Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I've had no such problem really. I think its mostly you either can adapt and blend in or you can't. Many move in do not become involved in small community life ;so its not so strange. Others just blend in and make friends easily. I think anyone who served in military or went to college away know what I am talking about.
Some folks don't want to conform to other people's standards, beliefs, religions, or politics. Living near a small town is best for us. When we go in to town everyone is friendly and no one knows us. Except for a select few. Heaven!
OTOH, if you are a natural fit for small towns, aka, a conformist or "normal", being in a small town is heaven.
My best friend lives in town (pop. 5,000) and the things he tells me only confirms the OP's experience. A lot of people won't even go to the ER in town and instead will drive 25 miles away. Now that's sad.
I agree with TwinbrookNine. I prefer to live outside of town. Give me a dirt road and mother nature and I am happy! I have always "made friends easily" and I adapt even easier, but the small town B.S. is not for me.
An area with a limited number of people does NOT equate to a 'small town'. If there are a 'ton' of city slicker retirees, it isn't a 'small town'. And if it is 10 minutes to a 100,000 population city, it isn't a 'small town'.
If a town has 3,000 residents, and people in a 50 mile radius consider that to be 'going to town', THAT'S a 'small town'!
I agree, at least with your first paragraph. A popular magazine currently has an article on 50 Best Small Towns and almost every town is just a few miles from a large, metropolitan area (e.g., Boston, Seattle, San Francisco, Denver, Portland). These are just suburbs, not small towns. I spent half my childhood in a town of 15K, the county seat, an hour to the next town of 15k, two hours to town of 50K, etc. The town actually has less people now. It was a great place to grow up in and many of my classmates stayed. I would be more comfortable in a small or medium sized city. But if you are outdoorsy and love to hike and bike and don't care about shopping or driving a couple of hours to see a medical specialist or go to an airport, it's a nice place.
I am currently visiting the small remote town of my heart (have been visiting since 1988) and have decided already to let it go. And now I am changing my mind completely. I've been talking to local people and it appears that the town and area are about 50 percent retired people, most from elsewhere or who have spent their working lives elsewhere. There's a reason so many people spend school years and working years in big congested areas with lots happening- of course it's where the work is.
One man stopped today while I was walking around the lot I've been eyeing and nicely said that he was a nosy neighbor- that the woman in his life lives in the house next to the lot and he wanted to keep an eye on things. We talked for about two hours, he told me plenty about the lot (and I still want it) and I finally got it down to, I'm afraid of being lonely and depressed in a new beloved house with dogs. He said there's no such thing in this town, that there are so many women like his lady and myself and always something to be involved in.
I think I'm an overly friendly, non-B.S. person for the area where I've been living for years. My life there feels stale and the thought of retirement life, while I really look forward to not working, the rest feels stale, too. The river and mountains here where I'm visiting never fail to thrill me, and it's been almost 31 years since I first saw them. Yes, the hospital and new cancer center (my major health potential issue) is 30 miles away and is not necessarily big-city quality, and yes, you do have to get to the towns and cities where there is more health care if you need it. But I try to balance that against a friendly beautiful place where people have come on purpose from other places.
One real estate woman (who came to this town from southern Florida via Vail, Colorado's fail as a realized dream) said that there are many people who think they want to retire in Paradise and leave in relatively short time. She said the one consistent theme is time and distance away from family, mostly grown children and grandchildren. (Not a problem for me!) She said there were groups of people from all kinds of backgrounds and in recent years, more people are making a living by working remotely and only sometimes going to their former city for face-to-face time. One man started making homemade beeswax candles and, with the internet going gangbusters, now employs 11 people. Etc.
I felt very heartened by my own openness and the pleasantness of the people I've spoken to. It really was my main concern, besides that I'll have to sell my dream house back East, but I never wanted life to be about a house and that alone, and I feel I've "been there/done that" for my life outside a major city. I remember the times when I thought the only place on the planet I could feel belonging was Cambridge, Massachusetts, and how that never quite worked out and I moved out of the city and now wonder how I could have felt that way.
Surely I'm not the only person whose major issue is leaving a beloved house, eh? I am sort of stunned at how natural it seems to be moving (slowly) towards moving to this town. "My" lot is two blocks from the town park, library, non-denominational church, and a local favorite restaurant/bar named after the John Wayne movie that was filmed here. A strange mix of retirees, low-key Hollywood/New York people and real cowboys with spurs who look rough and call you "ma'am" when they hold the door for you. I think the East is more go-go-go than I've been conscious of, because I'm not really part of it (living on the fringe, working shift work).
Rambling here. I do think I will be buying the lot (in my own good time- best to make an offer in the dead of winter, when few tourists are drifting around having property daydreams!). I am about three years from true retirement. I can really see doing this and hope I will not forget when I get sucked down again in the humidity and work stress (and house love) in the East.
I am currently visiting the small remote town of my heart (have been visiting since 1988) and have decided already to let it go. And now I am changing my mind completely. I've been talking to local people and it appears that the town and area are about 50 percent retired people, most from elsewhere or who have spent their working lives elsewhere. There's a reason so many people spend school years and working years in big congested areas with lots happening- of course it's where the work is.
.
This must be Ridgway? I say go for it - for the very reasons you have stated - it pulls on your heart strings - it invigorates you - it gives you a sense of "this is it". Don't be your worst enemy. You can build your "dream" house there.
Yes, Ridgway, and that "I'm home" feeling from the big mountains. Not just "oh, this is so pretty" (as are many places) but "this is my place." Thank you for the support. I am my worst enemy. I never wanted to act (or not act) out of fear, have learned some reasonable prudence with my many failures of several types but I think this could work well.
I am currently visiting the small remote town of my heart (have been visiting since 1988) and have decided already to let it go. And now I am changing my mind completely. I've been talking to local people and it appears that the town and area are about 50 percent retired people, most from elsewhere or who have spent their working lives elsewhere. There's a reason so many people spend school years and working years in big congested areas with lots happening- of course it's where the work is.
One man stopped today while I was walking around the lot I've been eyeing and nicely said that he was a nosy neighbor- that the woman in his life lives in the house next to the lot and he wanted to keep an eye on things. We talked for about two hours, he told me plenty about the lot (and I still want it) and I finally got it down to, I'm afraid of being lonely and depressed in a new beloved house with dogs. He said there's no such thing in this town, that there are so many women like his lady and myself and always something to be involved in.
I think I'm an overly friendly, non-B.S. person for the area where I've been living for years. My life there feels stale and the thought of retirement life, while I really look forward to not working, the rest feels stale, too. The river and mountains here where I'm visiting never fail to thrill me, and it's been almost 31 years since I first saw them. Yes, the hospital and new cancer center (my major health potential issue) is 30 miles away and is not necessarily big-city quality, and yes, you do have to get to the towns and cities where there is more health care if you need it. But I try to balance that against a friendly beautiful place where people have come on purpose from other places.
One real estate woman (who came to this town from southern Florida via Vail, Colorado's fail as a realized dream) said that there are many people who think they want to retire in Paradise and leave in relatively short time. She said the one consistent theme is time and distance away from family, mostly grown children and grandchildren. (Not a problem for me!) She said there were groups of people from all kinds of backgrounds and in recent years, more people are making a living by working remotely and only sometimes going to their former city for face-to-face time. One man started making homemade beeswax candles and, with the internet going gangbusters, now employs 11 people. Etc.
I felt very heartened by my own openness and the pleasantness of the people I've spoken to. It really was my main concern, besides that I'll have to sell my dream house back East, but I never wanted life to be about a house and that alone, and I feel I've "been there/done that" for my life outside a major city. I remember the times when I thought the only place on the planet I could feel belonging was Cambridge, Massachusetts, and how that never quite worked out and I moved out of the city and now wonder how I could have felt that way.
Surely I'm not the only person whose major issue is leaving a beloved house, eh? I am sort of stunned at how natural it seems to be moving (slowly) towards moving to this town. "My" lot is two blocks from the town park, library, non-denominational church, and a local favorite restaurant/bar named after the John Wayne movie that was filmed here. A strange mix of retirees, low-key Hollywood/New York people and real cowboys with spurs who look rough and call you "ma'am" when they hold the door for you. I think the East is more go-go-go than I've been conscious of, because I'm not really part of it (living on the fringe, working shift work).
Rambling here. I do think I will be buying the lot (in my own good time- best to make an offer in the dead of winter, when few tourists are drifting around having property daydreams!). I am about three years from true retirement. I can really see doing this and hope I will not forget when I get sucked down again in the humidity and work stress (and house love) in the East.
Brightdog, I looked Ridgway up on Goog Maps. How on earth did you ever find it? It seems so far off the beaten track! Of course, I am in the Metro DC reality bubble, so it's likely that most neat places are off of my radar. Another reason why I appreciate this forum - opens my eyes to the rest of the country, lol!
I'd rent a place in Ridgway or the vicinity for 6-12 months but keep your home in MA until you make a final decision. After that, I think you will know which place is for you.
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
34,690 posts, read 57,994,855 times
Reputation: 46171
Oh Yeah, Ridgway is as sweet as your dreams (coming from this (displaced) Colorado kid...) I escaped to there and points nearby many a weekend. I actually like that it is so close to Moab (another good place to escape (better to visit than to live)). Black Canyon is another very favorite spot nearby. and DO visit Waunita Hot Springs (Gunnison) sometime off season! Waunita Hot Springs Ranch - Guest Ranch and Bed & Breakfast - Gunnison, Colorado (we were the ONLY guests and they let us chose whatever room we wanted!). nice , NICE family run outfit. We had the whole pool to ourselves (for two days)
I hope you can realize all your dreams! but then you will have to be like me and have more than one 'spot' to call home. Since you are a fellow nightshifter... you are capable of doing more than one thing at a time (likely a zillion things going!) and you are used to nay-sayers (BTW: "only axe-murderers and alcoholics work night shift!" )
""Surely I'm not the only person whose major issue is leaving a beloved house, eh? " I find that I can call MANY places home! It is VERY handy that all my places CASH flow (rented) and have a spare cabin / spot for me to enjoy (for free). (add that apartment above your MA garage, or a cottage off the alley). You might need to be 'stealth' about it... to keep it CHEAP
Hang in there.. it will all come together! Trust me... (I'm always busy picking up the pieces!)
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
34,690 posts, read 57,994,855 times
Reputation: 46171
Quote:
Originally Posted by jane_sm1th73
Brightdog, I looked Ridgway up on Goog Maps. How on earth did you ever find it? ... neat places are off of my radar. Another reason why I appreciate this forum - opens my eyes to the rest of the country, lol!
Thanks, Jane
Hang around Jane, and we will show you LOTS of neat places! (small towns)
Beautiful for sure. Lonely? doubt it Plenty of free time to cut firewood (good thing... Burrrr)
I also like Encampment, Saratoga, and Afton, WY (only in my dreams will I be able to retire to WY... I will need to grow some fur and become quite single before I even consider it ).
I have found so many nice places, not enough 'retirements' to enjoy them!
Many Europeans winter their 'Motorsailers' in a gorgeous harbor we lived in British Columbia. As Nice / pristine / quiet / adventurous as Island living was ... I will stick with Mtns. https://www.google.com/search?q=thet...IVAqKACh0cAAeS
Living by a ferry schedule and taking 6 hrs and $100 to get to the city was a bit over the top (for luxury / remote). I could have probably SWAM to Vancouver BC in less than 6 hrs!. Taking the float plane was cheaper and took <10 minutes. (Not cheaper for the whole family at the time...).
My family roots are from a prairie town that once boasted as many as 500 people. It has been in a population decline since the 1950's. There is a lot of empty real estate there. Several families came and built homes, but later had to move, and no buyers. Thus you have such great deals as
circa 2010 (USA): 7 Towns Where Land is Free How to Get Free Land in the USA: 13 Steps - wikiHow
To Jane,
I found Ridgway by curious coincidences. In 1984, I was making a drive from Phoenix to Philadelphia with a high school buddy who wanted help driving his truck across the country. I had always longed for the West (horses, scenery) but only driven through it once. Buddy said there was a neat drive through Colorado, and we went down through Hotchkiss and Paonia, and it looked like a beautiful dream, and I wondered what it would be like to live in such a place (knowing that I couldn't, had no place there, had to work, etc. etc.) We drove through a small town that had very obvious "William Tell/Swiss" building fronts (Ouray) and I noticed how odd that seemed.
Flash forward four years, and I have a plan now that I'm making some money to go to a different guest ranch in a different part of the country every year, starting in 1988. I got some brochures from Chambers of Commerce (pre-internet, of course) and called a couple. The lady in Colorado called back first, sounded very nice, so I decided to go with that ranch. After the ranch picked me up in the airport in Montrose, they ran an errand in the next town, and I saw those William Tell things and said, Hey, I've been here before! The ranch was between Ridgway (town) and Ouray.
Well, the riding and company of the San Juan Guest Ranch completely had me. I never went to another place until they closed around 2002. The lady retired to Montrose and I still visit her (saw her yesterday, age 86). She is very dear to me. I have continued to get to Ridgway every other year or so, to visit her, to try ranches a few hours away, to pass through when trying a place in Utah, etc. I cannot seem to let Ridgway go. It's the most magnificent setting I've seen, and as beautiful as other places are to me (and I checked out Nepal's views and mountains!) I keep going back to Ridgway. Every time I've driven through Colorado's big mountains, I have felt at home.
Twice I bought and sold relatively remote lots outside Ridgway proper on a daydream, and feared isolation, and knew that work wouldn't be happening if I moved there, and kept thinking I had to live near Cambridge. But as I feel isolated and adrift in my East Coast life and near retirement, I returned to the idea of doing something dramatic in retirement rather than the same stuff (and down moods) of my East Coast life. It really feels like 'been there/done that' although I love my house. My eyes have been opened in talking to people (I talk to strangers wherever I go) and Ridgway is changing from a very parochial local town with some tourists to a retirement area, all kinds of people's backgrounds, a lot of transplants and locals who seem OK with the changes (well, maybe not with the big honking houses on ridges, but they're not allowed anymore).
I have not wanted to make my decisions out of fear and I have feared getting old in a more isolated place. The hospital and new cancer center are 30 miles away and I see no need to make that drive for the famous "shopping" that concerns some people. Ridgway has a nice market (expensive) and most other things that one might need (word of mouth, handyman, mechanic, vet, medical clinic). There are summer concerts in the town park, which seems to be the center of a lot of activity.
I do think the internet has contributed greatly to what seems like very healthy (small) growth here. People are not so isolated in ideas and access. Transplants can stay in touch with the rest of their worlds. People can make a living remotely, at least some can, and that is a big change.
In thinking all this through over the years, I've learned that I'm a town person in terms of density. Not an outta town person, not a city person and absolutely not suburban, but town, maybe edge of town. I wouldn't move here if needing to work, although likely could have gotten work in Montrose as an RN, but I can see retirement here. The animal shelter has become quite a regional service with lots of opportunities to be involved. There is year around swimming *outdoors* at the hot springs which I have to see to believe. The winters are no worse than New England and are a lot sunnier and drier. And the summers, oh the summers.
I also wonder if legal marijuana has had an effect, of bringing tourists this way who then want to live or retire in the area for having found it. There are two dispenseries here, but what interested me was that one had a bountiful fruit stand in front, and you can't beat the fruit from the Delta area at this time of year.
So, not in short, but in long, that's how I found Ridgway and I wasn't looking for it in the first place but over these years, it has not let me go. Tomorrow I'm taking an all-day jeep tour over mountain passes and am biting off the Big One. I'm told Black Bear Pass is pretty extreme, but I figure the tour guys don't want to lose any tourists or fall off the mountain themselves. Friday I'm visiting my elderly friend again and am getting Nepalese/Indian takeout for our meal. (There are Nepal/Colorado connections all over the mountains due to, well, mountains! Saturday I'm driving a few hours to meet up with a poster from CD who I've been in touch with, then Sunday drive some four hours to a guest ranch that is at 10,000 feet, and I should be acclimated, as Ridgway is about 7,000.
Yes, I still am working on a backup plan if I become frail and find it unmanageable to live here. People do often leave their retirement homes here for other environs with age, although there are also some services and efforts for people to be able to live here with some assist. I so don't want to stay curled up in my East Coast house for fear of old age. I am thinking of lining up a CCRC in my mind should I not like Ridgway or more likely, should I develop some infirmity that makes life here too hard. But I am much encouraged by what I am learning about community and social life here and think it could be a real new life for me in retirement, as opposed to my old life minus the job. My feeling is, once I sell the dream house back East, that life will recede and be over. After all I've spent some 40 years living that life, and I don't want to change it for a daydream, I want to change it for real.
That's my story so I'll stick to it. Thanks for asking.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
When we go in to town everyone is friendly and no one knows us. Except for a select few. Heaven!
Now that's sad. 
and have more than one 'spot' to call home. Since you are a fellow nightshifter
... you are capable of doing more than one thing at a time (likely a zillion things going!) and you are used to nay-sayers
(BTW: "only axe-murderers and alcoholics work night shift!" 
) 
... to keep it CHEAP 
)
