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Old 03-31-2015, 08:18 PM
 
4 posts, read 2,998 times
Reputation: 21

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I was let go after a working at same place for 31 years at age 50. It was after an acquisition and my services really were no longer required.
Good news is I had planned to "be able" to retire at 50 so financially we are doing ok.

Bad news is most all of my "friends" were from work and we were so busy there was little activity outside work - they are still busy.

I have many projects to keep my day full (recently built my house and am finishing it still, we have some land so I have a large garden, wood working projects, etc) - all of these are solo activities
I am getting very lonely (trying to figure out what that means)

Really enjoy "not working" - much lower BP, getting more exercise, spending time with family that I did not have time before - but I go days (sometimes weeks) without talking to anyone outside of my family.

Anyway found this forum and enjoy reading what others post - felt the need to say something to "someone"

That's all.
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Old 03-31-2015, 08:41 PM
 
Location: Durham NC
1,189 posts, read 1,297,287 times
Reputation: 921
Retired at 50? You done good.
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Old 03-31-2015, 08:42 PM
 
Location: Florida
4,365 posts, read 3,702,696 times
Reputation: 4110
Think about starting a business.
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Old 03-31-2015, 08:58 PM
 
Location: Syracuse IS Central New York.
8,516 posts, read 3,952,856 times
Reputation: 4021
Volunteer. Find a part time job.
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Old 03-31-2015, 11:30 PM
 
6,253 posts, read 4,734,369 times
Reputation: 12845
It must have been a big shock to have an unexpected forced retirement at such a young age. I can imagine being unprepared was the biggest issue. Now that you have been out of work for a year, what have you decided to do with the rest of your life? I know for me taking life easy with some gardening and woodworking would not be enough. I need to accomplish things, excel, learn, try new things, travel. What are your goals, interests and passions and what are you going to do to pursue them? Have you written a book? Achieved great things that you are proud of and will benefit others? Can you express yourself artistically? Are there things you want to learn? Do you want to learn to play a musical instrument or perhaps compose music? "Friends" from work are often really coworkers, not true friends. In the year since you retired, if you have not made any friends, why not? What are you planning to do about that?

With some luck you might have close to half your life left. You are too young to just do things to fill your days and wait to die.
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Old 04-01-2015, 03:23 AM
 
Location: Colorado Springs
4,840 posts, read 4,956,944 times
Reputation: 17309
Human beings are social animals.

When I was "retired" too early I mostly missed working with very smart people and being part of a team solving interesting problems. I felt worthless; my skills were not being used.

You need to have a reason to get up in the morning. You need to contribute.

If I were you I'd go back as a contractor.

I did that. They liked my results so much that they later hired me back full time with benefits.

Retirement is no fun if you end up alone on a couch. You really have to have something to do and you need a large social group where you both give and receive.
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Old 04-01-2015, 07:00 AM
 
Location: Denver, CO
330 posts, read 348,518 times
Reputation: 575
Finding this forum is a great first step, richdown. You've now bumped up against the issue I was fortunately able to think about in advance before my retirement 8 years ago: social interactions.

I'm introverted by nature, and my career was pretty people-intensive. Introverts generally get frazzled by too much social interaction (whether at work or elsewhere), and need quiet time to re-energize. That was certainly true for me, and I never had a busy after work social life although I'm by no means a hermit.

I realized as I made plans to retire from my full-time job at age 58, that I'd need some social interaction to replace all the "people time" I had as part of my job.

I didn't - and don't - have any kind of specific plan for how to do it, but I've bumbled my way along pretty well in the last 8 years.

I agree with Vision67 that work is a great connector. In my case, the old place called me 9 months into my "retirement," needing my so-called skilz and offering me a part time contract. It lasted for 3 years and I'm still in touch with the people I worked with on those projects (a different bunch than the group I'd worked in for years). I've also done part time work totally outside my original career, some of it really not so much for the money as to get out and about and experience new things. Although the money helps of course.

I've volunteered at different places, following my own interests, and some of it was too much like work, but all of it was worthwhile.

I live in a condo complex, and wound up serving two straight terms on the HOA board, not something I'd recommended for fun, but I hope I gained some karma points for being a good community member. And I got to know many of my neighbors that way, and learned a lot! I still volunteer for a few HOA things.

And I traveled. I'm single, and with some trepidation I signed up for a month long tour of Australia and NZ early in my retirement. Visiting Australia was a lifelong dream. I wasn't sure if the tour group would be a bunch of old married couples who'd give me the stinkeye as a single woman, but it turned out to be a hoot. I am still friends with some of the people I met on that tour. Singletons and couples.

I'm still finding life a challenge, but I've got to leave now to get ready for work so you're spared the details. Yes, I'm working about half time in an office, and I'm fine with that.

Congrats on your new home! Good luck!
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Old 04-01-2015, 07:35 AM
 
4 posts, read 2,998 times
Reputation: 21
Hey all thanks for the responses!

As several mentioned - start a business, volunteer, part-time job all are in my thought process.
When my wife and I moved last year we were headed in a direction to establish a small farm with some sort of event hosting ability. We have not yet pulled that trigger.

During the last year I have spent more time with parents and other family that I had net had the time for the last 15 years. We also have traveled (interesting how trips now seem like an effort and not quite as exciting as they were while I was working ).

jrkliny is correct that "work friends" are co-workers (and in my case most were employees) - I do have a few that are in the friend category but daily interaction has now become a few comments on facebook and a lunch meeting every other month.

As I have been looking into why I feel isolated and how I got here (engineer problem solver in my wants root cause:-)) what I have really come up with is that I am by nature a somewhat introvert (I like my down time) - that said in groups once I step in I am very engaged, seem to be well liked. Where I am now is that over the last 30 years I was so busy working (many years in international sales, so rarely in the same place more than 2-3 days) and moving between locations that I did not develop any close buddies - golf pals for the weekend etc. My closest friends are people that I worked with during these sales engagements - we are still connected but it is via facebook/phone as nearest friend is 800 miles.

The wife and I need to assess if the farm project will be good or actually be more isolating! Where we are now we have neighbors, but you need to use binoculars to identify anyone you see in the distance - so no normal interaction. The property we have for the farm is a couple miles further out and is surrounded by large agriculture tracts.
The area that most interests me other than the farm is non-profit work - I was in all areas of tech sales and ran a successful $500M business unit - I do have some skills that I think I should be using (but not in an effort to kill myself as I was before they turned me loose).

Anyway I will stay connected here while I continue on this journey.
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Old 04-01-2015, 08:16 AM
 
Location: Columbia SC
8,969 posts, read 7,741,639 times
Reputation: 12182
rich

I suggest you do not spend your time and money on a unproven, cutesy idea like the "farm". If interested in a business, then consider buying an existing one with a plan to grow/expand it. I would also consider going back to work even on a part time basis.

If being bored is the real issue and you have enough money, then consider volunteer work. I play golf 3-4 times a week so this is how I fill my time.
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Old 04-01-2015, 09:09 AM
 
Location: Londonderry, NH
41,492 posts, read 51,385,768 times
Reputation: 24613
From what you said it seems like you were and probably are a good sales manager. So what if you were retired at 50. Just because that organization did not need your skills does not mean other companies also do not. Why not uses your skills consulting with companies that do not have the means to fund a full time sales manager? You could probably do most of this from your spare room. All you really need is the reliable internet connection that you already have. so set up a system to sell your skills and yourself to folks that need and can pay for the help.

In my case I also do not get out very much. I do not like to sit around barrooms trying to find a sober and intelligent person for a good conversation. I do most of my conversations on this board. I also am active in town politics. That is more amusing than you would probably believe.

I also advise you to avoid farming at any scale. The old adage of "if you value your freedom never own anything that need feeding or painting." Farming requires little else except a lot of money.
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