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Old 03-30-2015, 02:45 PM
 
2,321 posts, read 2,091,069 times
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My thoughts on funerals: huge money-making industry that will soon be phased out. I think they're an enormous waste of time and money, and they prolong the grieving process because of all the detail and planning involved. I don't think death is or should be such a sad thing, but I don't think it should be a party, either. Just another rite of passage.

Both my parents were semi-religious but decided in their later years that they wanted to be cremated with no service, nothing.

That was a huge relief, because I am an only child and couldn't imagine having to put together something for them. I didn't even live near them. Told the funeral home to discard the ashes; I certainly didn't want them because to me, they just represent the husk, the physical mechanism that souls use to "travel."
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Old 03-30-2015, 02:52 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles>Little Rock>Houston>Little Rock
6,488 posts, read 6,949,638 times
Reputation: 17366
Quote:
Originally Posted by animalcrazy View Post
OMG I do not want anyone looking at my remains. I want to be cremated immediately and placed next to the urns of my dog's, cat's, and pot belly pig. There will be an open house at our house with lots of pictures, videos and funny stories. I do not want any tears, only laughter, good food and drink. Miss me for a little while but focus on the fun times more. I would like that.
This, except for the pig part.
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Old 03-30-2015, 03:19 PM
 
Location: SoCal desert
8,093 posts, read 13,229,344 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
I want it all spelled out in our will so there is no misunderstanding.
And it's still not guaranteed it will be the way you want.
Good-bye ceremonies are for the living.

Although I have told my niece that if anything 'religious' is done while scattering my ashes under the pines ... I'll do my damnedest to come back and haunt her.
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Old 03-30-2015, 04:56 PM
 
950 posts, read 714,519 times
Reputation: 1615
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tobiashen View Post
My thoughts on funerals: huge money-making industry that will soon be phased out. I think they're an enormous waste of time and money, and they prolong the grieving process because of all the detail and planning involved. I don't think death is or should be such a sad thing, but I don't think it should be a party, either. Just another rite of passage.

Both my parents were semi-religious but decided in their later years that they wanted to be cremated with no service, nothing.

That was a huge relief, because I am an only child and couldn't imagine having to put together something for them. I didn't even live near them. Told the funeral home to discard the ashes; I certainly didn't want them because to me, they just represent the husk, the physical mechanism that souls use to "travel."
( first paragraph).................."that will soon be phased out "

Maybe where you live, certainly not where I live
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Old 03-30-2015, 06:45 PM
 
Location: Columbia SC
8,955 posts, read 7,733,997 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by animalcrazy View Post
OMG I do not want anyone looking at my remains. I want to be cremated immediately and placed next to the urns of my dog's, cat's, and pot belly pig. There will be an open house at our house with lots of pictures, videos and funny stories. I do not want any tears, only laughter, good food and drink. Miss me for a little while but focus on the fun times more. I would like that.
I can agree.
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Old 03-30-2015, 08:39 PM
 
Location: Florida
4,360 posts, read 3,696,311 times
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Consider having a gathering at your home.
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Old 03-30-2015, 08:45 PM
Status: "0-0-2 Game On!" (set 25 minutes ago)
 
Location: The beautiful Rogue Valley, Oregon
7,293 posts, read 15,345,231 times
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My father never wanted to discuss the idea and left it to me. He wasn't interested in a religious service and he wanted to be cremated. My mother was cremated as well and her memorial service was held at the funeral home and I hated the tone that set. So I thought about it and decided that if there was anything my father would have liked, it was buying all of his buddies a drink. So I held it at his club with an open bar and a catered happy hour. The tab set me back almost $5,000 (in 2005). But it was his money, these were all his friends, most of whom really stood behind him during his final illness.
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Old 03-30-2015, 09:50 PM
 
48,516 posts, read 83,912,172 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
This weekend, we attended yet another funeral, where the pastor quite obviously had no real relationship with the deceased. Several of our friends have recently begun attending church, after years away, and I have an inkling it might be because they are thinking ahead, even though we are all in our 50s.

But, my husband and I don't want to go that route. We don't want any religious ceremony at all. If he goes before me though, I would like some sort of gathering in his honor, just not at a funeral home, as we both want a simple cremation.

I'm sure we can't be the only people who don't want to resort to a church service, but I've never been to a non-religious funeral, and I can't quite figure out how to make our wishes known, or what a meaningful goodby ceremony would entail.

I'm not sure this is the right forum, but if anybody has any experience in the area, I'd like your thoughts.
You can prearrange everything with funeral home. Visitation and then burial; plain and simple .Done all the time for non-religious.
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Old 03-30-2015, 10:08 PM
 
Location: Ft. Myers
17,628 posts, read 11,170,411 times
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Like most people who are aging, I am starting to give more and more thought to how I want my death handled. I am 99% sure it will be cremation, with my ashes spread somewhere, probably in the Gulf of Mexico. The urn thing doesn't interest me at all, because one of my two Sons would have to drag it around with him forever, and that would be a drag.

I absolutely hate traditional funerals with every fiber of my being. I remember those days when you had to go and sit at the funeral home for days and days, and after a while people started to act like a party was going on ! I will not put my Sons through that ordeal.


Maybe a little get together where my family and friends can tell lies about what a great guy I was. But that will be it.

Don
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Old 03-30-2015, 10:12 PM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,552 posts, read 39,934,465 times
Reputation: 23673
many great threads on this:
Funeral Planning - Pitfalls? Suggestions? Experiences?
Have you made Cemetery/cremation plans yet?
Pre-arranged funeral plans
Your final wishes
Planning for the End

I have done private and public services (as a layperson) for many. (Religious and non)

Really quite ez and very meaningful (and can be fun!). Just do what is right for you and other survivors, and honor the deceased in the process. (Not all were amused at this clip (request of the deceased) ) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K16fG1sDagU

I suggest the resources at funeral.coop ('user owned'... They are not in it for the MONEY!!! )

Not that I will have a say... but I think I would prefer to have an 'Ice Cream Social!', I have already issued my wishes of a 'quite quiet / non-event'... i.e. Here one-day. Gone the next... Poof, gone... Don't know what happened... they just dropped off the face of the Earth!. Flying several times / month on commercial airlines might make my wishes 'realized' ! (including on Air Asia and Malaysia Air (and the WORST of all Spirit! (Hobo)... there is something about that name that makes me contemplate every 'scary flight'))

Last edited by StealthRabbit; 03-30-2015 at 10:21 PM..
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