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Old 04-03-2015, 10:48 AM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,200 posts, read 8,726,423 times
Reputation: 6243

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We have just been made aware that my FIL has been received either phone calls or a knock on the door (magazines) and said yes.

He may have initiated a phone call to an 800 number which sells the info, I'm sure, to others.

We just found he has been overdrawing a bank account and were confused as funds go into this account.
A recent statement shows a bunch of transactions - most likely, he gave them a debit card at one time and charges keep coming.

I called and cancelled one (which were women's anti-aging products) - not exactly the product for a 92 year man! Last month, he was charged $152.48 plus $75.00 in late fees from the prior month. It's called Hydroxotone.

Then, the magazines. Over 200 have arrived since December. Cosmo, Ebony, other's women's magazines - from a place called NME.

We want to stop these - is there a way we can put a lock on his phone where certain numbers don't go through?

I think he is saying "yes" out of fear.
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Old 04-03-2015, 11:15 AM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
3,747 posts, read 4,234,589 times
Reputation: 6867
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post
We have just been made aware that my FIL has been received either phone calls or a knock on the door (magazines) and said yes.

He may have initiated a phone call to an 800 number which sells the info, I'm sure, to others.

We just found he has been overdrawing a bank account and were confused as funds go into this account.
A recent statement shows a bunch of transactions - most likely, he gave them a debit card at one time and charges keep coming.

I called and cancelled one (which were women's anti-aging products) - not exactly the product for a 92 year man! Last month, he was charged $152.48 plus $75.00 in late fees from the prior month. It's called Hydroxotone.

Then, the magazines. Over 200 have arrived since December. Cosmo, Ebony, other's women's magazines - from a place called NME.

We want to stop these - is there a way we can put a lock on his phone where certain numbers don't go through?

I think he is saying "yes" out of fear.
It looks like he probably called NME after receiving a sweepstakes type communication in the mail.

National Magazine Exchange Business Review in Seminole, FL - West Coast Florida BBB

I (secretly) added my father's name to the "no junk mail" list and this has eliminated a lot of the solicitations. Of course I also (again, secretly) added both his landline and cell phone numbers to the "Do not call list". The one problem I have not been able to address is the door-to-door salesman.
I'd call his carrier. I remember when folks needed to block outgoing 900 numbers and it was doable, it seems to me blocking 800 numbers should also work. Let us know how it turns out.
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Old 04-03-2015, 11:16 AM
 
Location: Florida
4,402 posts, read 3,740,490 times
Reputation: 4163
Yes. Just call the phone co. for help.
Your phone may also be able to block calls. Search the internet for a user manual.
Close the debit card.
Get a new checking account and if you can start doing his banking.
Do not be an owner or his account.
Contact your states elder services for help.
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Old 04-03-2015, 12:03 PM
 
950 posts, read 718,488 times
Reputation: 1615
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post
We have just been made aware that my FIL has been received either phone calls or a knock on the door (magazines) and said yes.

He may have initiated a phone call to an 800 number which sells the info, I'm sure, to others.

We just found he has been overdrawing a bank account and were confused as funds go into this account.
A recent statement shows a bunch of transactions - most likely, he gave them a debit card at one time and charges keep coming.

I called and cancelled one (which were women's anti-aging products) - not exactly the product for a 92 year man! Last month, he was charged $152.48 plus $75.00 in late fees from the prior month. It's called Hydroxotone.

Then, the magazines. Over 200 have arrived since December. Cosmo, Ebony, other's women's magazines - from a place called NME.

We want to stop these - is there a way we can put a lock on his phone where certain numbers don't go through?

I think he is saying "yes" out of fear.

sorry, but your father appears no longer to be able to use a credit card wisely.

just as with a drivers license...............at some point someone must intervene and take it away.
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Old 04-03-2015, 12:36 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,200 posts, read 8,726,423 times
Reputation: 6243
Smile Blocking the numbers

I told my husband some of this would start to happen. My FIL is a nice man but stubborn.

He'll not pay $2.00 for parking but has all this junk come to his house. The thing that worries me is solicitors coming to his door and if he is there alone at the time, he would be easily talked into it.

AT & T is his carrier - I'm on that and will get his services changed. Trying to block the numbers should work; will update when I get that done.

My husband is joint on some of the accounts but we can't change that.

Already did the "Do Not Call" list. Forgot about that one; have it on all our phone numbers!

Thanks for the tips!
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Old 04-03-2015, 12:53 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,302,199 times
Reputation: 22403
Put a "no solicitors" sign on his door. Find out if his municipality has an ordinance about solicitors (many do). Does his neighborhood have a neighborhood watch? Do you know his neighbors? Are there any who will keep an eye out about solicitors and intervene? I know that is asking a lot but . . . they could always call the police if there is a no solicitation ordinance and ask the police to clear the door-to-door folks off the street.

Just a thought.
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Old 04-03-2015, 12:55 PM
 
Location: MMU->ABE->ATL->ASH
9,140 posts, read 17,215,641 times
Reputation: 9995
Actually you want to "Flip-it" if you can.

Don't Block numbers, cause you can never get ahead of it, But "White" list number that are allowed to get thru. All other Caller Get Either Blocked, or Directed to VoiceMail Only.

If AT&T can not do it there are other ways to do it.
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Old 04-03-2015, 01:22 PM
 
477 posts, read 401,071 times
Reputation: 1547
It sounds like it is time for your husband to become Payee for your FIL.

A Payee has control over all finances. As Payee, you can close all his current accounts and reopen one to which your FIL has no access. He should have limited cash on hand, no debit card, no credit card, and no checking account.

Also, as a Payee, you are legally responsible for showing that you are spending his money in his best interests and not just stealing it. My relatives blocked my attempts to become Payee for my dad. Instead, he gave me Power of Attorney. With a PoA, you have no legal responsibility to show how you use the money. You can just do whatever you want with it. You can even sell his house and car and other belongings and keep the money. Had I been so inclined, I could have cleaned him out and dumped him. Payee is a LOT more restricted and monitored.

Had I been Payee instead of having PoA, I could have got my father into the assisted living - half of a duplex in a senior community, 2 BR with a garage, and they would have come out and dug his garden for him every spring and changed lightbulbs and done all the home maintenance, including regular cleaning - and stopped my evil sibs from taking his money and making him pay their mortgages and utilities.

And my dad would never have been up on a ladder trying to change a lightbulb on the weekend I was too sick with pneumonia to make the 6 hour drive to his house (instead of my siblings who live 30 mins to an hour away, one of whom hadn't seen him in 15 years but who felt she had the right to talk him out of making me Payee and helping him get moved).

Anyway. Become his payee. Open an account for him at the grocery or do his shopping with/for him. Open an account for him at the pharmacy.

Get a phone - landline - for him that will block all calls from unrecognized numbers. There are probably even ways to block calls to anything but whitelisted numbers - such as emergency, 911, fire, police, relatives, pharmacy, doctor.

Honestly it sounds like its time for assisted living or for a caretaker to move in with him (or for him to move in with a caretaker).

The longer you wait, the more likely he'll end up in a full-care facility sharing a room with a person who yells about invisible birds. That's what happened to my dad because the rest of the family stopped me from moving him into assisted living. Then he ended up with me after taking a fall wherein he broke a vertebra. He never quite made it back from that injury before he died. He moved in with me because by that point they wouldn't accept him into assisted living any more, and I wasn't going to leave him to wither away in a room with a screamer.

So don't fool around. Get him in a safe situation, before its too late.
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Old 04-03-2015, 01:31 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,200 posts, read 8,726,423 times
Reputation: 6243
Smile He has caregivers already!

We have got to go a bit slow on the financial stuff though. He is stubborn, very controlling but change of behaviors in some things in the past few months (my own observation).

He refuses to leave the home and according to an attorney, he does not have to. The caregivers come each day - my husband is there on Sunday. He is by himself at night but the caregivers stay till almost dark.

He sleeps at night (full night).

He does not fix any meals. The caregivers do that.

He walks with a cane and still reads, watches TV and can have lucid moments.

My husband is his only child and is on most accounts, however, his dad is very secretive about things and keeps to himself.

The caregivers are just angels and like him.



Update on the A T & T:
Just got a new package and lowered his bill from $122 monthly (joke) to $59 (with taxes and fees). He has the call blocking feature.
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Old 04-03-2015, 01:32 PM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
3,747 posts, read 4,234,589 times
Reputation: 6867
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post
I told my husband some of this would start to happen. My FIL is a nice man but stubborn.

He'll not pay $2.00 for parking but has all this junk come to his house. The thing that worries me is solicitors coming to his door and if he is there alone at the time, he would be easily talked into it.

AT & T is his carrier - I'm on that and will get his services changed. Trying to block the numbers should work; will update when I get that done.

My husband is joint on some of the accounts but we can't change that.

Already did the "Do Not Call" list. Forgot about that one; have it on all our phone numbers!

Thanks for the tips!
He sounds so much like my father. I finally told myself I don't care if he loses tens of thousands of dollars. I am so over it.

I realize not everyone can be that cavalier, but until my father loses a substantial amount of money, there's little I can do.
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