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Old 04-30-2015, 07:10 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,751,136 times
Reputation: 32309

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Quote:
Originally Posted by brava4 View Post
Did this not occur to you as you were planning on when to retire?
I think that's unnecessarily harsh. Sure, in an ideal world we would all think about all kinds of things ahead of time. But it's not too late for the OP to begin to create a new social life for herself. Also, I think the OP was unnecessarily harsh on herself - she is not pathetic, but well within a range of normalcy. That is, I believe she has plenty of company. And she is doing the right thing in asking for people's ideas here, and the responses already received are excellent.
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Old 04-30-2015, 09:20 PM
 
14,264 posts, read 24,009,233 times
Reputation: 20092
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeanne Wolf View Post
I retired April 1 after 36 1/2 years. (co-op college student right out of high school). My husband is still working. I've been working on my personal "honey-do" list, but really need ideas for getting out and being with people! Unfortunately, I'm not a real outgoing person, so I don't have friends other than the people I used to work with. SAD...I know! Any suggestions for how I meet friends or things I can do I know I sound pitiful...but I'm really a normal person trying to get used to my new routine.

You are not much different than those of us who have uprooted ourselves and moved cross country. When I came out here last January, we knew no one in Arizona. Now, we have a dozen friends and a great number of acquaintances.

Your best bet to meet people is volunteering at something that you are passionate about.

My biggest problem after retirement is that we had an eight month lag from the time we bought a place in AZ until my wife retired. I was split between Tucson and Chicago. I could not get really involved in wither location. Fortunately, that has been remedied.
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Old 04-30-2015, 11:05 PM
 
10,819 posts, read 8,071,380 times
Reputation: 17034
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeanne Wolf View Post
Unfortunately, I'm not a real outgoing person, so I don't have friends other than the people I used to work with. SAD...I know! Any suggestions for how I meet friends or things I can do I know I sound pitiful...but I'm really a normal person trying to get used to my new routine.
There's nothing unusual or sad about this at all, you're perfectly normal and it's very common.

You'll just have to push yourself to get out there and look for people opportunities. Volunteer work, special interest (gardening, photography, yoga, sewing, genealogy, reading, pets?) occasions, community ed courses, meetups, church and political groups if they're your thing, etc.
Go to movies, museums, libraries, farmers' markets, and other cultural events you enjoy. The sky's the limit, since you have plenty of time on your hands.
As you do all the above, keep an eye out for anyone who reminds you of yourself - i.e. looks a little reserved. Pretend you're the outgoing one and s/he is the reserved one who needs to be drawn out. Say hello, make a little small talk, but don't push it.

You might not find a new best friend or even anyone you want to invite home for dinner, but these activities will keep you involved with other people. Even if it's just a few conversations a week, it's all good.

In the meantime, cherish, enjoy and celebrate your delicious alone time! You've earned it.
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Old 04-30-2015, 11:33 PM
 
Location: Scott County, Tennessee/by way of Detroit
3,330 posts, read 2,127,102 times
Reputation: 10277
Hi Jeanne...just retired ourselves from Clinton Twp..right next door to you... moved to Tennessee the day after my husband retired and I was at a loss here too..not knowing anyone...I volunteered at an animal rescue and have met a few people that I really like.... I know there used to be a volunteer section in the Daily there...maybe you could find something that interests you....plus Summer is coming and that means more outdoor activities to keep you busy....I am finding I like to garden...I never had time before...And 36 1/2 years is a long time to work so I am sure it was a shock not getting up and going into work!!! I felt that way!!!

Biscuit mom has some good ideas....GOOD LUCK!!!! I do miss a few things from up there ie..Salvaggios and Randazzos and Vince and Joes...nothing even close here!!!!
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Old 05-01-2015, 12:22 AM
 
2,630 posts, read 1,938,761 times
Reputation: 4597
Astronomy Club (read up and attend a gathering)
Audubon Society (read a book, go on an outing)
Billiards (got a good beer garden nearby with free pool table?)
Bingo
Bridge (totally addicting; take a class if you've never played)
Bowling

that's just a and b. Make an alphabetical list. You'll come up with some activity you can share with others.

or....start a thread: "Things to do to socialize, A - Z"
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Old 05-01-2015, 02:11 AM
 
15,149 posts, read 19,775,478 times
Reputation: 21344
When I was recovering from a stroke nine years ago, I became very aware of the need for someone to run errands for the elderly and shut-ins. I was able to take a taxi to my daily physical/occupational therapy sessions for 6+ months but many shut-ins cant afford that. There are groups that will taxi them where they need to go but, again, those services cost $$$.

So, now that I've retired, I'm running errands (picking up prescriptions, buying groceries, taking pets to the vet, checking on them, etc) for several shut-ins. It's very fulfilling. I looked into getting additional liability insurance so I could drive them to medical appointments as well, but that turned out to be too expensive.
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Old 05-01-2015, 05:05 AM
 
2,462 posts, read 2,105,372 times
Reputation: 3605
I am a bit away from actually retiring (well unless my job gives me the boot -) I am 61 and keep saying I will likely stay here as long as I have this job. Anyway, I have found that somehow I hardly have any friends. I know it's strange to wake up and realize it but I do have friends ; they are just not people I see regularly. The people I interact with on a daily or weekly basis are from work, at the gym, but not really friends at all. I used to have lots more "friends" or at least people to do things with. ( I am married, so I am not solitary but I do enjoy meeting a friend for dinner or lunch or shopping- girl time and I am missing it).
I know our move is in the future as well, and I sure don't feel tied to the area. In the meantime, I have checked out meetup which was suggested earlier. I think while I really haven't met friend potential people YET from there, it really is a good thing to check into. New groups keep being added and there is something to be said for repetitive meetings. Sometimes from being familiar with someone it leads to another opening.
Good luck and let us know what you find out there.
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Old 05-01-2015, 06:28 AM
 
5,825 posts, read 13,324,952 times
Reputation: 9303
Quote:
Originally Posted by volosong View Post
Thank you so much for this link, Ellwood. System wouldn't let me rep you again. I registered on the web site. This just might make me reconsider to where I will spend my retirement years. There are a whole bunch of volunteer opportunities out there, some of them in areas that I have experience/talent.
I'm glad it was helpful. Another thought, if you are near one of the organizations that train puppies for veterans you can help by just socializing them.
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Old 05-01-2015, 06:31 AM
 
5,825 posts, read 13,324,952 times
Reputation: 9303
Quote:
Originally Posted by brava4 View Post
Did this not occur to you as you were planning on when to retire?
That isn't helpful.
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Old 05-01-2015, 06:41 AM
 
Location: Sunny Florida
7,136 posts, read 11,020,638 times
Reputation: 9460
I don't think you sound pitiful at all. Many of us have experienced this due to moving and other life circumstances. I was so lonely when we first moved to Florida that I actually googled how to make friends when you aren't working.

I think the key is to determine what you like to do and then go out and find people to do those things with. I went to meetup.com and put in my interests and they suggested a few groups. I joined an adult kickball team and Bunco group and both have been a source of joy. I worked at a kitten/cat rescue, until it closed down, and that brought me the most satisfaction. My husband and I joined a book club and pickleball group, although neither of us had ever heard of or played pickleball before, and find that to be a great way to meet people our age. I garden daily, so finding a garden club is on my current to do list along with finding couples to hang out with and/or play Euchre with. So far we haven't met any Euchre players, but we're hopeful.
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