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Old 05-24-2015, 06:55 AM
 
Location: Central NY
4,655 posts, read 3,239,300 times
Reputation: 11912

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Hello. I hope someone can put some light on a subject I am struggling with.
I currently live in a 55+ income-based apartment complex. Mostly women, a few men. Most in decent shape, some not so much.
The owners of this complex (they have several complexes scattered throughout the area) seem to take little interest in correcting what needs fixing, etc. For instance this past winter with all the snow we got there were areas of snow on the roof that hung over the walkways making those enter/exit areas potentially quite dangerous. Only after many, many complaints and maybe a phone call to the local TV station that features problems not being addressed did they finally get someone to clear those areas. Our maintenance guy had fallen on ice (not at complex) and has been out of work for a long time. So for a while even the sidewalks were not being plowed/shoveled. It was a mess.
Somehow about a month or two later water backed up into some of the first floor apartments saturating the rugs in the living/dining areas around 8 p.m. one night. Someone called the complex manager who came over to assess the situation. She was upset when she saw what had happened and the people thought she should "fix" it right there and then. She did call a company that came to mop up and put heavy-duty fans in the areas to dry them out. Unfortunately, the occupant of that one apartment that was affected the worst had to spend the night while the fans were running.
I know this is a long story.... sorry. Anyway, a lot of the residents got on the complex manager's case saying she "should have done this, should have done that." And some name-calling. Gosh we seniors can be mean.
I personally thought one of the owners or upper management should come over and maybe do something more helpful.
I had not gone downstairs to see for myself as I was in middle of being ill and didn't want to leave my apartment (I'm on 2nd floor). Heard a couple neighbors outside my door and I did go out to see what had happened. One of them, a man who is extremely loud, referred to the complex manager as "Nazi."
Wow, I really lost it. I hate name calling but using that one particular word was totally uncalled for in my opinion. I blew up at him for calling her that.
Now he is mad at me, doesn't speak, gives me the hairy eyeball if we see each other (we are on same floor).
Was I wrong to call him out for calling her that? I don't get why she got the brunt of the anger. Why not be angry with the complex owners/upper management? The night it happened it was a very frigid night.... maybe that's why owners/upper mgmt didn't come to see it.
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Old 05-24-2015, 07:41 AM
 
Location: NC Piedmont
3,911 posts, read 2,876,920 times
Reputation: 6291
People lash out at the access point; it's the easy thing to do. They cuss out cashiers over store policies, abuse and/or stiff wait staff over issues other than service and chew out customer service reps when it isn't within their power to do what is being asked. "I showed them!" Many do hate being called out for it, though some soften and admit they were directing wrath at the wrong person and maybe will be less prone to doing it again. So I don't think you were wrong.
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Old 05-24-2015, 09:11 AM
 
Location: Central NY
4,655 posts, read 3,239,300 times
Reputation: 11912
Thank you CarvedTones.
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Old 05-24-2015, 09:58 AM
 
Location: Prescott AZ
6,119 posts, read 9,073,863 times
Reputation: 11540
I think it would be best to just let it go. Move on and don't worry about what happened. You are moving anyway, right? So why give it a second thought???
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Old 05-24-2015, 11:36 AM
 
Location: Central NY
4,655 posts, read 3,239,300 times
Reputation: 11912
Default Hello

Quote:
Originally Posted by PhxBarb View Post
I think it would be best to just let it go. Move on and don't worry about what happened. You are moving anyway, right? So why give it a second thought???
I think I might have just vented about that situation. The man in question just rubs me the wrong way, so it is probably a personality thing.
I've been trying to change how I react to things. Want to be more aware of what sets me off so maybe (it's a big maybe) I can cool it down when I feel it happening.
CarvedTone said some good stuff, too. The word "Nazi" is horrible. They were so horribly cruel and I did not think the girl who was called that deserved it.
A bit frazzled today. Saw sister today after she had her foot x-rayed. In addition to all her other problems (cancer, cerebral palsy, scizo) she also has dementia and because of the C.P. her speech is unintelligible. In my younger years I strained very hard to understand. Now I don't because I just can't do it anymore.
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Old 05-24-2015, 01:28 PM
 
11,929 posts, read 20,379,765 times
Reputation: 19328
Yeah, but Nazi is the word tossed out when someone disagrees with someone else nowadays. People no longer understand how awful they were...or remember what they did....
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Old 05-24-2015, 03:24 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,655 posts, read 3,239,300 times
Reputation: 11912
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tallysmom View Post
Yeah, but Nazi is the word tossed out when someone disagrees with someone else nowadays. People no longer understand how awful they were...or remember what they did....
I think that is what bothers me more than anything. Just another word. They don't think. Kind of like the F-bomb.

What's next? I cringe to think of it.
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Old 05-24-2015, 07:03 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,612 posts, read 4,686,468 times
Reputation: 27846
You said you've been ill and in your own words, "a bit frazzled." That's probably not unique to you in that building full of seniors. It sounds like everyone's been stressed-out.

Sometimes we wound people even when we're in the right. Would you consider apologizing? Not about him using the Na word but about "blowing up at him" -- your words -- in that situation?

A simple apology might work wonders.
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Old 05-24-2015, 07:23 PM
 
11,929 posts, read 20,379,765 times
Reputation: 19328
Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post
You said you've been ill and in your own words, "a bit frazzled." That's probably not unique to you in that building full of seniors. It sounds like everyone's been stressed-out.

Sometimes we wound people even when we're in the right. Would you consider apologizing? Not about him using the Na word but about "blowing up at him" -- your words -- in that situation?

A simple apology might work wonders.
I have to take exception here -- Nazi isn't a swear word, and while it's being used in the wrong manner -- we shouldn't give it more power by calling it the "Na word". There are still real Nazis around.... although calling them the "Na word" might drive them crazy...
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Old 05-24-2015, 09:07 PM
 
48,516 posts, read 83,901,398 times
Reputation: 18049
There is a reason the government more and more is getting out of owning income based housing. The huge cost from lack of people living in them caring.
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