U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 04-28-2015, 11:10 PM
 
9,676 posts, read 15,852,351 times
Reputation: 16013

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by PAhippo View Post
rather than paying to remove it, could you just offer it to someone for the hauling?
List it on Freecycle
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-29-2015, 06:23 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,967,079 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryleeII View Post
List it on Freecycle
Nobody would ever want two tons of demolished pressure treated deck lumber. We were lucky to find someone to haul it away at an affordable price.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-29-2015, 06:28 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,967,079 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ultrarunner View Post
If it wouldn't be missed... well I guess that is an option.
I was going to ask your opinion on PAhippo's suggestion. But who know what he's going to miss? It may be the very thing I throw away. Normally we respect each other's space, but at this stage in our lives it occurs to me that if anything happens to him I am seriously stuck with an enormous task that I will not be able to handle. I'm hoping that in the fall we can have a calm discussion. One thing I MAY do is go through all the nearly empty paint and stain cans in the cellar that are probably polluting our house. To get rid of those, though, one has to dry up their contents before dumping. He would see all those cans basking in the sun on the side of our house and secretly bring most of them back in!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-29-2015, 12:33 PM
 
Location: UpstateNY
8,612 posts, read 8,295,877 times
Reputation: 7522
LOL negirl, every year I save the 'free dump day pass' from our landfill.

Haven't been there in over ten years.......

Ultrarunner, thankfully we didn't get into cars, the tractors were enough. But we both love doing them so no nags here.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-29-2015, 02:55 PM
 
26,589 posts, read 52,257,058 times
Reputation: 20402
I would say it all depends on the marriage dynamic.

Plenty of guys I know have detached shops... kind of a man cave and it keeps everyone happy unless "He" is spending too much time out there.

I think a good purge is good for the soul every so often... and moving or preparing to move can be a blessing.

I've been around too many that said if only we would have known... people that were fastidious against clutter...

Not much point in keeping various paints and such... a little touch up for the formula should suffice.

Maybe coordinate with community drop off days to make it a win/win?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-29-2015, 04:19 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,967,079 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ultrarunner View Post
I would say it all depends on the marriage dynamic.

Plenty of guys I know have detached shops... kind of a man cave and it keeps everyone happy unless "He" is spending too much time out there.

I think a good purge is good for the soul every so often... and moving or preparing to move can be a blessing.

I've been around too many that said if only we would have known... people that were fastidious against clutter...

Not much point in keeping various paints and such... a little touch up for the formula should suffice.

Maybe coordinate with community drop off days to make it a win/win?
Marriage dynamic? LOL. I am a volatile mix of Italian and French (not your normal laid-back lady, though I can be sophisticated "when required"). He is a quiet mix of Danish and Swedish (doesn't talk). You can guess what the dynamic is there.

No really, it's over the top with this stuff. You'd have to see it to believe it. The only way I've been able to handle it is by not going into those spaces. I keep reasoning "let him keep all this stuff, after all, he is renovating." But we are near the end of that and no move has been made to address this.

My mom was a widow for 28 years. When my sister and I went to clean out her cellar before her final move, our hearts sank when we saw all the stuff down there, and it was nothing compared to my house now. Most of what we have is leftover lumber and tons of hardware, "in case I ever have to build anything again." I have news, we are not building anything more, and that stuff is not coming with us when we inevitably, some day, move. Between two renovated homes over 16years, I have been a renovation widow. I want a few years of doing nothing before I pass on to happy acres.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-29-2015, 06:13 PM
 
26,589 posts, read 52,257,058 times
Reputation: 20402
What about a sea going shipping container???

This way all you need to do is make one call and have it hauled away... container and all.

One of my friends retired after 40 years as an AT&T engineer... they had a very good marriage with the only rough spot the first 18 months after he retired... they had 4 grown daughters so he was always the odd guy out... not that he minded.

Anyway, the problem started when he started taking on projects around the house... many his wife had on a to do list. She came home one day and had completely rearranged the contents in the kitchen cabinets and had boxed up quite a bit saying he couldn't remember the last time it was used... he also took to cleaning... deep cleaning... moving all the furniture to get ever nook clean... it got to the point where she laid down the law... it was her kitchen and her house and 40 years of marriage never a dispute.

He was really trying to be productive and helpful... even started doing grocery shopping and cooking...

I guess the point was he had encroached too much on what had been her exclusive domain.

About the time things were darkest... one of his daughters was having daycare problems... so Dad jumped in with one phone call... it was a perfect match... he had a purpose and loved every minute with his baby grand daughter and 2 year old grandson... said he had missed a lot working all those years...

Maybe the moral is to pick your battles and/or find something productive for your guy to do?

I can get a better visual now... strong silent Nordic type married to an outgoing Italian/French woman...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-30-2015, 07:41 AM
 
Location: UpstateNY
8,612 posts, read 8,295,877 times
Reputation: 7522
negirl, I feel your pain; been living in the ongoing reno for 24 years. It's not getting finished, and I don't care.

Lucky me, he wants to get rid of stuff. The pneumonia/pleurisy is really keeping him down.

Unlucky me, he wants to keep damn near all of the furniture. Not because of the quality, because of the memories. I'm not having it.

For today I boxed up a humidifier, a non electric phone and some Miracle Grow I forgot to give to my neighbor and shipped it off to my mom. She needs them and I was going to donate them anyway, so win-win!!!!!!!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-30-2015, 10:02 AM
 
26,589 posts, read 52,257,058 times
Reputation: 20402
Sometimes it's not getting rid of things... it is how you get rid of things...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-30-2015, 11:12 AM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
16,336 posts, read 10,327,920 times
Reputation: 28449
Got a box started for Salvation Army-mostly kitchen stuff. And a pile of recipe books started for the library.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top