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Old 03-31-2015, 11:17 AM
Location: Maritime Northwest, WA
84 posts, read 118,624 times
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This is something my husband and I have been giving thought to: Husband's father's cremains are interred at a military cemetery in the Midwest, as will his mother's be, but his father's first wife and Husband's older brother are buried in a private cemetery in another state. Husband's younger brother has lived overseas for 13 years, has a family, and doesn't intend to return to the States; our son has similar plans. Thus far we're tending towards what a friend did with a parent's cremains, and thinking whichever of us survives will find a quiet spot on the Oregon Coast and give the other's ashes to the sea.
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Old 03-31-2015, 12:26 PM
Location: Oceania
8,623 posts, read 6,246,452 times
Reputation: 8318
I want my ashes to be placed in the bottom of a 5 gallon bucket, have it filled with concrete and then dropped overboard at least a mile offshore anywhere in the world. I will forever be a mystery for anyone finding the bucket.
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Old 03-31-2015, 12:26 PM
Location: New York Area
15,853 posts, read 6,238,293 times
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Originally Posted by exit82 View Post
If it was me- and my parents liked each other - I think I would combine the remains together in an urn before your ceremony-I guess if you're not "saving" any it could be a pretty vase or similar container so you wouldn't have to purchase the cremation urn with tight fitting lid. When we did it for a family member we passed the urn around and each of us distributed some- sorry for your loss.......
When my uncle wanted to do that after my Dad died in 1973, I told my mother I objected. My mother said "it will be really creepy and really eerie; just let him do what he wants." I don't know if he actually gathered the ashes from the crematory.
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Old 04-01-2015, 09:02 AM
Location: Virginia
8,113 posts, read 12,679,374 times
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My dad wanted his spread between three places in Ohio, VA and FL. Mom mom told me she could figure out how to open the urn and that it seemed to be sealed. After about two years of having it on a shelf she recently placed it in a spot at a cemetery.
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Old 04-01-2015, 10:45 PM
950 posts, read 714,064 times
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When my wife passed away from ALS she was cremated and her urn buried in a Catholic cemetery per her wishes.

She did not want any ashes distributed elsewhere.
A couple of close relatives had began saying they would like a few of her ashes so they could place them in a locket.

I requested the funeral home seal the urn with glue immediately after the ashes were placed in urn.

They stated they had many times had the request that the urn be permanently glued shut.
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Old 04-06-2015, 04:07 PM
1,219 posts, read 1,026,635 times
Reputation: 1997
Just scattered my dog's ashes over the Hudson from a pedestrian bridge. Made sure to go early - no people around; no boats below. That river was one of his favorite places to visit.
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Old 04-10-2019, 03:41 AM
1 posts, read 391 times
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Moving & funny accounts of a land we all call Hope! May God Bless each & everyone - I will remember you for the rest of our life.
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Old 04-10-2019, 04:25 AM
12,677 posts, read 14,063,903 times
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Originally Posted by whirnot View Post
You will find they are not really like ashes, more like Kitty Litter. I have spread them 5 times, 4 times by airplane, and once in Lake Michigan. They do not float in the wind.
Right. Most of the remains are grit...once in awhile there are slivers on bone as well, only a little is ash. Unless there is one hell of a wind they really do not scatter unless you swing the container away from you, and even then they will only go a few feet in front of you.

I have always gotten the "ashes" in the cheapest container if they are to be scattered. Usually a plastic bag inside a cardboard box with some kind of phony leather appearance. The point of this is that the box is easy to open as is the bag so you aren't fumbling around with some awkward container which may be difficult to open. Unless you intend to use the urn as a vase afterward who the hell needs to wrestle with trying to open it.
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Old 04-10-2019, 06:34 AM
2,066 posts, read 703,003 times
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I'm glad the OP decided on burying the ashes and I agree that scattering the to the winds generally doesn't work.

DH was 15 years older than I was and had chronic health issues and, as we expected he died first. We LOVED travel- I still do- and, with his blessing before he died, bits of his ashes are going to places we visited and loved, and places I've gone since. I have a travel-size Gold Bond Medicated Powder bottle that he used, and that's what I use to transport the ashes; it's opaque, it would be expected to contain white, powdery stuff and I put it in my checked bag. So far, since he died in November, 2016:

1. The lake behind our house.
2. The Panama Canal. (Weird detail: I found his dental implant in that batch- saved it and showed it to our dentist and the oral surgeon who'd done the work. As I expected, they were fascinated.)
3. Off the coast of Costa Rica.
4. Two places in Iceland. We LOVED Iceland.
5. At the top of Arthur's Seat in Edinburgh, Scotland- he was of Scottish ancestry and we'd climbed it together in 2001 and visited Edinburgh 3 times.
6. Off a bridge over the MO River in Hermann, MO near our favorite B&B.
7. In the Ganges at Varanasi while a Hindu priest chanted from the Vedas. Wow. We're Christians but that was profound.
8. Under a giant, ancient tree in Kathmandu.
9. Off the Quai aux Fleurs in the Seine.
10. Off the top of a mountain on the Baja Peninsula in Mexico.
11. In the Sea of Cortez.

It was most definitely legal in India, where it is a respected way to honor your dead. The other places? Not sure except that I know it's illegal in Iceland. I never deposit more than about 1/4 cup.

I've told DS that when my time comes they can mingle my ashes with what's left of DH's and do whatever they want with them, although I like the idea of planting a tree over them.

Next destination: Hawaii.
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Old 04-10-2019, 07:09 AM
Location: Loudon, TN
5,767 posts, read 4,825,615 times
Reputation: 19387
I felt it was sort of creepy when my sister's husband passed away and his ex-wife started calling my sister demanding half of his ashes "for his kids" (adults), so they could bury them in a plot his ex-wife had purchased for herself and was still planning on using. We refused, and my sister kept the ashes until she passed away and the ashes of both he and my sister were interred together, as HE would have wanted it. I can't imagine he would have wanted half of him buried with his ex! They were NOT on good terms.

Last edited by volosong; 04-10-2019 at 08:36 AM.. Reason: fixed typo
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