Burial|Affordable|Services|! (funerals.coop)
(I luv having a .coop email myself!)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-30-2015, 10:51 PM
 
Location: Idaho
4,620 posts, read 4,456,526 times
Reputation: 9033
My mom wanted her ashed to be scattered in the mountains. The local mountains are pretty 'ugly' as mountains go. Sparse trees, mostly coastal sage chaparral, recent fire destroyed most life over the vast range.

So, I kept the ashes for a few years until my brothers could take to time to gather together and we drove up high into the Sierra Nevada mountains. Off the beaten track, a short hike from the road, we found a boulder field at the edge of the plateau that overlooks the adjacent river valley. At the edge of the boulder field was a solitary tree growing out of a crack in the rocks. We took turns scattering her ashes at the base of that sentinel tree standing its lonely guard over the valley spread out below, streatching into the setting sun. She would be happy to rest there.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-31-2015, 07:07 AM
 
Location: The Carolinas
2,003 posts, read 2,016,393 times
Reputation: 6078
I took my Father's ashes from Michigan (where he passed) back to the old family cemetery in Missouri. He was always a Kansas City Chiefs fan, so I buckled his ashes (in a box) into the passenger seat, and placed his favorite Kansas City Chiefs hat on it for the ride "home".

Most of his family, friends, cousins are buried there. It's in an old, country cemetery near the family's church. I spread his ashes carefully across the family plot where his mother, father, and sister were buried. I was by myself, with no one around. I planted a marigold plant near his mother's headstone and gave it plenty of water.

Beautiful, sunny day with a cool breeze, overlooking the farm fields he worked with his dad and brothers when he was growing up. I remembered my father liked the song "Amazing Grace", so I'd looked up the words ahead of time and sang it at the top of my lungs ("off key, of course"). Stood there for awhile listening to the birds singing. . . . packed everything up, and headed home.

It doesn't need to be elaborate, but yes, there are some light ashes, but some remains are akin to kitty litter. They grind the ashes/remains to make them small.

Sorry for everyone's losses, but no one gets out alive. Better make every day count. . . .
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-31-2015, 08:24 AM
 
Location: Scott County, Tennessee/by way of Detroit
3,330 posts, read 2,122,972 times
Reputation: 10277
Quote:
Originally Posted by VJDAY81445 View Post
I transported my wife's urn across 3 state lines to bring her back for funeral mass and cemetery burial of urn.

The funeral director never charged me for a permit but did give me a paper from funeral home so law enforcement wouldn't open sealed urn on a suspicion of drug smuggling.
My friend flew to Ireland with some of my father's ashes in her carry on to spread there for me...they never asked what was in the small plastic case..nor did they care but she had the letter too..in case.... I do like the tree idea!!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-31-2015, 08:40 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,006 posts, read 17,320,800 times
Reputation: 41270
Quote:
Originally Posted by animalcrazy View Post
When my friends husband passed he wanted his ashes scattered in the apple orchard of the mini farm he owned. It was a chilly fall night with a gentle wind rustling through the trees. We parked our cars in an obscure place and with flashlights in tow we headed through the corn field towards the orchard. The farm was owned by another and we did not have permission to trespass. We reached the orchard with "Jimmy" in tow and we each shared a special memory of him. His daughter was to do the honor of releasing his ashes only she didn't check the direction of the wind before she freed her father. You guessed it. Almost everyone was covered with what was left of our dear one. The laughter was contagious and so was the gross out factor.
I am assuming that your friend's husband was the former owner, otherwise you could have just parked near the orchard and not tramped through a farmer's crop of corn to get there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by VJDAY81445 View Post
( 1st paragraph).........."the farm was owned by another and we did not have permission "

As a former farmer/land owner, I wouldn't take too kindly towards people trespassing on my land at night.

Show a little courtesy and ask permission
I would not want someone else's remains scattered on my property.
While, I do not know whether or not most landowners would agree or not agree to having ashes scattered on their land I agree that you need to ask permission before trespassing on someone else's property.

Look at it this way, if you live in the suburbs, would you want a group of people sneaking into your back yard in the middle of the night to spread the cremains of a former owner? That woods, or field, or orchard may look like a "back 40 (acres)" to you but to us farmers/landowners it is our back yard. And, walking through a crop field is not like walking through the grass in a park, depending on the crop and the time of year, it can cause serious damage which could mean a financial loss to the landowner.

I am sorry for your loss, but breaking the law (trespassing) is not something to be proud about.

Last edited by germaine2626; 03-31-2015 at 08:53 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-31-2015, 09:06 AM
 
Location: Chicago area
14,364 posts, read 7,911,249 times
Reputation: 53461
Quote:
Originally Posted by VJDAY81445 View Post
( 1st paragraph).........."the farm was owned by another and we did not have permission "

As a former farmer/land owner, I wouldn't take too kindly towards people trespassing on my land at night.

Show a little courtesy and ask permission
I would not want someone else's remains scattered on my property.


I hear ya, but it was not my decision. That belonged to the widow and his children. I was just along for the ride. No one would even know he was there.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-31-2015, 10:28 AM
 
Location: Dallas
5,601 posts, read 4,929,432 times
Reputation: 16459
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
Why not dig the ashes into the soil and plant a tree above them? It's symbolic, dignified, and produces new life. Ashes blown in the wind are gone.
I love that idea.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-31-2015, 10:51 AM
 
Location: Las Vegas
13,877 posts, read 25,302,878 times
Reputation: 26334
Wow! What great stories!

My dad loved flying and fishing. Decided the airplane thing was too expensive so his ashes went in the Mississippi River. I'm sure he has made it to the Gulf of Mexico by now. Mom actually asked for her ashes to be put on the Continental Divide. H died so young and suddenly I had no idea what to do with his ashes because we had never discussed it. So I went with three of his cousins and we spread his ashes on his parents's graves in a small rural Texas cemetery.

And there is still a metal tag in with the cremains so they can be identified. I kept the tag that was in H's bag.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top