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Old 05-26-2015, 01:21 PM
 
753 posts, read 706,211 times
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Another introvert here and also on my own for the first time in 37 yrs. Grew up with 5 brothers and sisters, went from my parents home to our married home and had kids around until 2012.

With hubby gone, the two cats and I are really starting to adjust to living "alone" and have to say we are starting to like it and enjoy it.
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Old 05-26-2015, 03:51 PM
 
Location: Backwoods of Maine
7,110 posts, read 8,150,955 times
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It isn't at all bad, if you have separate houses!

We live on 33 acres. My wife and I have a new ranch house that we built. On the back of the property, her brother has a single-wide mobile home that he gutted and completely rebuilt. My own brother, also no longer married, stays up here in a camper during the summer, and is planning to build a cabin of his own. So...we have 2 sets of siblings, containing a married couple.

I can't tell you how handy it is to have another adult that you know and trust, living on the same property where they can help with projects and chores. It's nice to have cook-outs at dusk, and get together for dinner and discussions around the table. We all get along pretty well.

There's also a bunkhouse we built for our daughters and their families (we have 6 grandkids). They come up from Rhode Island during summer and school vacations. This past winter/spring, my wife's brother went in with us on a new place down in TN, where they both have family.
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Old 05-26-2015, 03:52 PM
 
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I could do this with some other cat ladies. The Cat Lady Golden Girls.... I actually like the idea!
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Old 05-26-2015, 03:59 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles>Little Rock>Houston>Little Rock
6,488 posts, read 6,949,638 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post

I don't think I'd want to live with other women. Just too many areas (in living together) for risk. Maybe men, if they stay in their rooms and be quiet and mow the lawn and take out the trash.
This sounds feasible to me.
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Old 05-26-2015, 04:03 PM
 
Location: Downtown Toronto, Ontario
120 posts, read 229,438 times
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Well, just looking around downtown here and seeing non-alcoholics and non-drug addicts now living in what used to be fleabag hotels by the bus station, I think a communal living arrangement like this would work out...with some common core values amongst everyone of course. For me, since I probably won't have kids or grandkids and I've lived alone since 18, I think I'd like this. But immediately some things cloud my judgment...I don't smoke and I don't think I'd be cool with 3-4 others in the place I called home who did; since I have no kids or people I'd be allowing over I'd have to know a little more about the others and how often they'd be bringing family/friends/old classmates to spend weekends; how does the financial situation look between us all, as it would be difficult to be with three people barely scraping by each month (or vice versa!).

It's tough because everything I see has taught me there's no guarantee that when we get to retirement age, everything will have been figured out, our living situation will be affordable and we will be in a healthy environment to enjoy that time. I see a lot of older people who are on waiting lists or not sure what's going to happen next month or can't afford prescriptions or their own doctor is retiring and they now have to wait three months to see someone new - all things I thought by a certain age, you know, we've worked long enough and hard enough (and paid into the system) and shouldn't have to wait for long wait lists or maybe get housing or decent health care. It looks like those later years are about to get a lot more expensive than we thought.
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Old 05-26-2015, 04:32 PM
 
Location: Cushing OK
14,547 posts, read 17,540,572 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AZDesertBrat View Post
When I was much younger I had my share of room mates, male and female. Some of those were in assigned housing so, unless there were really bad personality clashes, etc., that's who we shared with. I never had any bad experiences but some partied too much. lol Nowadays, I have to say "No" to room mates. I value my privacy, peace and quiet way too much. One of my nephews called and asked if I would consider renting out my guest BR to his daughter. My other niece isn't living here anymore, thank goodness. I told him I would "think about it" but so far it's still "No". I really don't want to live with a 19 year old!
The worse was when I was in temperary housing while waiting for housing to finish. We had eight grown women in this one house. On believed, though nobody had told her she was, that she 'ran' the house. The day I moved in I spilled something, and didn't clean it up IMMEDIATELY she got in my face. It's usually not my thing, but I got right back into hers. The look of shock was victorious. She still thought I was a terrible person but tended to grumble outloud, not to me. But my roomate and I were the pirannas and I got a cheap tv so we kept our door shut and watched tv on our own.

It was needed and I'm glad that it was there, but it was also a zoo and egos grow when you can push people around. When I rented rooms, which I did as soon as I could, at least the room was MINE and I had to be left alone there.

Now I revel in living alone with only critters for company and love it. Between the rented rooms, the zoo, the zoo the neighbors were at the apartment next to me, quiet and peace is a necessary component. Even if its a friend and your sure its going to be fine, its also an excellent way to LOSE a friend.

I know some people are perfectly ok to live in a group of people and be happy but its something you have to be able to do or you'll be miserable. Find out first before you decide its your option.
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Old 05-26-2015, 04:57 PM
 
Location: Cushing OK
14,547 posts, read 17,540,572 times
Reputation: 16771
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toronto416 View Post
Well, just looking around downtown here and seeing non-alcoholics and non-drug addicts now living in what used to be fleabag hotels by the bus station, I think a communal living arrangement like this would work out...with some common core values amongst everyone of course. For me, since I probably won't have kids or grandkids and I've lived alone since 18, I think I'd like this. But immediately some things cloud my judgment...I don't smoke and I don't think I'd be cool with 3-4 others in the place I called home who did; since I have no kids or people I'd be allowing over I'd have to know a little more about the others and how often they'd be bringing family/friends/old classmates to spend weekends; how does the financial situation look between us all, as it would be difficult to be with three people barely scraping by each month (or vice versa!).

It's tough because everything I see has taught me there's no guarantee that when we get to retirement age, everything will have been figured out, our living situation will be affordable and we will be in a healthy environment to enjoy that time. I see a lot of older people who are on waiting lists or not sure what's going to happen next month or can't afford prescriptions or their own doctor is retiring and they now have to wait three months to see someone new - all things I thought by a certain age, you know, we've worked long enough and hard enough (and paid into the system) and shouldn't have to wait for long wait lists or maybe get housing or decent health care. It looks like those later years are about to get a lot more expensive than we thought.
My first experience in sharing a place was a good friend. After Mom died, Dad had rented a room in the house to her and we got along wonderful. So since Dad assumed we were both maybe twelve, we looked for an apartment. We found one and at first it was great. It was especially great not having dad come and remind us on a Friday night we should go to be early.

Then she met someone, job became questionable and I met someone and then where we'd go to a concert as friends, it was always if there was no date. It hurt. And she decided to move mid month leaving me the whole rent and two weeks of the month to replace her. She didn't have the money to go see him weekly out of town and pay her part of the rent. I ended up with my boyfriend moving in. Dad didn't take it well, but Dad also claimed odd people were hanging around my door all night and such. He moved. We ended up 'staying with friends' for a while.

What I learned about that was money and habits and what you like for dinner really DO matter, and the best thing is to sit down and make a plan. What do you do if one of you have a date, or a visitor? Who gets to decide what you buy for meals when you both pay. What if one of you needs to move, how much lead time do you get? And sign it. It may sound like your friends will always work out but 24/7 its not so simple.

If you've never shared, and your retiring, and your looking at it, this is even MORE important. The last thing you want is to find out your roomate is really really sorry but they are moving now and they're sure you can find someone by the next month. It's not just the financial stuff but it is the personal sense of being betrayed which leads some of us to not want to even try.
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Old 05-26-2015, 09:09 PM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,969 posts, read 3,455,934 times
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I cannot live with other people, unless it is a man who apprecites good cooking AND is willing to help with clean-up.

I lived with my brrother for a year and enjoyed it but when I needed a back operation, lived with my sister for over a year and that did not work so well. Mainly because it is hard to see the pain people (me) go through when the back acts up.

I recently moved into a rent-based senior housing and it is heaven. I miss my cat because they don't allow animals but my brother took him so I can still see him.

Yes, I have to budget, but I always have so that's not different.
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Old 05-26-2015, 09:44 PM
 
766 posts, read 1,158,366 times
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I prefer 3rd shift. I have a friend that prefers 2nd shift. Find a 3rd that prefers 1st shift. I'm an introvert by nature. Find 2 other introverts & what's the problem???
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Old 05-26-2015, 09:52 PM
 
766 posts, read 1,158,366 times
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Back a few yrs ago, I realized I needed to get the house ready for sale. After the sort, sift, pitch, purge phase.... I boxed up 80% of what I owned.

During that year of dealing with Stuff, and having the house on the market (must be ready for showing at the drop of a call).... guess what I learned?

You NEED a kitchen. You NEED a bathroom. You NEED a bedroom. Any other rooms are pure LUXURY!

Again.... put 3 Introverts together, on different schedules, and I see it as very *do-able*.
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