U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-27-2015, 09:46 PM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,978 posts, read 3,464,691 times
Reputation: 10513

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal2NC View Post
"People being left and not having a support system with the resultant loneliness and isolation is a big issue in this society."

That is a really important point you made. When my ex and I split, I was alienated from family, most of my friends were married and didn't want to be friends anymore, and while my ex caused the split, the kids sided with him and broke it all off with me. I was not an especially strong person at that time. I was getting stronger but had not reached the place I needed to be. So I was more or less facing life alone for the first time ever and scared to death. Of course my ex had his new woman and his mother refused to believe he was a cheater, etc. He moved in with his parents and his mother thought he was a hero because he even made his own lunch. Wow. My measurement for hero is a lot tougher.
Anyway, after a lot of years of floundering around, I got some really good counseling, made new friends, and started to heal.
That was a pain I never want to feel again.
I am so glad you healed. It is a long hard step. I also went through this type of instance and it was tough. I was alone for many years, then lost my job & subsequently lost my house. I went to live with a brother & sister-in-law and, although we'd all loved each other years before, it just didn't work. Went to live with family & a different brother who was divorced and was really grateful for my help. Then, my back got worse & worse & it was finally determined that I had to have a back operation. At this point I moved in with my sister - who has a serious case of managing folks. How I lived with her for a year is beyond me. But, I did.
Now that I have my own space again, it is so nice. I can't imagine ever giving up my freedom again.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-28-2015, 12:08 AM
 
2,429 posts, read 3,226,304 times
Reputation: 3330
Quote:
I could do it and plan on it. I get along with almost everyone.
I'm definitely open to it. And have already told friends that IF our late-in-life housing and other needs are compatible at that time....that I'll propose it. But we'd have to be on the same page....or at the same place in life.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-28-2015, 03:19 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,985,208 times
Reputation: 15649
I had a really sad falling out with one of my very best friends last year. I wanted to talk with her about the reasons but she did not, she chalked them up to my oversensitivity. After consulting with others for a reality check (was I oversensitive?) I finally came to the conclusion that this friendship was more hurtful than it was nurturing. I "unfriended" her with much personal pain. I feel much better off now, as the relationship had become draining, after many good years.

So I wonder about this in a GG household...what if you have a falling out with one or several, or they with you? The household splits up and there go the plans and financial/functional setup. A bad place to be when you're at an advanced age.

I think finding the most laid-back, non-opinionated people you can possibly find for a GG household is a good idea. That lets me out. (:
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-28-2015, 03:53 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,677 posts, read 3,250,875 times
Reputation: 11982
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
I had a really sad falling out with one of my very best friends last year. I wanted to talk with her about the reasons but she did not, she chalked them up to my oversensitivity. After consulting with others for a reality check (was I oversensitive?) I finally came to the conclusion that this friendship was more hurtful than it was nurturing. I "unfriended" her with much personal pain. I feel much better off now, as the relationship had become draining, after many good years.

So I wonder about this in a GG household...what if you have a falling out with one or several, or they with you? The household splits up and there go the plans and financial/functional setup. A bad place to be when you're at an advanced age.

I think finding the most laid-back, non-opinionated people you can possibly find for a GG household is a good idea. That lets me out. (:
I understand the hurt and pain that goes along with doing that. But I commend you for finding the courage to do it. Sometimes people are wonderful and we cherish their friendship; then something happens and it all gets turned around. I think it happens to a lot of us. Treasure the friendships you have now but know if you need to do it again, you can.

Keep your chin up! Like Li'l Orphan Annie sings.... the sun will come up tomorrow. Good to remember.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-28-2015, 05:59 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
13,890 posts, read 25,335,938 times
Reputation: 26388
I always thought that kind of living arrangement could be fun and advantageous. A group could afford to live in a much nicer place than any of the individuals could. But I think everyone would need their own private space. You would have to get along with everyone and be willing to compromise.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-28-2015, 06:24 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,677 posts, read 3,250,875 times
Reputation: 11982
I'd have to eat an awful lot of cheesecake.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-29-2015, 04:29 PM
 
4,346 posts, read 6,061,197 times
Reputation: 10443
I don't think I could do this. I never had a sister, never had to share nice. I need my own space and lots of it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-30-2015, 03:56 PM
mlb
 
Location: North Monterey County
3,188 posts, read 2,858,918 times
Reputation: 4880
I am one of seven children and had my own room when I turned 13. After I left home at 17 I was in my late 20's when I lived alone for the very first time.

It was glorious.

I lean alot on my husband to do stuff around the house for us.... if anything ever happened to him I know I could live alone. But would I want that isolation?

I certainly would choose to live near siblings (we never had kids).

I have friends - mostly women friends - who are talking about small/tiny home enclaves where there would be shared resources/land/activities. I'm not certain I'd want a tiny home - but I would love company. Only if they would leave when I tire of them.

I don't want anyone sharing my space, however.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-31-2015, 01:08 PM
 
Location: Cochise County, AZ
1,321 posts, read 836,592 times
Reputation: 2874
I doubt that I could live with another person and keep my sanity. I'm currently living with a younger brother, and it's driving me up the wall! He tends to just drop stuff where ever he's used it. For example, after he's used foil or saran wrap, he leaves it sitting on the counter or the table. If he makes a cheese sandwich instead of putting the wrapper into the garbage can, he leaves the wrapper on the table. Hey, I'm not his mom and I'm not going to clean up his messes!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-31-2015, 01:16 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,805 posts, read 70,635,877 times
Reputation: 76779
Did anyone ever notice how much ice cream the Golden Girls ate, without gaining weight? LOL! Who, after menopause, can scarf sugar and carbs without blimping out within days?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top