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My former next door neighbor had been taking care of his wife full time for 3 years in their home. They were both in their 80's. He ended up having to place her in a Skilled Nursing Facility. Every day he went to feed her breakfast, spend the day with her, have both lunch and dinner with her. After a year of her living in the SNF their only daughter retired and moved back home to help her dad. She never married so had no obligations. They then took turns taking care of her. The dad would go in the morning and the daughter would come after lunch. That went on for another couple years until after 6 years of care my neighbors wife died. Six months later he followed her.
Another close friend has been caring for his wife for the past five years. The sad part is his wife helped care for her own mother who died of Alzheimer's. She now has it and they have four daughters that I can bet wonder if that is what will happen to them. I am friends with all of them and read their posts on Facebook.
It's been hard work but doable and I'm not in tip-top shape and health myself anymore. However, it is going to get easier as she's leaving me in September so I'll only have myself to worry about.
It's without question that I thought I'd be the one to be "taken care of" when the brain cells go bye-bye. However, of the many married couples I know who've retired.... more husbands are takin' care of their wives.... and a few wives of their wives, have passed away. I'm not properly prepared.
What should I expect?
If you end caring for spouse with dementia, you should expect some damn hard work and very little help.
One thing that people can do is get their housing situated. One story, handicap accessible, grab bars... Get rid of all the paraphernalia and pare your life down to what you need and use.
Nearly everyone hangs on way too long to lifestyles they can't manage.
I don't think on average that is true Op and has been thru time. M en have always on average died younger and gotten the illness that eventual kill them at younger age. However has women join the work force the difference has shrunk. I'd say certain females are much more prepared for such thing than men even if that has changed some what .But the other family also make a great difference in my experience.
One thing that people can do is get their housing situated. One story, handicap accessible, grab bars... Get rid of all the paraphernalia and pare your life down to what you need and use.
Nearly everyone hangs on way too long to lifestyles they can't manage.
This is certainly true for my parents and to some extent - with me, as well. I am younger than my husband but have had to face that his impairments are the determining factor in my lifestyle at this point.
Might as well face it and deal with it sooner than later.
I can't believe how much harder it is physically for me to move boxes and pack up stuff at this stage than even 5 years ago and I am not at full retirement age as of yet.
Of course, ideally, someone can be hired to do much of the heavy lifting and handyman projects or renovations that need to be done to make a home more handicap-accessible.
But many of us will find that we need to downsize and move to a different location, so might as well start sorting and making plans even if the expected need is several years down the road. It has taken me much much longer to downsize and renovate than I ever anticipated.
One thing that people can do is get their housing situated. One story, handicap accessible, grab bars... Get rid of all the paraphernalia and pare your life down to what you need and use.
Nearly everyone hangs on way too long to lifestyles they can't manage.
One thing that people can do is get their housing situated. One story, handicap accessible, grab bars... Get rid of all the paraphernalia and pare your life down to what you need and use.
Nearly everyone hangs on way too long to lifestyles they can't manage.
I'm getting out now - I can feel that I'm tiring of being a slave to a house. I'm my own worse enemy - I create work - always something that could look better and that project grows and grows.
I do wonder if I'll get bored with just a small abode with a small yard? Nope...
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