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Old 04-14-2015, 01:42 PM
 
284 posts, read 260,088 times
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I won't say never, but I think I'd be fine with a great travel companion and a Great Dane
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Old 04-14-2015, 01:43 PM
 
1,227 posts, read 1,262,491 times
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I was widowed decades ago and since that time I've studied grief and worked as a facilitator (both assistant facilitator and lead facilitator) for various grief groups.

Personally, I subscribe to the Transformative Grief theory of bereavement which basically states that grief is a process through which the bereaved learn how to continue their bond with those they have lost and their previous lives. During grief we learn and we change. There is a personal growth however much we might fight it.

Having said this, men and women tend to grieve differently. Men tend to seek ways to "fix" the problem. Therefore, they are more likely to remarry quickly. Women try to "understand and dissect" their emotions. Therefore, they are more likely to need time to digest their changes before entering into a new relationship.

In my groups I have heard hundreds of people proclaim that they will/will not ever remarry. Life is filled with surprises. People who were dead set against remarriage will remarry if the "right" person presents him/herself . People who were dead set against living their remaining life as a single person will remain single and learn to see the positives in this lifestyle if they never meet the "right" person. We cannot know what is in our future.

Because grief is transformative, we are unable to accurately predict how we will receive new people in our lives or what we will actually do in the event our marriage dissolves through death or divorce. However, whatever happens, with time we will learn to live in our "new normal".
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Old 04-14-2015, 01:54 PM
 
1,588 posts, read 587,704 times
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A female here -- If something happened to Hubby and I was left alone, I would be open to re-marriage and I think my Hubby would too if I go first. We like companionship -- someone to talk with, eat with, go to church with, travel with, get a few new step-grandchildren and family members. I would leave it open to possibility....
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Old 04-14-2015, 02:09 PM
 
Location: Colorado
18,836 posts, read 4,950,245 times
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I'm 68, my husband and I have been married 45 years this month...No I wouldn't want
to marry anyone else...(If you meant would I marry the same person again, yes.)
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Old 04-14-2015, 02:28 PM
 
Location: Greenville, SC
703 posts, read 798,002 times
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I am 52, dh is 66. We've been married 32 years. I can not imagine my life without him. He would be a TOUGH act to follow. I don't think it is possible. With that said, and being perfectly HONEST, I would only marry again for financial reasons. Sadly, that will probably be my situation. I tell him all the time he needs to outlive me or we need to go together.
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Old 04-14-2015, 03:11 PM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
5,806 posts, read 4,854,199 times
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I have had two marriages. The first lasted 10 years and he left for another person. My second, we have been together for 18 years and married for 10. We're very happy and I am sure we will be together until one of us checks out. If he goes before me, I don't believe I'd marry again. I love the companionship, but I'm also a loner and I like my privacy and freedom to come and go as I please. As someone else said above, I will be done with compromise. I am getting older and more set in my ways, and I've met very few men whose BS I would put up with anyway. Under the right circumstances I might spend time with a good man, but maintain my autonomy and my own place.
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Old 04-14-2015, 03:13 PM
 
Location: North Beach, MD on the Chesapeake
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At 60 (I'll be 61 in a couple months): likely
At 70: less likely
At 80: no
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Old 04-14-2015, 04:27 PM
 
5,820 posts, read 5,194,224 times
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This thread made me think of my friend Marie, who is in her late 70s. Her husband died when she was in her 50s. He was drunk out by the river and got struck by lightning!

I asked her if she had ever thought of marrying again, and her reply was: "Naw, I'm done with all that mess!"

She's the happiest person I know!
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Old 04-14-2015, 04:34 PM
 
6,842 posts, read 3,882,320 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sirron View Post
There is no way on God's green earth I'd do it again.

Nine. Nyet. Nada. Fin. No.
I sooooo agree with you!!
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Old 04-14-2015, 04:47 PM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
37,152 posts, read 45,704,508 times
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I have been married twice, since I was 18, and now I'm 67. If something happened to my darling husband, I would not get married again, except if the new man was very rich and healthy. I suspect it would be less hassle to have a little dog. In the past, I always had men circling around, but now I just want to do as I damn well please.

I am an old fashioned woman, who likes to have someone to cook for, and take care of. I suspect I would still be social, and find a way to do this, but there would need to be a huge financial incentive for me to take a chance on getting married again. Like if a man wanted a traveling companion on his dime, I'm there.

We live across the street from a widower. He lost his second wife to cancer a year and a half ago (the same kind of cancer as his first wife!) After a year went by, he started keeping company with a widow. I don't know where they met, but I suspect it was a support group. I felt the one year wait was very respectful to his former wife (they are in their 70s) and I'm happy for them. He just bought the new woman a Miata convertible, and they spent the weekend shining it up...so cute.
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