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Old 05-17-2015, 01:01 AM
 
Location: Amongst the AZ Cactus
7,074 posts, read 4,927,858 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meo92953 View Post
Thanks Raleigh, for reminding us of this. Years ago I was puzzled and astonished when I waas changing jobs and one woman sai I'd changed her life. I could never figure out how, except I'd shared my son's bipolar illness and the meds he took to help. I guess I also did advise where he'd gotten help. That's the only thing I could gfigure out. You never know when you are helping someone. The best thing is to be real and let God guide your mouth.
If God guided your mouth, how can you take credit/believe you are responsible for changing this person's life?

May I respectively suggest giving YOURSELF credit for making a positive impact on this person's life, meo92953.
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Old 05-17-2015, 04:32 AM
 
6,277 posts, read 4,740,348 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meo92953 View Post
........... let God guide your mouth.
Right now God seems to be busy guiding the Islamic terrorists.
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Old 05-17-2015, 06:19 AM
 
Location: RVA
2,172 posts, read 1,268,333 times
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I've thought a lot about this the last few days, since the passing of one that made a huge difference in thousands of lives, Dean Emeritus William Grogan, from Worcester Polytech, where I got my degree. I knew him fairly well back then, but never realized what a Real giant he was, when it came to affecting peoples lives. Thousands of comments and testimonials have been posted since his passing, all about heis selflessness and impact. Indeed, I'm sure hundreds or thousands of educators have similar accomplishments to different degrees. My wife, though she retired 8 years ago, to this day, still can't not run in to former students, now adults, that virtually all say the same thing "you were my favorite teacher of all time, and you really made a difference for me, thank you" she taught special ed/learning disabled and many of her students have jobs and feel or are actually successful because of her. Its sad that the people that can make the biggest difference, inevitably get paid the least. My biggest accomplishment is finding my wife, and supporting her so she could finally retire comfortably.
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Old 05-17-2015, 06:39 AM
 
Location: Florida -
8,767 posts, read 10,851,233 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mastequila View Post
It's interesting to appreciate the vast spectrum of interpretations of "the meaning of life" (or whatever you want to call our topic). One of the obstacles to my retirement is that I fear I won't matter so much anymore. Of course, I realize there're ways to transfer the skills that allow me to make a difference, and that's where I concentrate my planning. And although we might be forgotten in 3 generations, or even 3 years, if we have added value along the way, the ripple effect might last eternally. ER's story is illustrative of that, and who knows who's thought similarly of YOU, although may never have connected with you.

I've been a flight attendant and seen the world, learned to fly, raised some champion horses, have some great kids, saved some lives, solved some crises. One thing, though, that really stands out for me is the gratitude of a college kid stuck in the ED with a diabetic crisis who was abject about missing his team competing in the NCAA final four. I found a TV for him. No big deal, right? But I'll never forget it, (kid probably has ). Since I consider myself totally normal, I just figured everybody thought back over their day to kind of gauge how they did. No?

Great post, keep on fishin'!
Your post reminded me of a statement by an 84-year old woman I had been helping. She started with, "When I was still viable." She had once been a beautiful woman who was quite active on the stage and in social circles. But, at this time, she was living in an ALF without many friends or close family.

After a few years of retirement, there is no more circle of 'work connections' (I've thought of it like 'pulling one's hand out of a bucket of water'). After 3-4 years, we moved to be nearer the grandkids; now we no longer have a close circle of friends and contacts nearby. The move also cut some ministry, golf and lunch group ties. I've also been slow to get re-involved in things in our new location. While these things have been our own choices, it sometimes feels like I am 'disappearing from the world' a little at a time.
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Old 05-17-2015, 06:58 AM
 
Location: Central IL
15,251 posts, read 8,543,297 times
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Asking this question when you're retired is about the most depressing thing I can think of! I certainly feel no need to justify my life to anyone...and asking it of yourself so late in life doesn't give you a lot of time to make up for it. Certainly not if you're judging your life by having kids!

I guess it will jolt a few people into volunteering all the time they used to spend working into making up for a life ill-spent but I think I'll have to pass on that and travel instead.
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Old 05-17-2015, 07:09 AM
 
6,277 posts, read 4,740,348 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63 View Post
Asking this question when you're retired is about the most depressing thing I can think of! I certainly feel no need to justify my life to anyone...and asking it of yourself so late in life doesn't give you a lot of time to make up for it. Certainly not if you're judging your life by having kids!

I guess it will jolt a few people into volunteering all the time they used to spend working into making up for a life ill-spent but I think I'll have to pass on that and travel instead.
Whoa!! I think it is more important than ever to look at this issue when retired. Many of us are absorbed in raising kids and working for decades on end. When we retire, we have an opportunity to consider new goals. I see nothing depressing about that unless you are at the very end of your lifespan. Even then it might be a good idea to consider your behavior in the last few days.

No one said you need to justify your life to others. You need to justify your life to yourself. You might indeed want to consider volunteering your time to help others or to help improve our world. Your goals might be entirely personal such as traveling, learning, or mastering skills such as playing a musical instrument. You could chose to sit and watch TV and just march towards your death. Again that is your choice but something you might want to think about.
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Old 05-17-2015, 10:52 AM
 
Location: Central IL
15,251 posts, read 8,543,297 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63 View Post
Asking this question when you're retired is about the most depressing thing I can think of! I certainly feel no need to justify my life to anyone...and asking it of yourself so late in life doesn't give you a lot of time to make up for it. Certainly not if you're judging your life by having kids!

I guess it will jolt a few people into volunteering all the time they used to spend working into making up for a life ill-spent but I think I'll have to pass on that and travel instead.
I evaluate my life "as I go". It's far too late for me to have a family of my own but I've spent lots of time helping a disabled sister and will continue to do so for probably ANOTHER 20-30 years...my significant other also has particular issues requiring more than the typical attention so I feel I'm doing what I can for "family" without actually having kids. For most people, THAT is their biggest achievement - unless you're a renown scientist or humanitarian, work typically isn't seen in that light. I won't be spending my retirement making up for guilt from my past but if it's something fun that happens to also benefit others, that's great! And no, I won't be watching TV until my death...though I don't scoff at those who do spend a few hours doing just that, especially if it is educational!
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Old 05-17-2015, 12:17 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,697 posts, read 23,676,966 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63 View Post
I evaluate my life "as I go". It's far too late for me to have a family of my own but I've spent lots of time helping a disabled sister and will continue to do so for probably ANOTHER 20-30 years...my significant other also has particular issues requiring more than the typical attention so I feel I'm doing what I can for "family" without actually having kids. For most people, THAT is their biggest achievement - unless you're a renown scientist or humanitarian, work typically isn't seen in that light. I won't be spending my retirement making up for guilt from my past but if it's something fun that happens to also benefit others, that's great! And no, I won't be watching TV until my death...though I don't scoff at those who do spend a few hours doing just that, especially if it is educational!
Good for you. Some of us don't have to wait until we have raised kids to achieve new goals. Some of us have been doing that all our lives.

But in regard to that, I feel if one's goal is to just sit and watch TV until the end, and one has achieved that goal, it can be said that an achievement has been made.

I get a bit weary of people suggesting the same old same old as to what people's goals should be no matter how good they may sound. I think after living a life of taking care of yourself and perhaps others, working hard and doing whatever was necessary to survive, if people reach a certain age and maybe a certain financial stability they should feel they are free to make any kind of choices. They shouldn't have to feel pressured into making new goals if they don't want to.

I say sit in front of the TV if that's your desire. Read your book. Stare at a tree.

Do it. Or don't. As long as it's a personal choice and not one dictated by a feeling of guilt that in retirement we all should be doing something to be saving the world, taking up a new hobby or writing the great American novel. Not unless you want to of course.

My goal in life is to not feel I have to listen to others telling me what I have to do or should be doing in retirement. And now I am going to spent some quality time playing with the cat.
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Old 05-17-2015, 04:10 PM
 
Location: Amongst the AZ Cactus
7,074 posts, read 4,927,858 times
Reputation: 7701
Aside from applying for a job position, not having to answer to anyone's often narrow definition of what one's "accomplishments" are in life is a good thing in my book. And it screams a bit too much ego in my view to feel the need to list them out, yes?
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Old 05-17-2015, 05:54 PM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
16,361 posts, read 10,348,905 times
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Originally Posted by stevek64 View Post
Aside from applying for a job position, not having to answer to anyone's often narrow definition of what one's "accomplishments" are in life is a good thing in my book. And it screams a bit too much ego in my view to feel the need to list them out, yes?
totally agree.
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