Does age make us grouchy old men and crabby old ladies? (moving, community)

[jane_sm1th73]

Originally Posted by Dave_n_Tenn

I gotta tell ya... I remember growing up and seeing the fun old guys and the sweet old ladies. On the other hand we also had the grouchy old men and some of them old ladies, who I swear had moles with big black hairs growing out of 'em. I suppose I've noticed myself becoming a bit more intolerant and stubborn but not thoughtless or hard headed. You know the type... charter members of the *ithch and moan club.

So are some of us becoming the dreaded grumpy old men like Walter Mathau and Jack Lemmon? I see the cynicism in many responses here in this forum and it scares me to think I may become one of "them".

I always liked Ann-Margret

...just sayin'

For the record, I don't yet qualify as a crabby old lady.

HOWEVER, as some of the posters note, there comes a time when you know you don't have to color quite as strictly between the lines at work anymore. You know that if you get the big swish (*slices finger across throat and makes kicking motion toward front lobby*) you can keep it together until you start collecting SS - with interest, dividends, savings and a cute tin cup to make up the difference between a salary and goose eggs coming in.

...While making full time use of the bunker you've built under the overpass; your ever-handy RV; or the kids' refitted tool shed. Whatever. I calculated that point to be about five years ago. I was NOT prepared for the change in my attitude, attributable to what must have been this calculation because nothing else changed much.

I wouldn't necessarily say I became "crabby", just that I changed from being a contemplative quant. To a person who is - err...umm... - what has been described as 'frank and forthright' (*clears throat*).

I'm convinced it was because I could fall back on Plan B (the toolshed plan). Plan C was to open a beach bar in Goa or someplace else equally remote. Whatever, I knew I'd not starve on whatever I had coming in, prior to invoking SS. And, there are always those brochures that show you seniors (who look like they're 40) in (what look like) castles living on a tropical beach somewhere on less than $1000/month. Yeah! I'm gonna get me a piece a-that!

See? It was really e-z for me to fall into that thought process once I knew I was not going to starve.

I apologize if I have offended anybody: being canned once you're in the "expensive employee" category is nothing to be glib about. I'm sure if I had had to activate Plan B or Plan C it would not in fact have been all that cheery. I could very well have turned from singing that Johnny Cash song under my breath, to blubbering like a ninny, lol!

[texdav]

I'd have to say is all you have to do is watch news to see its really young people who have in fact taken grouchy to a new violent level. I see few older people acting as such. Older people are just more calm is my experience same as when I was younger dealing with people.

[meo92953]

I noticed my mom became crabby as Alzheimer's slowly took over. This also was the case with a woman who was a client when I did home health care. I think it was frustration more than anything else that caused the change.

[English Dave]

Originally Posted by jjpike

Most seniors are sweet, loving, caring and honorable.

We are?........... I'll be 62 in August.......... so I guess I am entering old geezerhood. I retired at 55, and since then my wife and I have had a great time. We go on holiday six times a year, yet I am still tetchy. I find my patience with children is getting less and less, and adult idiots more so. I do try to be nice sometimes, but it's hard when the world has so many fools in it.

[Hollywood55]

Originally Posted by BellaDL

Some of the recent 'less-than-friendly' (to put it mildly) exchanges at this cd retirement forum led me to similar question on whether people get grouchier as they get older.

As I had mentioned in another thread, I had done some searches and was thinking of starting a thread on scientific studies of the aging brain. Here is a study addressing the question which you raised:

We're Only Human...: The Neurology of Grumpiness




I found this particular finding quoted below interesting. It correlates with my observation that many people become more depressive in their old ages



This study gives me an additional excuse to consume more chocolates, my "happy happy joy joy" pills. I will try to eat some chocolates before posting here ;-)

I think sometimes old people can get easily frustrated. Keep a lot of prune juice on hand. While your at it, pick up some Depends, for good measure.

[Bluff_Dweller]

Originally Posted by English Dave

We are?........... I'll be 62 in August.......... so I guess I am entering old geezerhood. I retired at 55, and since then my wife and I have had a great time. We go on holiday six times a year, yet I am still tetchy. I find my patience with children is getting less and less, and adult idiots more so. I do try to be nice sometimes, but it's hard when the world has so many fools in it.

Ahh, your just a youngster Dave. Add a couple of generations and you will be with me. I have earned my crabbiness. It has been enjoyable reading your thoughts, but I have now had my breakfast so it time for my nap. Glad you and Judy are home safe and sound. Bluff

[theatergypsy]

Originally Posted by Hollywood55

I think sometimes old people can get easily frustrated. Keep a lot of prune juice on hand. While your at it, pick up some Depends, for good measure.

There it is. Stereotyping. That's what makes older people get cranky.

[English Dave]

Originally Posted by Bluff_Dweller

Ahh, your just a youngster Dave. Add a couple of generations and you will be with me. I have earned my crabbiness. It has been enjoyable reading your thoughts, but I have now had my breakfast so it time for my nap. Glad you and Judy are home safe and sound. Bluff

Thanks Bluff. I think we got out of Dodge just in time......... Hope you enjoyed your nap!

[Curmudgeon]

Originally Posted by Dave_n_Tenn

I gotta tell ya... I remember growing up and seeing the fun old guys and the sweet old ladies. On the other hand we also had the grouchy old men and some of them old ladies, who I swear had moles with big black hairs growing out of 'em. I suppose I've noticed myself becoming a bit more intolerant and stubborn but not thoughtless or hard headed. You know the type... charter members of the *ithch and moan club.

So are some of us becoming the dreaded grumpy old men like Walter Mathau and Jack Lemmon? I see the cynicism in many responses here in this forum and it scares me to think I may become one of "them".

I always liked Ann-Margret

...just sayin'

Well, some of us now old men were just born grouchy. Over time we evolve into curmudgeons.

[NYgal1542]

As having been one of the grumpiest posters recently, I feel a need to explain some things that people do not think about. My grumpiness/crabbiness is more situational than personality. Believe it or not, I have been a fun person, told funny stories, laughed a lot, etc.

But some of us (me in particular) who have been on their own for a long time trying to make good decisions about important things, learning to live with irreversible mistakes, losing jobs, wondering what the heck happened. Details are not needed at this time (imho). But in my case, having a large trust issue, didn't feel I could ask for help. And the few times I did, being turned down.

Then you reach a point where you think you see a way out of the misery and discover it was all delusional...... you really can't make that dream come true for one reason or another. But you have to stuff that down your throat and once again "accept" the reality rather than the dream. If you do that more than once, pretty soon there is no more room to stuff disappointment, so unfortunately it bubbles up at times.

I don't know if I have explained this well enough for anyone to understand. I'm sure I've left something out. There has always been too much.

I guess I would just like to say if you run into a friend/stranger who is grumpy/crabby, give that person a second/third? chance. At one time or another all of us will be straining under a burden of some kind.