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Location: Approximately 50 miles from Missoula MT/38 yrs full time after 4 yrs part time
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Interesting Thread......it's no surprise to me that there are so many different opinions and desires in this regard.
My late wife of 51 years is buried in a beautifully cared for, 114 yr old cemetery here in our local town on a bluff overlooking a very scenic river. My daughter and I each live about 14 miles from the cemetery.........the headstone (for my wife and me) is there in place just waiting for the date of my demise.
Being in my 84th year, I have prepaid for everything (as of 4 yrs ago) and made all the arrangements so that my daughter has very little to arrange for.....being a cancer survivor I want her to experience as little stress as possible.
Since it is just my daughter and I remaining in our family, the instructions and requests I have given to the local funeral home and the instructions in the Living Trust should have "all the bases covered", even down to who is to end up with my faithful Dog.
Good for you. Most of my mom's arrangements were taken care of...except no one thougbt of pre-paying for funeral costs & one brother who had the most money got stuck with the bill. Sure everyon e pitched in their share when they had the funds but that brother felt cornered(you could see it on his face) and it was an issue that should have been addressed long before her death. We all knew her time was near but it was overlooked. I plan to pay for my cremation before my time so there will be no problems.
Good for you. Most of my mom's arrangements were taken care of...except no one thougbt of pre-paying for funeral costs & one brother who had the most money got stuck with the bill. Sure everyon e pitched in their share when they had the funds but that brother felt cornered(you could see it on his face) and it was an issue that should have been addressed long before her death. We all knew her time was near but it was overlooked. I plan to pay for my cremation before my time so therewill be no problems.
That's what I have done and my older daughter will be 'in charge'. I will be cremated and buried at the foot of my little sisters grave in the cemetery where my entire family is. My sister died at age three and then my sister had a baby that died at one year. They are both in the same plot. My brother's former wife's ashes are already there, as his will be and mine. There will be no funeral or memorial service because I don't want one. When my son died unexpectedly at age 34 it was a mess. I ended up paying $6,000 for the most simple service we could come up with. I won't inflict that on my remaining kids.
My parents had the best plan, I think. My dad built a beautiful box with two sections in it and lined it with royal blue velvet. One side holds his ashes and the other side has Mom's, in small velvet bags, with engraved plaques. My brother has the box and refuses to share ashes with anyone who wanted some. I don't want anyone's ashes to haul around with me and won't put that on my kids either. Actually, I feel like my parents are still 'with me' anyway so don't need anything else.
I plan to be cremated. While I haven't paid for it, direct cremation doesn't cost a lot and there will be more than enough money to cover the small expense. I don't want a fancy urn and I don't want to be kept on a shelf. I'd like my ashes scattered in a particular place, but that's not up to me. Really, anyplace that's nice will do. If anyone wants to have a little service, gathering or dinner, that's up to them.
Reading this has caused me to decide to scatter my parents ashes in a place I know they both loved. I've been thinking about it for quite a while. I'm finally ready.
We have a family plot but we will be moving away from this area to retire in WV. So our plan is to be buried together in the Allegheny National Cemetery. They cover several of the burial costs, also going to get caskets from Buycaskets.com I have mine all picked out . the other thing is it will be maintained.
Ugh, this is a sore subject but one I really need to think about. I am single with no siblings and a son that would not be able to arrange a funeral or be my executor, the way things are going. And my extended family is up North. So I have no idea who would do this, even if it's the bare minimum of arrangements. I don't have any friends close enough here in FL yet that I could ask, and I hate the thought of burdening anyone anyway. We have room in a family plot up North that my grandmother bought in the '40s, but that would involve getting my ashes up there, and the (currently) $900 for opening the grave. I don't like the idea of pre-paying due to the risks of the funeral home going out of business or what if I moved somewhere else, not that I envision that circumstance but you never know. And donating the body to science? Don't they have age limits on that? I always envisioned a huge funeral for myself, had even picked the songs and pallbearers, but after my Mom died and I arranged a huge funeral for her, I cared no more for what happens to me. I just hope that I get to see my Mom again.
My wife and I have donated our remains to the local medical college. Upon death, they remove the body within 24 hours. They have a once a year Memorial Service for those that did such. In our case, the survivor will have a "party" for the other one within a week or so of their passing. Drinking, eating, laughing as their remembrance.
My father-in-law was very independent and lived alone and was a no-nonsense guy. He had everything planned and paid for years ahead. When he passed the family had almost nothing to worry about...everything was covered. It was one of the best things that someone could offer a grieving family.
I'm not that organized... I have a plot (wife is buried there) with a stone and my name on it -- only needs a date -- but it is 1,000 miles from where I live now.
My father-in-law was very independent and lived alone and was a no-nonsense guy. He had everything planned and paid for years ahead. When he passed the family had almost nothing to worry about...everything was covered. It was one of the best things that someone could offer a grieving family.
I'm not that organized... I have a plot (wife is buried there) with a stone and my name on it -- only needs a date -- but it is 1,000 miles from where I live now.
Even without a death date I think it would give me the creeps to see a headstone with my name on it!
Ugh, this is a sore subject but one I really need to think about. I am single with no siblings and a son that would not be able to arrange a funeral or be my executor, the way things are going. And my extended family is up North. So I have no idea who would do this, even if it's the bare minimum of arrangements. I don't have any friends close enough here in FL yet that I could ask, and I hate the thought of burdening anyone anyway. We have room in a family plot up North that my grandmother bought in the '40s, but that would involve getting my ashes up there, and the (currently) $900 for opening the grave. I don't like the idea of pre-paying due to the risks of the funeral home going out of business or what if I moved somewhere else, not that I envision that circumstance but you never know. And donating the body to science? Don't they have age limits on that? I always envisioned a huge funeral for myself, had even picked the songs and pallbearers, but after my Mom died and I arranged a huge funeral for her, I cared no more for what happens to me. I just hope that I get to see my Mom again.
You can prepay directly to a crematorium. Also check out the Neptune Society. I believe it was Escort Rider who brought that to our attention.
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