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Old 04-16-2015, 01:15 AM
 
71,626 posts, read 71,751,865 times
Reputation: 49225

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tominftl View Post
Just seems to me that most of the men I know are dominated by their wives. Not for me. I want to be myself. Most wives I know want their husbands to wear the wedding ring, THROUGH THEIR NOSE!!!!!!
hey , wait a minute . i resemble that remark.

i need my wife to tell me when i am hungry or sleepy.


honey where are my socks ?

in the sock draw


oh okay .....


you have to see me standing in the kitchen asking where we keep the toast lol


i guess there is a price to pay for my whit and charm , i am high maintenance . ha ha ha

in fact the single women at work tell me i make them very happy .

they see how needy i am and go thank god they are single .
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Old 04-16-2015, 03:59 AM
 
1,974 posts, read 2,723,689 times
Reputation: 3497
Just a little something that is interesting (perhaps): When my first ex and I were in marriage counseling (I was young -- in my 30s), our marriage counselor said that there are two kinds of people: those who want to be married to their soul mate; and those who just like being married -- and the latter tend to have much better marriages because their expectations (of their spouse and their marriage) are much lower than those of us who want to be married to our 'soul mate'.

My first ex just liked being married, and I wanted to be married to my soul mate (and he was NOT it -- not by a long shot -- I knew that at the time I married him, but, well, there was a lot involved that had nothing to do with him -- and, no, I was not pregnant, altho' I don't think it's 'bad' at all when the woman is pregnant -- I just don't think it makes any difference -- all that matters is that the couple love each other -- and I've always thought that way).

So the first thing I did was look at the four other couples that my ex and I were very close with. (The 5 of us couples were like family -- closer than family -- for 10 years.) And sure enough -- the ones who just liked being married had much better marriages. And THEY are still married!

The other thing is: I worked, for almost 30 years, with A LOT of women -- well over 100 -- and during that time, we all got to know each other very well -- most of us did anyway. (And, yes, there were many woman coworkers who I went all the way through my work life with. The pay was so good and the benefits were so good that few people left once they were hired.) And out of all those women, there were only two who were consistently happily married and content. One said she married her best friend (she was also sexually attracted to him -- I think that would have to be an absolute necessity) and fell in love with him 'over the years'. The other said that she married her husband because he was a great guy and because she knew he'd make a good father (which he proved to be, as their children came along), but she wasn't in love with him -- in fact, she said she got cold feet walking down the aisle! Yikes! Yet, 15 years later she would say, "I fall more and more in love with him everyday."

So, anyway, I have always found these two things very interesting.
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Old 04-16-2015, 04:48 AM
 
Location: Where the sun likes to shine!!
20,517 posts, read 26,381,924 times
Reputation: 88542
No I wouldn't remarry. My husband is the best and it won't get better than him I've known him for 40 years and been married for 17. No one else can ever know me as well as my husband does. Besides I really don't want to deal with other people's baggage.
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Old 04-16-2015, 06:00 AM
 
Location: Florida
2,291 posts, read 4,947,532 times
Reputation: 5236
Never, I too, was a caregiver, while I worked full time, 12 long years. At my age I would get some old guy wanting me to take care of him, cook, clean and so on. I am done with that part of my life. I have enough money to support myself, am very self-sufficient and enjoying my retirement, family/ friend relationships complete my circle of life!
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Old 04-16-2015, 06:11 AM
 
4,481 posts, read 4,743,979 times
Reputation: 9940
Ugh, the term "soul mate". Makes me cringe.
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Old 04-16-2015, 06:23 AM
 
Location: MID ATLANTIC
7,738 posts, read 18,618,916 times
Reputation: 8399
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Siegel View Post
Wow, lots of bitter people here. Yes, I would get married again. I'm 60, male, and have been married since i was 26.
I don't see the statements bitter in the least. More like refreshingly honest. Life is too short to repeat mistakes, that's why the youngsters value our so-called wisdom. If I had to put a label on it (and I detest labels, or, one word descriptors), I would call it selfish.
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Old 04-16-2015, 06:55 AM
 
1,974 posts, read 2,723,689 times
Reputation: 3497
Quote:
Originally Posted by brava4 View Post
Ugh, the term "soul mate". Makes me cringe.
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL Yes, I agree -- but you got a better descriptive word?

And you are one of the ones who just likes being married?
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Old 04-16-2015, 07:23 AM
 
4,481 posts, read 4,743,979 times
Reputation: 9940
Quote:
Originally Posted by SmartMoney View Post
I don't see the statements bitter in the least. More like refreshingly honest. Life is too short to repeat mistakes, that's why the youngsters value our so-called wisdom. If I had to put a label on it (and I detest labels, or, one word descriptors), I would call it selfish.

What is selfish??? Not choosing to remarry?
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Old 04-16-2015, 07:35 AM
 
Location: Orlando
1,992 posts, read 2,637,223 times
Reputation: 7588
I think "selfish" is too negative to describe this. "Self-sufficient" is more like it.
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Old 04-16-2015, 07:47 AM
 
4,481 posts, read 4,743,979 times
Reputation: 9940
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fran66 View Post
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL Yes, I agree -- but you got a better descriptive word?

And you are one of the ones who just likes being married?

Soul mate, to me, implies that there is just that ONE person for you in life. In your entire life. I think that is hogwash. I've had long term relationships and found that there were several people that I was very compatible with. When a relationship ended, I realized I could find compatiblility with lots of people (partners) but that no one person would/could fill the bill totally so there were differenet aspects found in more than one person. I didn't have several relationships going at once but found I wasn't devasted when one relationship ended because I knew there would be more that provided what it was I needed/wanted. Hence, my not seeing one person and the "be all end all" for a spouse/partner (however you look at them). Frankly, I would never want anyone calling me their soul mate. I would never want to be that "EVERYTHING" to a person. I would have to wonder about that person's ability or lack of to have a sense of autonomy.
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