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Old 03-29-2015, 03:15 PM
 
Location: Dallas, TX and Las Vegas, NV
5,695 posts, read 4,415,996 times
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I don't know the right place to ask this question but perhaps many of us have thought about creamation and what happens to the ashes.

Sooo......its time to release my parents' ashes. We have selected the place and time. The big question is the HOW. We have 2 cartons given to us with each parent's ashes. Can't think of a delicate process. We'll be on a hillside and hopefully it will be windy. There will be 5 of us there. Perhaps also a harpist or violinist unless that might make it seem comical.

Suggestions?
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Old 03-29-2015, 03:35 PM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
16,349 posts, read 10,334,620 times
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I'd go with what your parents might have wanted. If they were into classical music, go with the violon or harp.


If they liked blue grass/cw, get someone to play that kind of music-maybe just out of sight. It'd keep the goings-on private and still have music.
Or have it played on some electronic gizmo.

I'd give anyone there a chance to say something, or not.
Then have 2 of you open each container so they can be, well, tossed at the same time.

After, to provide some sort of transition so it doesn't feel like everyone is running away, you might have a special musial piece played, or poem read, or just something as a sort of end.
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Old 03-29-2015, 04:28 PM
 
Location: Myrtle Beach
1,498 posts, read 1,189,644 times
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Use a scarf or streamer to see which way the wind is blowing.
Play what ever music your parents enjoyed. For my father's funeral we chose big band music, he and my mother met at a USO dance and loved to dance, he also played. For a dear friend of my we had folk music from the 60's. There is no "correct" way, just do what makes you think of them or what they might have enjoyed.
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Old 03-29-2015, 05:45 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,971,705 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WorldKlas View Post
I don't know the right place to ask this question but perhaps many of us have thought about creamation and what happens to the ashes.

Sooo......its time to release my parents' ashes. We have selected the place and time. The big question is the HOW. We have 2 cartons given to us with each parent's ashes. Can't think of a delicate process. We'll be on a hillside and hopefully it will be windy. There will be 5 of us there. Perhaps also a harpist or violinist unless that might make it seem comical.

Suggestions?
Why not dig the ashes into the soil and plant a tree above them? It's symbolic, dignified, and produces new life. Ashes blown in the wind are gone.
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Old 03-29-2015, 05:54 PM
 
1,202 posts, read 1,071,153 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
Why not dig the ashes into the soil and plant a tree above them? It's symbolic, dignified, and produces new life. Ashes blown in the wind are gone.
I did something similar with my mom's ashes on our property. My dad wanted his ashes to be released at sea (former Navy) so we also planted a tree in his memory in a local park which he had loved.

A word of caution. I don't know about your jurisdiction, but in some places (maybe all?) it is illegal to toss cremains, as they so tastefully call them. So be sure to remove the little brass ID tag that is in the container before you spread them. Then you'll have that as a keepsake, too. I'm just the messenger here, so if that's erroneous information, then I'm misinformed. But I thought I'd better mention it just in case.

I wish you well as you plan and implement your ceremony.
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Old 03-29-2015, 09:00 PM
 
1,168 posts, read 2,401,550 times
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If it was me- and my parents liked each other - I think I would combine the remains together in an urn before your ceremony-I guess if you're not "saving" any it could be a pretty vase or similar container so you wouldn't have to purchase the cremation urn with tight fitting lid. When we did it for a family member we passed the urn around and each of us distributed some- sorry for your loss.......
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Old 03-30-2015, 08:28 AM
 
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, originally from SF Bay Area
29,777 posts, read 54,424,430 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by movinon View Post
I did something similar with my mom's ashes on our property. My dad wanted his ashes to be released at sea (former Navy) so we also planted a tree in his memory in a local park which he had loved.

A word of caution. I don't know about your jurisdiction, but in some places (maybe all?) it is illegal to toss cremains, as they so tastefully call them. So be sure to remove the little brass ID tag that is in the container before you spread them. Then you'll have that as a keepsake, too. I'm just the messenger here, so if that's erroneous information, then I'm misinformed. But I thought I'd better mention it just in case.

I wish you well as you plan and implement your ceremony.
Yes, there are all kinds of laws. I would make it as low key as possible to avoid being discovered, unless you have secured a permit from the jurisdiction involved. We were recently surprised to find that transporting remains across state lines requires a permit, and we were just taking the urn to be buried in the cemetery with the spouse.

Scattering Ashes | Scattering Laws | Scattering Ashes Regulations
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Old 03-30-2015, 09:05 AM
 
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cremains (that I've seen) don't float off beautifully in the wind like in movies; scattering seems to work
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Old 03-30-2015, 09:25 AM
 
950 posts, read 714,519 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hemlock140 View Post
Yes, there are all kinds of laws. I would make it as low key as possible to avoid being discovered, unless you have secured a permit from the jurisdiction involved. We were recently surprised to find that transporting remains across state lines requires a permit, and we were just taking the urn to be buried in the cemetery with the spouse.

Scattering Ashes | Scattering Laws | Scattering Ashes Regulations

I transported my wife's urn across 3 state lines to bring her back for funeral mass and cemetery burial of urn.

The funeral director never charged me for a permit but did give me a paper from funeral home so law enforcement wouldn't open sealed urn on a suspicion of drug smuggling.
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Old 03-30-2015, 09:25 AM
 
Location: Northern IL
241 posts, read 226,730 times
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Yeah when we did it with my dads the ashes kind of clumped up on the ground. We had to go get a rack to spread them out.
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