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Old 04-04-2015, 05:38 PM
 
Location: MMU->ABE->ATL->ASH
9,126 posts, read 17,141,418 times
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Q: Does he have "good" cell coverage where he lives?

One Phone option might be to "Port" his Home Phone to a Cell phone, one with bluetooth, Month to month plan, then port the number to google voice, so you can then white list allowed in coming calls. All other calls go to voice mail you control. Whitelisted calls get forwarded to his "cell" that has "real" phone blue tooth attached to the cell.

You have to get rid of the check book/debit card. Get him either a Low Limit credit card so he can do his day to day charges, but can't charge up large amount. Or Go for something like a Cash Value debit card, that has a very limited amount of money on it, and can be tossed over to new card if he gives it out and recurring charges start on it. And you can Add money remotely to it.

Last edited by flyonpa; 04-04-2015 at 06:46 PM..
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Old 04-04-2015, 06:45 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,170 posts, read 8,694,591 times
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Smile You said it very well and thank you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by jghorton View Post
Unfortunately, there are many crooks and scam artists out there just salivating over the opportunity to steal from the elderly, infirm and probably their own mothers. They work harder finding new ways to lie and take advantage of people ... than they would if they actually worked at a good, honest job.

Recognizing this, it is very difficult to keep someone else protected from the thieves and from their own declining abilities. It is even more difficult (and less desirable) to wrestle control of someone's life away from them, if they are only making 'bad decisions,' but, are not fully incompetent or giving away the house. Those who advise: "simply take away their car keys, credit cards, mail and checkbook" have probably not dealt with the reality of this situation. (particularly when it comes to an individual who is still living in their own home and making most of their own daily decisions).

IMO (with some experience), the 'trick' is to intervene where necessary, but, not in a way that compromises the dignity and sense of independence of the individual. One can, for example, leave the car keys intact and the vehicle in the garage, but, disable the vehicle. Remove or disfigure a number on and 'extra' Credit Card, so it will not work with random phone solicitors. Instruct caregivers what to watch for and to alert husband to potential problems; Intercept outgoing mail 'orders and subscriptions' (that will quickly be forgotten anyway); Check-in even more regularly with the individual and be alert for 'bad decisions.'

These and other creative 'interventions' may or may not work. But, at 92, trying to change the habits of a lifetime is a waste of time and effort, while forcefully robbing him of his independence, will only speed-up the inevitable. Enjoy him (and protect him) while and where you can -- and stay close enough to know when/if he truly becomes a danger to himself.
You said it so nicely; thank you! We do some of these things and will look for more things but the caregivers have been wonderful to him (and to us) and are a true life line. A lot of this has to be on my husband's end but the ideas, often, have come from this forum so thanks to all.

Hopefully, nothing major in the next year - it seems "things" happen more around tax time which is major deadline crunch time for my hubs. We work around 90 hours a week and try to fit this in also.
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Old 04-04-2015, 11:20 PM
 
1,975 posts, read 3,261,855 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
Caretakers' domains are the activities of daily living, not financial matters, nor should they be. I would, however, call the local Area Agency on Aging to see what protective services they may provide, if any, regarding fiduciary elder abuse or what referrals they could make.
Partially true about the caretakers. Where are the caretakers when the solicitors show up? At the very least they should be giving some kind of daily report of what goes on, outside of the activities of daily living. They must notice so many magazines and deliveries.

The other red flag for me is the common theme for a lot of the products and magazines that you mentioned. Woman/women related. Are the caregivers female? I know you said they are angels, I hope you are right. I have seen it first hand when a caregiver steals and is dishonest. I worked with another caregiver for the same client. She lasted about a month. Credit card companies calling the client's house because she gave them that number as her own number. She would access parts of the house that were off limits. She did a lot of shady things.

My point is that the caregivers should not just be providing meals, rides, errands, etc., they should be providing you with information about everything that goes on in your FIL's house. It still falls under the duties of caregiving. I agree that they should not be involved with finances.

I wish you the best of luck.
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Old 04-04-2015, 11:30 PM
 
10,817 posts, read 8,063,256 times
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DH & I a few weeks ago decided to unplug our landline and see how it goes using just our cellphones.
So far so good, and then I discovered our landline provider (AT&T) has a call-screening feature by which you can designate up to 20 callers will be allowed through and all others will reach a message saying their calls are disallowed.

This will seem to solve all our problems. We want a few callers to be able to reach us if they call our land line #, which we've had since 1984. But we don't want all the scummy calls to come through. In the meantime, we'll continue to notify folks to use our cellphone #'s. This appears to be a win-win for us.

DH said, if only this feature had been available a few years ago when we needed to get rid of all the scummy callers ringing his mom's phone. We could have set up her phone to allow only our and our siblings calls through.
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Old 04-05-2015, 02:41 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,170 posts, read 8,694,591 times
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Smile Thanks for all the ideas!

We saw my FIL Easter Sunday and I expected to see more decline but frankly, I saw improvement and feel somewhat relieved.

We spent about 6 quality hours with him and during that time, I gave him some ideas about direct deposit, on-line billing (where he would review the statement first) and a freeze on his credit report.

I told we would fill out the forms and bring them to him next weekend for him to sign. He said OK, didn't seem upset at the suggestions at all.

I also told him I cancelled his Hydroxotone order and he looked blank, picked one up from the dining room table and said "this" and he said "OK" - so I took them home to try (anti-aging - can't hurt, right?)

I'll work on all this and the phone but feel a bit relieved that he's better than I thought. Just was a happy day for him, I think.
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Old 04-06-2015, 07:41 AM
 
Location: Florida
4,365 posts, read 3,700,708 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post
We saw my FIL Easter Sunday and I expected to see more decline but frankly, I saw improvement and feel somewhat relieved.

We spent about 6 quality hours with him and during that time, I gave him some ideas about direct deposit, on-line billing (where he would review the statement first) and a freeze on his credit report.

I told we would fill out the forms and bring them to him next weekend for him to sign. He said OK, didn't seem upset at the suggestions at all.

I also told him I cancelled his Hydroxotone order and he looked blank, picked one up from the dining room table and said "this" and he said "OK" - so I took them home to try (anti-aging - can't hurt, right?)

I'll work on all this and the phone but feel a bit relieved that he's better than I thought. Just was a happy day for him, I think.
Utilities will sometimes add a contact person if a bill is past due. Avoids utilities being turned off. Also his bank might send a duplicate statement to you.
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Old 04-06-2015, 02:11 PM
 
12,825 posts, read 20,141,183 times
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Now that I am past 50 the scammers must have determined I am feeble minded, and summarily, the frequency of scam calls increased.

Here is one of my favorite abatement methods.

Take phone off hook, innocently say "hello?"

As soon as the scammer starts to give his or her schpiel, grab compressed gas boater's distress horn (available at any marine outfitter). Don ear protection. Hold up horn to telephone's speaker. Depress horn's trigger.
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